High school of light and dark
by Shirosenshi Kisetsu 116
Summary: It's a Link and Dark Link high school fic! Dark get's bored and suggests him and Link go to high school to learn more about the era they live in. Chaos will follow! Link/Dark Link Yaoi! Complete!
1. Prologue

READ THIS! A/N: So I'm gonna start this story with Link and Kai (Dark Link) Going to high school.

I know... It's been done before... But I wanna try it! The story line is a bit confusing so I'm going to tell you here so your not confused later on.

So it's going to start after an epic battle with Ganondorf, Link and Kai had teamed up... They're both elves in this fic, so they can live to be very old, Zelda and the sages are killed, so on, so forth. Then we time skip to present time... Like 2008... When Hyrule is all epic with technology and stuff. Link and Kai had been wandering around the world, and they had decided to come back to Hyrule, and Kai suggested they go to school since they were reading and watching stuff on how fun high school was and they had nothing else to do.

So I hope that will clear up any confusion, and if it doesn't... Well you'll just have to ask me.

I don't own Zelda.. Or the idea of High school... No those bastards can keep their idea..

* * *

Link narrowed his eyes at the chaos that had once been Hyrule field. It was obvious that a climactic battle had taken place there a short time before. The ground had sections blown away, and in some areas it was burnt. Trees had also been torn out from the place where they stood, revealing spider like roots that twisted in every direction. The shadow came to stand beside him, placing his hands on his hips and letting out a low whistle.

"Wow hero... way to destroy half the field." He ruffled the hair of his better self affectionately.

Link shrugged him off. "How can you act so happy after everything that's happened?" He gave his pale skinned, silver haired partner a glare, and red eyes glared right back at him.

"I'm not happy... I can't feel any emotion remember? It's more like... My way of expressing relief..."

Link picked up the master sword and whipped off the blood. Ganondorf's body lay not far from where they were standing, the evil king's face was caught in an eternal scowl which was almost comical to look at.

"You have a weird way of expressing yourself shadow..." Link said while taking a few brisk steps towards Hyrule castle, leaving the shadow behind to do what he wanted.

"Hey I thought we had agreed to use the name Malon gave me. So call me Kaiten... Or Kai." He said as he walked over to Ganondorf, picked up a stick and started poking him.

"I don't know why she would bother giving a monster like you a name..." Link paused to wait for Kai to clue in to the fact that he was getting left behind. "You coming... Kai?"

Kai stood up, now bored of poking the dead guy, and started to walk towards the castle, passing Link in the process. "Yeah, yeah. You know something hero? You're a cold hearted bastard." He turned around while still walking to look at Link, now walking backwards. "Come on! Let's go see your Princess and Malon."

Link allowed a small smirk to touch his lips. "And you don't think that half of Hyrule isn't going on about Malon's new shadow boyfriend?" He couldn't stop the smile that appeared as the shadow visibly flinched. "Her father's not happy..."

Kai flinched again at the mention of Malon's father. "We're not together, okay? I have no interest in women..." _I only have an interest in you... Why do you think I'm still here?_ "I bet he's still gonna kill me though..."

Link placed a hand on his shoulder. "Fear not shadow... He won't kill you."

"Really?"

"No... He'll just beat you until you're almost dead..." The hero let out a chuckle, then ran ahead, excited to see Zelda again, the young princess was like a sister to him, and he was excited to spend time with her now that Ganondorf had been killed.

Kai let out a long sigh. "Yeah... I'm screwed..."

Shock fell upon Kai's expression when he entered the castle court yard. The dead bodies of guards were scattered everywhere, like a huge blast had thrown them. A few of the servants were also laying around, their faces twisted into fearful expressions. He was slightly aware of the bodies of the sages also thrown about, perhaps it was because they were mangled beyond recognition.

And then his eyes shifted to the center of the courtyard, the same place where Link and Zelda had first met. He saw the hero kneeling on the ground, holding onto the princess, her body limp in his arms. _Oh snap... He's gonna be pissed... I hope she's just unconscious..._

When he was sure he could speak with out revealing his thoughts, he asked. "Is she dead?" _Damn... Spoke with out thinking again... I'm dead..._ He stepped closer, testing his luck. He could hear Link slowly and steadily breathing. _Yep... He snapped... _He watched as the hero gently laid the body of the princess on the grassy surface, still breathing slowly.

Kai jumped when he heard him speak.

"Let's go." His eyes were still shaded with his bangs, so the shadow couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Um, go where exactly?" He had no idea what the elf was talking about.

"We're leaving... Unless you wish to stay here..." He stood up and walked passed the shadow, his eyes still covered.

"Is she actually-"

"Dead? Yes!" Link spun around to face him, tears were in his eyes, some had escaped and run down his cheeks in silvery paths. Whether they were sad tears or angry tears, he couldn't tell.

"Well let's stop and get Malon, you know she'd be pissed if we left her."

He watched as the hero's expression turned from angry to sad. "She's dead Kai... I saw her on the sidewalk outside, she was laying beside her wagon... I thought she was sleeping, when I got closer, I knew something was wrong, not only with her, but the whole castle."

"Oh..." Was the only thing he could say to that. "So we're just going to leave?"

"Yes."

"Where are we gonna go? Who's gonna bury them?" He was surprised to find that he was feeling anything for the people who had died, it was getting hard to contain himself.

"The villagers of Kakariko will find them, and where are we going? I don't know yet... But I don't want to stay here and be dragged into being a king or something, and we both know that's what will happen."

Kai nodded then walked over to the hero, ruffling his already messy golden hair. "Fine then... let's go..."


	2. Start of first day! Dun! Dun! Dun!

I don't own Zelda... Or Naruto... I do mention it...

**Hyrule: **

**Year 2008 **

The sound of an alarm clock broke through the morning silence. Link let out a sigh that was soon followed by a long yawn. His eyes flicked towards the clock, it read six in the morning, he growled then slammed his hand on the annoying piece of technology, silencing it's shrilly cries. _I'm going to kill Kai for setting it this early. _He sat up and stretched, working the grogginess from his mind. Kai chose that moment to run into the room.

"Come on hero! Time to get up! We can't be late for our first day of high school!" The shadow happily bounced over to the dresser and picked out an outfit. "Here, you'll look really sexy in this."

Link stared flatly at him. "You are very... Hyper this morning."He commented as he got out of bed, grabbing his clothes on the way to the bathroom.

Crimson eyes sparkled with amusement. "Well this is the first time we'll be interacting closely with these humans."

After the two had wondered across the world, they had decided to return to Hyrule after a 5000 year absence. Being quite wealthy, due to the fact that they had to take up jobs in order to survive the modern world, they had bought a fairly large house to live in, needing the space so they wouldn't have to interact with each other that much.

...

Ok maybe a mansion would better fit the word 'large'. Kai had also suggested they get a car, so they wouldn't have to take the bus, of course it was the most expensive car the shadow could find. Link didn't really care.

Kai sat at Link's computer desk, spinning around in the chair as he waited for his 'brother' to get out of the shower. They would have to pose as twin brothers, which wasn't hard seeing as they were that close anyways. "Hurry up Link... I'm getting bored..." He heard the elf give a responsive grumble, making Kai laugh quietly.

"Seriously it's not even seven, I really prefer the crabby emotionless shadow... You're getting pretty good at faking emotions." He stepped back into the room wearing snug blue jeans, not too snug, and a white dress shirt.

Kai cat called him. "Looking good..." He winked at Link making the hero sigh crossly. "And I'm not that crabby." He was wearing Black jeans and a plain black T-shirt that had 'Nyan' written on it in white.

"Yeah, what ever... Let's go and get something to eat while we're waiting for school to start." Link grabbed the keys off the desk and walked toward the stairs.

Kai followed closely behind him. "Sure! I vote for subway."

After eating the breakfast thingies at subway, it was around eight. Kai pushed Link toward the sexy sleek car that was theirs. "We should go to school early so we can find all of our classes."

"Kai, did anyone ever tell you you're a pain in the ass?" Link asked as he slid into the drivers seat.

Kai jumped in beside him smirking. "Yeah this one guy did the day after we totally got it on the night before, he said-"

"Ok! That's quite enough information!" Link had slapped a hand over the shadows mouth to shut him up. After he dubbed it safe to let Kai speak again, he removed it. "How can you talk about that stuff so openly?" He turned the key in the ignition and pulled onto the road, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

"Maybe it's because you're still a virgin, and I'm not." This time the shadow broke out in a loud laugh as the blush on the elf's cheeks got darker.

"I. Am. Not. A. Virgin." But the look on his face said otherwise.

"Sure, sure hero. Who knows? You might be able to fix that if you find a girl at school." _Like I would let that happen..._ "That happens a lot in movies. Speaking of movies..." He laughed again.

"What's so funny Shadow?" Link glared at him.

"It's nothing... Just that movie the 40 year old virgin... You're like the 5017 year old virgin."

"Oh ha ha." Link glared out the window, scaring some poor old lady who had pulled up beside them and happen to peer over at them, Link ignored her. "Look there's the school." He pointed towards the very formidable looking building that stood in front of them.

Kai's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Holy shit! That's way bigger then what I imagined it! It's like the size of old Hyrule castle."

Link pulled the car in to one of the student parking lot spaces and turned the car off. "Look at the sign, it says... Hyrule High..." _I can feel I migraine coming on..._

Kai coughed trying to hide a laugh. "How original... Well, let's go."

They walked up to the school, a greying brown haired man who looked to be his early forties greeted them. "Hey kids! My name's Mr. Foster, I'm the principal. Your homeroom number is posted on one of the papers in the window beside your name, your home room teacher will give you your schedule for first semester classes." He gave then a warm smile and gestured towards the windows where the papers were posted.

Link nodded his head. "Thank you very much Sir."

Kai was already over at the window, checking the list for his name. 'Kaiten Savior, Rm: 1014 KKS10' "What's KKS10?"

Mr. Foster pointed to the class translations page above them. "Kokiri studies 10, so you're both brothers in grade 10 eh?"

Kai shrugged. "Yeah I guess... What's your homeroom class Link?"

The hero sighed in relief. "Same class, come on, let's go meet the teacher." He grabbed hold of Kai's T-shirt and pulled him along.

It took them a half an hour to find the class room, the school was huge. Three stories, each section built to hold certain types of classes, the maths, the sciences and the arts. Kokiri studies was on the second floor with the English classes, and by the time they arrived in the class room, it was five minutes before class.

The teacher didn't even look up when the two boys walked in. "Take a seat where ever you like boys." She said in a high pitched, but pleasantly soft voice.

Link moved to sit front row centre, and took out the binders he had brought with him in his backpack.

Kai sighed and took seat beside him, also pulling out his binders. _So Link's gonna be the nerdy type eh? _It was then that he noticed the teacher staring at them with wide eyes. "Is something wrong Mrs..."

"It's Mrs. Thompson, sorry, I've just never seen a grade ten boy walk into a class room and immediately pull out his binder, it surprised me." She smiled revealing perfectly white and even teeth. "I can tell I'm going to like you boys."

Kai laughed nervously. "Um, Ok then!" He turned back to his paper and wrote the date down.

The first bell rang, the awkward moment came to an end. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai could see Link grinning at him. He gave a glare that clearly read 'shut the hell up' and turned his attention to the door where people were now filing in.

A boy walked in, you could tell almost immediately that he was the comic relief in the class, this was proven true as the teacher giggled and said. "Hello Dave, are you back for another year?"

The boy named Dave took the seat in the very back of the class room and sat down slouched. "Yeah Miss, I just couldn't handle the thought of going through a whole year without seeing your pretty face." He smirked, challenging her.

"Oh! I see you can now speak a whole sentence now! And it even makes sense!"

Some students that had just walked in laughed. Link had a confused look plastered on his face, Kai laughed and pointed a finger at him.

A group of girls that had just walked in, stopped short when they spotted the twins at the front of the class.

Link sighed and rubbed his temples. "Oh great.. The generic fan girls."

They took the seats that were the closest to Link and Kai, then sat there talking in quiet whispers and giggles.

Kai began to think. _Ok... I can either be the really popular guy who all the girls swarm around, or I can be the emo guy who just ignores them and still gets attention, it's a win, win, situation. The emo thing worked well for the Sasuke dude in that anime show, but look where he ended up...So that leaves. _

He turned to the girls, Link sent him a warning glance but he ignored it. "Hello ladies. My name is Kaiten... Kai for short, it is very nice to meet you..." He made sure emphasized certain words at just the right time.

All the girls blinked twice, then fainted foaming at the mouth.

Mrs. Thompson stood up and walked to the front of the class. "Now, now Kai... No dazzling the girls."

Kai turned to look at her quickly. "Ho-how did you know my name?"

She gave him a sympathetic look. "Sweetheart... You just said it out loud."

Kai banged his head against the table.

The class laughed.

The second bell rang, announcing the starting of class. Mrs. Thompson was about to start her famous 'beginning of the school year' speech, when a voice called out. "Wait!"

And that's when she walked in.

* * *

xD Ok.. I know their last name is weird, but it was the only thing I could think of... And if your wondering, which you probably aren't, but I'm going to say it anyways... I m strongly basing this fic off my first year in high school! Well sort of... The names are different...


	3. Enter teachers from hell!

**Chapter 3: Enter teachers from hell!**

"Wait!" Everyone in the class turned to look towards the door. She came bounding in and then stopped as she entered the room. "Sorry... I was having trouble getting my locker open." Pale fingers played with the end of long blond hair nervously.

Kai was certain he did a quintuple take. He nudged Link who had ignored the commotion at the back of the class and was looking at the board. "Come on smart ass, checkout the girl who just walked in."

Link turned to give him a lazy stare. "Kai unlike you I am not a man whore, now be quiet... the teacher's talking."

"Thank you... Let me see... Zelda was it, Ok you can take the last empty seat at the front of the class." She gestured towards the desk that was next to Link.

Link had also done a quintuple take when he heard the girl's name.

"Oh that's just sick Miss!" Dave shouted from the back of the class. (Don't ask... The guy in my class said this every time the teacher asked someone to do something...)

The teacher scowled. "Don't start Dave..."

A light blush touched Zelda's cheeks as she made her way to her desk, not failing to catch her foot on an unknown object and falling into a pile of blond hair and pink clothing.

The class laughed, Link and Kai sighed.

"Why didn't you catch her?" Kai asked scratching the bridge of his nose.

"I didn't think she was that clumsy."

"You don't think she would have liked to be saved from an embarrassing moment?"

Link gestured towards the already forming fan girl's group. "I don't think she would like to be killed by them."

"Right..."

Zelda stood up and brushed herself off, she glanced in Link's direction as she sat down, the blush deepening.

Kai chuckled quietly. "Wow... She just got here and already the new Zelda has fallen head over heels for you, I really don't blame her... You are pretty hot."

Link's eyes narrowed. "You know I don't like it when you hit on me... That's incest." He turned to observe the girl.

"So... The Egyptian people did it." _He is so gay..._ _But if he's gay... He wouldn't be looking at Zelda like that... This needs some investigation._ He fell silent as the teacher began her long rant.

Link tried to pay attention to the teacher, but he was becoming very distracted by the girl sitting in the row next to him. She was wearing a light pink colored tank top and a short jean mini skirt, very simple but it seemed to fit her personality. _Well at least she hasn't lost her love for the color pink. _He sighed and prepared to wait out a very long class.

By the time the teacher was done the introduction speech that all the grade tens had to listen to, Dave was asleep and drooling a large puddle onto his desk, Kai had a very bored expression which was probably stuck there for good, and Link had turned into a mute.

"And that's about it for the boring explanation of how things work in high school, which has little difference between it and Jr. High, here's your schedule's for the rest of this semester, the bell will ring shortly so sit down and talk quietly." She sat down at her desk and began flipping through her binder.

Kai raised an eyebrow."Is our teacher on crack?"

Link was to busy staring at Zelda from the corner of his eye to respond.

Kai ruffled his light's hair. "Hey earth to hero! You still in there bro?"

The bell rang, Dave jumped out of his chair and bolted out the door whooping and cheering as he went.

Kai stood up. "What class you have next hero?"

"English... Stop calling me that! What do you have?" Link walked past his darker half and towards the door.

Kai slumped over. "Math... I have freakin math!"

Link chuckled. "I don't have that until next semester, what other classes do we have together?"

They both checked over their schedule's, not caring that the bell rings only two minutes till the next class started. (I really hate that)

Kai shrugged. "I have art after lunch, and then history."

"I have art after lunch too... What room?"

"2010."

Link nodded. "Same..." They were cut off by the sound of the bell.

"Shit! Where the hell is the math room?" He looked around the hallway, half expecting to see a sign with an arrow pointing towards the math room.

"I don't know Kai... But my English is right next to my Kokiri studies... See ya!" He ran into the class before the shadow could kill him.

"Damn... I need to put a leash on him... Oops, twisted that."

"Excuse me?"

Kai turned to look, not at all surprised to see Zelda. "Yes princess?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I was wondering if you knew where the advanced math ten was?" _Why did he call me princess? I hope he's not hitting on me..._

Kai laughed, mostly to himself and crossed his arms over his chest. "Sorry princess... But I have no divine idea where the math room is located."

"Divine? Never mind... Well let's go look for it, unless you're not in math..." She started playing with her hair again.

"I'm in it alright... Damn Link has all the damn luck." He took hold of her hand and dragged her in a random direction.

"Link? Is that the name of the guy who was sitting by you?" This sentence was said between breaths as she was dragged.

"Yeps! He's my twin brother!" He accidentally ran in to a grade twelve who in return gave him a nasty look. "Sorry dude!"

"You're really hyper, did you know that?" She was beginning to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Yeah... I get like this some times... Forgot to take my medication this morning..." He shrugged and took another turn that led up the stairs.

"ADD? Or ADHD?" _I think I'm going to collapse..._

"Both if you ask me..." They stopped in front of a black foreboding door that had a sign that read 'AD Math 10'. It was decorated with little furry creatures and smiley faces.

Kai turned to Zelda who had a very scared look on her face. "Now if that's not evil... then Ganondorf and me used to have tea parties with the ReDeads..."

She gave him the 'what planet are you from?' look. "Who's Ganondorf? Your father? And what's a ReDead...?"

"I'll explain later..." He opened the door and stuck his head in.

The old lady who was apparently the math teacher stopped her lecture to look at him. "Can I help you young man?" Long curly grey hair fell in wisps over her thick glasses, she looked like a teacher who would be teaching fifty years ago, still wearing the long dress...With an apron over it... (No joke, my teacher does...)

Kai dragged Zelda over so he wouldn't be the centre of attention... Which was hard since all the girls were drooling over him. "Um... We're late..."

It went very quiet, the teacher stared at him until her glasses slid down her nose making her seem even more scary then she already was. She pointed to Zelda. "Come here my girl."

Zelda looked to Kai for help, but he just shrugged. She sighed and walked over. "Yes Mrs...?"

"It's Mrs. Lockhart." She placed her hands on Zelda's shoulders. "Let me guess... That young man over there forced you to be late right?"

Zelda had swirly eyes. "No actually-"

"Good child, go sit down now!" She pushed her towards an empty desk. "As for you..." She turned to give Kai 'the look'. "Go down to the office now!"

Kai inched out the door slowly. "Yeah... Sure..."

Before he closed the door, a text book came flying towards his head. "Yikes!" He ducked as the book made a lovely arch over him. "Did the teacher just throw a fucking text book at me...? Meh..." _I wonder how Link's fairing..._

**Mean while... In English**

"Then after that you read the instructions... And after reading the instructions you read the instructions... Then follow them... Then read the instructions..."

Link banged his head on the desk for the thirtieth time in the last fifteen minutes. The English teacher was an elderly man, why he wasn't in a old people home was beyond anyone. Link was starting to believe he had something wrong with his memory.. Because he kept on repeating himself. The class wasn't even paying attention to him, they were all talking to friends... Catching up on the news... etc. The teacher was attempting to start a conversation on the play Julius Caesar, he didn't seem to notice that he didn't have any of the class's attention.

A boy with messy black hair and deep ocean blue eyes leaned over to talk to him. "Hi there..." He voice was low and husky, almost like a growl, and he drawled out the end of it. He had the whole 'emo' look going on, all black clothing, black eye liner pale skin...

Link smiled back brightly. "Hello yourself."

The boy leaned closer, entering Link's personal space. "My name's Shigen, what's yours?"

"It's Link." He backed away a bit. "Is this teacher going to repeat the same thing over and over again?"

Shigen smiled, his teeth were filed into fangs. "Yeah... He was like this all last year too."

"So you're in grade eleven?"

"Damn straight... You know that rebellious stage? I'm determined to give my parents hell by failing all of my classes."

The hero laughed nervously. "Well that's nice of you."

Shigen raised a hand and placed it on Link's cheek. "You know... You have really pretty eyes... They're full of wisdom... And courage... And they're so blue..."

Link flinched away. "Um.. Thanks..."

Shigen ignored the flinch and slid closer to him, his mouth just inches from the ex hero. "You smell delectable... Did you know that...?"

Link could feel his warm breath on his face. "Delectable?" It almost came out as a squeak.

Mr. Emo moved in closer. "Yes... Good enough to eat..." Their lips were just centimetres away...

"What the hell are you doing?"

Both the boys jumped away from each other, finally coming back to reality. The whole class was looking at them, some had nose bleeds, and some were drooling. Link turned to look at the person who yelled.

Kaiten stood in the door way of the room, the anger rolling off him in waves. He made his way through the desks and came to stand behind Link.

"Then read the instructions and write down the following... Then read..." (My teacher is actually like this...)

"What the hell were you doing to my brother?" Kai glared at the emo kid, a crimson tint appearing in his eyes.

Shigen shrugged. "I was obviously hitting on him..."

The bell rang, no one moved from their seats.

Kai looked from Shigen, then to Link who was obviously embarrassed, his cheeks glowing red. Kai took it the wrong way of course...

"Link you are so gay!"


	4. Lunch time Fun

**Chapter 4: Lunch time Fun**

"So you skipped math on your first day Kai?" Link gave his twin a questioning look. They were walking down the crowded hall ways on their way to the cafeteria. People bumping into them as they passed.

Kai let out a very exaggerated sigh. "I didn't skip... The teacher just went crazy banana's on me." He accidentally pushed a girl who had been in close range with her boy friend, making their lips touch in a forced kiss.

The guy smiled at him a mischievous look in his eyes. "Thanks."

"Just doing what I can to help!"

They finally made it into the cafeteria, which by this time was very crowded. They pushed through the crowd, sitting at one of the last open tables. Link took out his lunch box, Kai rolled his eyes.

Link raised an eyebrow. "What? You forget your lunch?" He mixed the Catalina sauce into his salad taunting the shadow.

"No..." He tilted his head in the direction of the doors. "Looks like the princess needs saving again." He grabbed the salad as Link turned to look. _Sucker..._

Link stood up a made his way to the distressed princess, she must have been looking for a place to sit when she bumped into a senior. The girl was yelling at her, looking to scratch the poor Zelda's eyes out. He was just about there when the girl abruptly stopped and was dragged away by her friends. Link watched as a huge path was cleared to make way for the person at the front of the room. _Oh_ _Snap..._

Shigen wrapped an arm around Zelda's waist pulling her close, a huge smile spread over his face when he noted the avoiding crowd. _That's right... Fear me... _

Zelda glanced up at him. "Thanks..."

There were tears in her eyes, Shigen snorted. "You're welcome... Just don't cry on me okay...?" He spotted Link in front of him. "Hey there sexy..."

Link blushed. "Yeah, well I can see you have every thing under control here, so I'm just gonna leave now..." He began backing away.

Shigen strode over and wrapped his free arm around around Link's waist and held him snugly against him. "Now, now sexy... Where do you sit...?"

Both Link and Zelda squirmed trying to get away. "I'm siting with Kai and he doesn't like you, so you shouldn't-

"I'm sure he won't mind to much, I'm bringing the demon an offering." He jostled the girl that currently occupied his left arm.

Link narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out if the black clad teen was joking, or if he seriously knew the truth about Kai.

Dark blue eyes twinkled back at him knowingly.

They didn't say anything and instead looked for Kai who was still sitting at the table in the middle of the room where Link left him, but now he was surrounded by a bunch of fan girls.

As soon as Shigen approached, they dissipated. "Hey Kai... I come bearing gift's..."

He placed the now red in the face princess on his lap.

"I don't mind finding somewhere else to sit." She said a prayer, hoping he would let her go.

Kai gently placed her at the place beside him. "You should stay here, you don't look to popular with the fan girls right now."

She glanced behind her, going rigid as the glares of at least fifty girls glares bore into her skull. "Yeah, you're right."

Shigen released the squirming Hero, who sat on the other side of Kai, and then Shigen took his place beside Link.

"Kai... Did you steal my salad you bastard?" He gave Kai the 'if looks could kill' glare, then snatched his milk back from Kai.

Shigen leaned over Link. "Friends... in sixty seconds you should all duck and hide under the table..."

They all looked at him with wide eyes. "Why?" Link asked him leaning away from him.

Instead of answering, Shigen ducked under the table, dragging Link with him.

Kai growled under his breath. "Link, go get laid somewhere else." _And with me, not him._ He turned to look at Zelda who had just disappeared under the table with the others. _What...?_

"FOOOOOOOOOOOD FIGHTTTTTTTT!" It was Dave who yelled. Kai vowed to kill the kid after school.

Soon after the big announcement, the food went flying everywhere. The teachers acting smart for once, bolted out the cafe. The cafeteria lady's shrugged and decided to get some of the action, throwing Tuesday's surprise at every helpless victim they could find.

"Shit!" Kai ducked the plate of spaghetti that was aimed for his head. "To bad Hyrule didn't have soldiers like these guys back then.. They have really good aim..." He too ducked under the table. "It's like a fucking war zone out there!"

Shigen nodded. "The annual food fight ceremony... They did this last year..." He pulled the scowling Link closer.

"Kai... Can you please help me get this guy off me?" He shot the shadow a desperate look.

"He's your boyfriend, you tell him off." He sat down, getting comfortable.

"He's not my boy friend!" Link pushed the emo kid off him and squished himself into Zelda.

Zelda whimpered. "Um guys? I can't breath." She was squished between Link and Kai.

The bell rang signalling the end of lunch, but no one seemed to hear it as the fighting continued.

"Is this ever gonna end?" Kai asked, his eyes drooping. Waking up too early was starting to catch up with him.

Shigen let out something that sounded almost like a chuckle. "Not until they run out of food..."

"You're so weird..."

"You're one to talk..." Shigen narrowed his eyes. "For one who is surrounded by shadow... You fake emotions because you don't have any... and like sexy here... You're very old... The feeling reminds me of when I walk up to one of the older buildings around here..." He nuzzled Link's neck.

Kai' mouth was hanging open. "What the hell are you?"

Mr. Emo smirked but didn't answer.

The noise level in the cafeteria was dying down. People had begun running out of food to throw, and most were quickly making their way to their next class, or the nearest shower...

Link decided to take advantage of the position he was in. "Hey Shigen? Do you think you could walk Zelda to her next class? Me and Kai have to go to art." He fluttered his eye lashes like he'd seen the people in the movies do.

Kai muttered something that sounded like._ "Who's the man whore now...?"_

Shigen smiled and nuzzled the elf again. "Sure sweet heart..."

"Thanks!" He grabbed Kai's hand and dragged him out of the cafeteria at top speed.

When they stopped, Kai turned on him. "You are so gay!" He pointed a finger at Link who looked like he was about to bite it off.

"It was the best thing I could think of, come on! we need to get to class." They both walked towards the art room, where Link had somehow found without breaking a sweat. Comically on their way, they saw many people cleaning food off their clothes.

They walked into the room five minutes late. The teacher, who was a middle aged women with long black hair, glasses, and a face that resembled a hawk stood at the front of the room taking attendants.

Sitting down at the table in the back, Both brothers fell into their chairs with a sigh.

"Ok every one! I'm Mrs Hawks!" The teacher yelled in a voice that very appropriately fitted her name and description. "I know ninety five percent of you are here because the hardest thing you'll have to draw in this class is a toothbrush!" She paused to take a breath. "And the other five percent will be a subject of bullying because they are trying to get the credit!"

Some people laughed. The bullies most likely.

"Even though it's useless to ask this of kids your age, please try not to kill each other, or over dose on drugs in my class! And don't bother hiding the drugs because I know this is the class that has been dubbed the 'druggie class' so it doesn't matter to me!"

Kai's face, which could only be described as O.O, began to twitch. He turned to Link. "Every one's on freaking crack here... Literally!" He gestured to the table next to them where a bunch of people had gathered around to deal various types of drugs. (Seriously... They asked me if I wanted to buy some once...)

Link the fearless hero of time, actually looked scared. "Kai? When did we die? Why are we in hell? I can understand you going to hell... That salad probably tasted good... You're so mean... But me? I'm too good for hell!" He hit his head against the table.

The teacher turned on the overhead. "Now how many of you are high right now?" She asked this question like it was completely appropriate.

Everybody except Link and Kai raised their hands.

Mrs Hawks clapped her hands together. "Excellent! I always love doing this to my grade tens on the first day!"

When the screen turned on behind her, the board was covered by an optical illusion.

The whole class broke out into ooooo's and awwwwws.

One guy stood up. "Mrs! I know what it is!"

"Yes dear?"

"It's a donkey screwing a whale!"

"That's exactly right! Good job!" She changed the picture, revealing a intense and complex one.

A girl fell to the floor and began twitching.

Some started screaming saying they were being chased by a monster.

Other people just sat there staring and screaming with swirly eyes.

Mrs Hawks stood there, looking like she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

Kai looked at Link, real fear almost gracing his features. "You're the hero! Save us!"

* * *

There you go! And if you're wondering... Yes my art teacher pulled out the optical illusions on a day that most of my class was high... My school is nuts...


	5. Cooking?

**Chapter 5: Cooking?**

Thank you to all the reviewers so far!

Man I really want to do a Link and Dark Link pairing... Is it just me.. Or when you become a yaoi fan girl, you find yourself saying stuff like "eww a guy and a girl in a relationship?" Zelda/Link used to be my favorite, but now I can't even read fanfics on this pairing...

* * *

Link and Kai slid into the car and collapsed into a heap.

After a few moments of long silence, Link turned to glare at his supposed brother. "We will never do this again, nor speak of it. I believe I'm going to need therapy for a while..."

Kai didn't open his eyes, instead he curled up into a ball on the seat. "Oh come on, history wasn't too bad! And your boyfriend or the princess aren't in that class, so you don't have to worry about them."

"Call him my boyfriend one more time, and I'll send you back to Ganondorf with a ribbon tied around you." He jammed the key into the ignition, started the car, and drove it out of there as fast as he could. He bit his lip to hold in the laugh as he watched the shadow flailing around trying to retrieve his seatbelt.

"Stupid hero! Slow down!" He finally managed to buckle the seatbelt, he reached up and grabbed the 'holy shit' handle, and held on tight.

How they managed to speed down the highway and not get noticed by the police was a mystery to both of them, but they some how found themselves in their driveway in less then five minutes still alive.

Kai's hands looked like they were permanently stuck to the holy shit handle, his eyes were wide and his breathing was laboured.

Link ruffled his hair, he was completely calm. "Hey Kai, I thought you had a need for speed?" _heh, he looks scared... Wait he's showing emotion? Actually, he showed a lot of emotion today, I wonder if it's real, or if he's faking it again._

Once Kai got his breathing under control, he turned to look at Link. "Yes I have a need for speed... But I never said I have a need for death!" _Note to self... Get a car for me to drive..._

Link laughed at got out of the car.

Kai followed, his expression sulky. "Hey, weren't we supposed to get something called homework? You know... The stuff that the teachers give you, but no one understands it, so you don't end up doing it in the end.?"

"Are you telling me you want to do that stuff? Isn't it the bane of every teenager's existence?" He opened the door, contemplating whether or not he should lock the shadow out for the night. "Don't you use all of your spare time playing video games? Fire fantasy or something like that..." He shrugged.

Kai walked into the house before Link had a chance to turn and lock the door, he stopped and looked at the hero. "It's Fire emblem, and Final fantasy! Get it right! And what do you do in your spare time? Read?"

"No... I sleep!" He ran up the stairs, which was a lot of freaking stairs. "And that's what I'm going to do right now!"

Kai pounced on him, throwing them both on the stairs, and knocking the breath out of Link. "Come on Linky pooh! Come play video games with me! Besides, if you go to sleep now, you'll be really tired at school tomorrow!"

"I'm not going back there!" He wiggled and tried to get free, but Kai wasn't allowing that.

"But it was fun! And you got a new boy friend and you got to see a reincarnated Zelda!" He moved so Link could roll around to face him, but kept him pinned.

"The teachers are scary and I'm sick of being chased by fan girls." _Damn you.. Let go of me! Where's a sword when you need one?_

Kai leaned in so his face was centimeters away from Link's. "Say you're going, or I'll kiss you..."

Link's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare..."

"Wait, have you even had your first kiss?" He licked his lips, attempting to scare the hero even more. It worked, he could hear Link's heart thumping loudly.

"Yeah, of course I have. It was with... Zelda! A long time ago! Can you get off me now?"

"Are you going to school tomorrow?" _I really hope his answer is no._

"What if I told you I was, but then decided not to in the morning?" _Damn stairs digging into my back!_

"Then I'll kiss you tomorrow." He was really smiling now. "Once again, a win win situation for me."

Finally Link began to blush. "You're really evil, you know that right?"

Kai chuckled.

He sighed. "Fine I'll go tomorrow, happy now?"

Kai nodded his head. "I'm still going to kiss you anyway."

Link's eyes widened. "Wha-

Kai closed the space between them. There was no tongue, poor Link would have had a heart attack. And much to Kai's displeasure, it was very short.

They stared at each other for a few awkward seconds. Kai smirked again. _Mission to steal first kiss, success. How long did I start this one? Like fifty years ago? Jeez..._

"Kai, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not gay!" Link threw his shadow off him and ran up the stairs and into his room, locking the door behind him.

Kai slid down the stairs laughing. _Well at least he didn't kill me..._

**Two hours later... So like 5:00...**

"Link come on! I'm hungry! You need to cook dinner!" Kai continued to pound his fist on the door.

Link had refused to come out of his room after the stairs incident, he locked himself in and he was either sleeping or pouting, Kai couldn't tell.

"Go cook your own damn food. I'm not coming out." His voice came out muffled, like he was suffocating himself in a pillow.

Kai growled then stalked off towards the kitchen grumbling. _Fine I will! Hope I don't burn the house down!_

He took out a box of pasta from the shelf, and some frozen hamburger from the freezer. "Ok, he puts the noodle-y things in a round thing and fills it with water... It didn't look so difficult when he did it... But he's Link... Nothings hard for him."

He took out a frying pan and filled it with some water, then placed the noodles in. "Um, how come the water's not bubbly? Do I need to say some kind of incantation?" He looked at the stove. "Oh right!"

After he placed it on one of the burners, he stood with his arms crossed and stared at it.

Ten minutes later, he finally clued in. "That's right I'm supposed to turn the knobs..." He switched all the knobs on and waited again.

Soon the water started to boil. "Damn straight! I rule! Now for the hamburger... So I need another round thing..." He pulled out a pot. "Yep, this will do."

He put the still frozen hamburger in the pot and placed it on the now red burner beside the noodles.

Shaking his head in approval, he went to search the shelves again. "Now for some sauce." He took out a big can of spaghetti sauce and put it in the microwave, setting the timer to three minutes. "That should do it!"

**To Link's room!**

Link was not pouting, or sleeping, he was just laying on the bed and relaxing. He could hear Kai talking to himself in the kitchen. Having enhanced hearing enables you to do stuff like that. _As long as I don't smell smoke... He can stay in the kitchen as long as he wants... I hope he doesn't hurt that new deep fryer I got..._

All hope were shattered when Kai yelled. "Link? Why is the oven on fire?"

_Oh shit... _"Kai did you take the deep fryer out of the oven before you turned it on?"

There was a loud banging sound, telling him Kai had slammed himself into Link's door. "What the fuck is a deep flyer?"

"A tool used for cooking! You know! It has stuff like oil in it! And it's made of metal! I put it in the oven because there's no room on the shelves, you have to much junk food." He stood up and when quickly to the door but didn't open it.

Kai was quiet for a second. "Um... No..."

Link threw the door open. "Kai you moron!" He ran for the kitchen, grabbing the fire extinguisher on the way.

"It's your fault for letting me in the kitchen!" The fire alarms went off, the high pitch sound forced both of them to cover their ears.

Kai walked into the kitchen which was now completely in flames. "What the fuck is the stupid ringing sound?"

"Just shut up and call 911!" Link yelled back, still battling the fire.

"What's their number!" He started to flip through the phone book.

"Kai please tell me you didn't say that! Their number is 9-1-1!"

"Oh, well how ironic is that?" He dialled the number anyways. "Hello? Hi there, I have a bit of a problem... You see I accidentally caught my house on fire.. You're sending help? Good! My address? I don't know... My brother is the one who remembers all that... Listen just look for a house that is currently up in flames! It's not hard to miss! They're shooting out of a window that just exploded a second ago."

Link grabbed his shirt and tugged. "We have to get out! Are they sending help?"

Kai answered him in a monotone. "Yes hero... Now calm down..."

Link glared. "Good, let's go."

"But Dr. Phill is coming on in a few minutes!"

He went to make a run for the living room, but Link put him in a choke hold. "Would you just get out of the damn house!"

**A few hours later...**

Luckily, only the kitchen was seriously damaged in the end. The fire men had advised Kai to stay out of the kitchen until he learned how to cook, and then they left him with a very pissed off Link.

Link sat down on the couch in the living room and placed his head in his hands. They had gotten burn a little while his was trying to kill the fire, but it was nothing serious. The paramedics had wrapped it up before they left.

Kai took a seat beside him, not daring to get to close. "Hey... Are you.. alright...?" He grabbed a hold on one of Link's burned hands and gave it a gentle kiss, giving the hero his best puppy-dog eyes.

When Link didn't respond he started to get nervous. _Ok... Now I'm dead..._

He was really surprised when Link wrapped his arms around him in a hug, his shoulders were shaking a bit. _Is he crying? Great... He snapped.. Again..._

But instead of hearing crying sounds, his ears caught the sound of muffled laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?"

Link removed his head from Kai's shoulder to look at him. He did have tears in his eyes, but they were tears of laughter. "_This _is what happens when you try to _cook_?"

This time he laughed out loud.

Kai glared. "I am so ordering Chinese."


	6. Nicknames?

**Chapter 6: Nicknames?**

Link stirred in his sleep, something in the back of his mind was telling him to wake up. So the reluctant hero opened his eyes only to find the sun glaring down at him. _Damn light... I wonder what time it is..._

He was going to turn around to find the answer to the question, but he was... Unable to...

"I...Hate...Pink...Puppies..."

_Who the hell is in my bed? Wait... Kai's the only other person in this house... _Link gulped, then started wiggling. "Kai! Let go! And get out of my bed!"

Kai was snuggled into Link's back, his head resting between his shoulder blades, his arms were circled around him, hugging the hero into his chest.

"But I want the blue one..."

"What does that have to do with being in my bed?" He grabbed the shadow's hands and slid away from the appendages that had held him captive.

"But Ganny.." Kai released Link and rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow still mumbling.

"I do not want to know what he's dreaming about..."

The door bell rang, echoing loudly through the half empty house. Not to mention scaring the crap out of Link...

"Jeez, who would come to our house..." He paused to look at the clock. "8:00... Good an hour and 15 minutes before school starts, not that I have any intention of going there."

He walked out of the bedroom, down the 'evil' stairs (He has bruises from where they had into him) and to the front door.

Link took a deep breath and opened it. "Hello?"

It was Shigen who stood on the other side, back pack slung over one shoulder casually like it was perfectly normal to show up on peoples door steps in the early hours of the morning.

"Good morning sexy..." His eyes slowly raked over Links half naked body body.

"Um, what are you doing here? Wait... How do you know where I live?" He fought back the urge to run into his room and hide. _Well if Kai's in there, I guess I'll hide in the bathroom..._

"Well you see... I have this... gift... and it allows me to see... future events... and I saw that today you would purposely let Kai sleep in so you could stay home... We can't have that now can we...? And also... how's your kitchen holding up after Kai's cooking adventure...?

"We have to rebuild everything, fortunately it only got the kitchen..."

"And I thought my sister was a bad cook... anyway..." He smirked then placed a hand on Link's shoulder. "Sexy... May I ask why you don't have any clothes on?"

All color drained form Link's face. "Wha...?" He looked down, and sure enough, he was only in his boxers." (They're blue with yellow duckies on them)

Shigen's finger traced a small circle on Link's neck. "And did he give you this love bite...?"

The color returned to his face, forming a deep blush. "What love bite?" _He wouldn't..._

"This one sexy..." He poked the spot.

"We didn't do anything! He must have done that while he slept!" _Or he drugged me..._

"Do I hear denial...?"

"No! I..." He turned and ran to the bottom of the stairs. "You demon!" he called up to Kai as loud as he could.

Kai's loud snore answered him.

Shigen was right behind him, now running a finger down his back. "Rough was he...?" He slightly prodded the bruise.

Link cringed as Shigen's sharp nails scratched over his sensitive bruises. _Damn evil stairs_! "You know what? Let's just forget that this all happened!"

Shigen smirked then nodded.

"You go sit in the living room while I get dressed. Do. Not. Come. Up. Stairs." He bolted up the stairs.

Shigen waved as the elf disappeared. _Where the hell is the living room?_

**Upstairs!**

Link threw the door open and glared at the lump that was currently residing in his bed. With a wild battle cry he threw himself at the shadow causing them both to roll off the bed and onto the floor.

Kai's eyes shot open. "Where's the fire! Damn sauce came back to haunt me! I swear I'll never set foot in the kitchen again!" He covered his head with both his arms and whimpered.

Link growled and flipped on top of him, then pinned poor Kai's arms to the floor above him. "Why the hell is there a love bite on my neck? And why the hell were you in my bed?"

Kai blinked, finally realizing that it wasn't the sauce monster that was after him. "Oh right..." He laughed nervously. "Well I felt bad about hurting you yesterday, so I started nibbling on your neck, I guess I was hoping it would keep the nightmares away heh heh... And it's just that you tasted so good... that I couldn't stop."

_He can't really care that much, he's a demon, he doesn't have any emotions... _"Ok... Now for the bed."

"Yeah, I was kind of scared... You know? It was like the stuff in that kitchen came to life! I could have sworn I created a noddle demon or something!"

Link sighed. "Whatever, just never come in my room again! It's off limits!"

"But Link... You smell so good! And you're really warm." He paused and then lifeted his his head, kissing the clueless hero gently, and then using his fangs to suck and nibble on his lower lip.

Much to Kai's surprise, Link let out a barely audible moan before turning his head to the side, out of the shadow's reach. "Will you stop doing stuff like that? I told you I'm not interested."

"Yeah sure you aren't hero." He wiggled his hips against Link's, not missing the way he gritted is teeth to try to hold back another moan. "Oh and can you let go of me now? I never thought you would be a topping kind of guy... You look more like a bottom to me."

"How did this turn into a conversation about my sexual preferences?" He let go of Kai and stood up, slapping his red cheeks.

"Nice boxers...Mr. Virgin..." He ducked as Link grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

"Would you please stop calling me that? It makes me want to punch cute things... Like puppies."

Kai's mouth fell open in horror. "You would punch puppies? You're worse then me Link!"

Link shrugged then grabbed Kai's hand trying to force him to his feet. Kai had other idea's though... He yanked his hand back with the hero still connected to it, Link lost his balance falling on top of his darker self.

"What are you doing Kai?" He tried to stand back up, but Kai quickly wrapped his arms around his neck preventing that.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm playing with you hero." He smirked and gently brushed his lips against Links for the second time that morning, this time being bold enough to slid a hand down the hero's chest where it made teasing circles around his abs. _Dear Goddesses he's ripped, well I do mirror him so I am too, but still, it's easier to appreciate them when they're attached to such a sexy hero._

Link pulled away and glared at the shadow, his voice was shaking as he spoke. "Did you not hear what I said before?" _You'd think after 5000 years he would give up..._

Kai kept very little distance between them as he spoke. "Then why does your heart speed up every time I kiss you?"

"Because you scare me."

_Well that was blunt... _"If you think the last two kisses were bad, just wait until the next one... I'm using tongue."

"No you are not, because there won't be a next time."

Kai released his hold. "Just wait hero... Now go get some clothes on before I molest you."

Link stood up and walked over to the dresser, mumbling something that Kai couldn't make out.

"Just to tell you... Shigen's down there..." He put on jeans and a green top. "Go change.."

"Is he stalking us?"

"I think so yeah..."

Kai stood and walked out of the room, but Link still heard the next comment. "What a creeper."

**And now downstairs... It's like... 8:30 just to tell you...**

"Kai... Sexy... If you two don't hurry up... You will be late..." Shigen muttered to himself at the bottom of the stairs, little did he know... the two elves could hear him.

Kai slid down the stair railing on his feet. "Bonzai!"

Shigen watched as Kai landed but he couldn't stop him self from running and he hit wall.

_Perhaps I will call him... not sexy... _He shook his head then helped the swirly eyed shadow to his feet. "Is your face Ok...? I'm not particularly concerned with your head... For it has nothing of value inside..."

Kai glared at him. "Good morning to you too emo."

"Where is sexy...?" He leaned against the now dented wall.

"Would you stop hitting on him, he doesn't like you. Besides I've been trying to get him since... Well for a long time.."

Shigen chuckled. "Don't worry... I don't want him... I just call him that because he is sexy... I eventually give everyone nicknames..."

Kai finally relaxed now that he knew it was just a nickname, and nothing more. "So... What's my nickname?"

"Well... I'm stuck between... Obnoxious bastard... Pyromaniac... Albino...Sora..."

"Ok stop right there! Albino?" He tugged at his silver hair. _I do have red eyes... _"Pyromaniac? Listen, the noddle demon started the fire.. not me. And who the hell is Sora?"

"She's my sister... You obviously have the same range of cooking skills as she does..."

Kai crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't like any of those... So pick another!"

"Hmmm... Well I do happen to like that one that sexy calls you... It fits with your aura..."

"And what's that?"

"Shadow..." Shigen poked said shadow's nose.

"You guys didn't kill each other yet?" Link was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at them with raised eyebrows.

"Nope!" Kai ran over and hugged him. "We were just discussing names. What took you so long?"

Link pulled the car keys out of his pocket and held them up. "I was looking for these."

Shigen opened the front door. "You guys wouldn't mind giving me ride to school would you...? If you don't... I'll have to walk.. and that will make me late..."

Kai snatched the car keys away from Link and threw them to Shigen. "You know how to drive?"

He nodded.

"Good! Let's go then!" He dragged the hero out the door with him.

They all piled into the car. Kai sat up front with Shigen, and Link sat by himself in the back. The moment they pulled out of the driveway, Kai regretted his decision.

"Stop! I think you hit an old lady back there!" He was once again latched on to the holy shit handles.

Link was trying to grab one, but every time he got close, Shigen would turn the car so sharply that he would go flying to the other side. (he has no seatbelt on)

"She'll live...Hopefully..." He was enjoying this.

The car ran over a large sounding bump.

Kai looked at Shigen. "Was that a cat?"

"Probably..."

Link grabbed hold of Kai's seat. "Do you even have your drivers license?"

Shigen laughed. "No..."

They hit another large bump.

"Fuck that was a dog! You killed a dog!"

He shrugged and pulled into the school parking lot. "Maybe he should have stayed off the road..."

"Um actually-" Link started, but his face hit the back of the seat as Shigen slammed on the breaks. "Grr, You were on the side walk! You drove _through_ the park! Were are all the police?" He had to help Kai pry his hands of the handle.

"Maybe they were at TimHorton's..."

Kai shook his head. "No, it's more like they were avoiding you... And I thought Link was bad..."

"Hey!"

"Sorry love, but it's true."

The bell rang. They all sat in the car.

Link groaned. "Oh crap."

Kai turned to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"Well... We all forgot out book bags at home..."

Shigen hit his head on the steering wheel, a loud honk soon followed. "How did I not see that one coming...?"

Link and Kai sighed in unison.

"Well... Shall we skip school today...?"


	7. Hungry teachers are a bad thing

**Chapter 7: Hungry teachers are a bad thing**

"Well... Shall we skip school today...?"

Link shook his head. "No! We should just go back and get our stuff, come back to school, and then explain to the teacher why we were late..."

Shigen laughed and whacked his head against the steering wheel again. "Do you know what those teachers eat for lunch...?"

Kai shivered, his eyes were wide with fear. "No... What?"

Shigen lowered his head so that his bangs fell over his eyes, shadowing them from view. "They say the teachers eat naughty teenagers who come in late for class... With a bad excuse..."

Link rolled his eyes and stared out the window.

"They say that the teachers have a giant pot down in the cellar... and when someone with a bad late excuse comes in... they tell them to wait for a few minutes after class..."

Kai whimpered and shivered again. "And what happens after that?"

"Well... When the teacher has the student all alone... It drags them down to the cellar through a secret passage behind a book shelf..."

"And then..?"

Link crossed his arms, bored.

"Then they tie the student to a poll while all the teachers dance around the giant pot... Singing and talking in the language known as teacher gibberish... And then when the water is boiled... the teacher's slowly lower you into the boiling water..."

Kai's eyes were big as soccer balls at this point.

"And after you're cooked..." He paused giving the moment dramatic effect. "They eat you...!" He jumped at Kai, looking as scary as possible.

Kai jumped back and let out a scream that would cause some people to question his masculinity.

Link almost jumped out of seat when he heard Kai's scream, and then covered his ears.

And some students who were out in the parking lot on their free class looked at the shiny car, with questions written all over their faces.

After a few seconds, Shigen laughed. "You should have seen your faces..."

Kai glared at him, then turned to face Link. "We are not going in there... I don't want to be boiled alive..."

"Kai, Shigen was just saying all that stuff to scare you! I can't believe you're stupid enough to believe him really..."

"Link... We are not going in there..."

"Then were do you suggest we go?"

Shigen turned the key, bringing the car to life. "Good... We're going to the beach... This will be fun..."

Link grabbed Shigen from behind before he could put the car in drive and dragged him into the back seat. "I think I'll drive thank you!" He jumped into the drivers seat and put his seatbelt on.

Kai poked his arm. "Do you have all emotions under control? Cause I really don't want to die... Remember that's what happens when your distracted by emotions and drive... People die..."

Link shrugged. "I guess we'll see." He backed the car up and drove out of the school property.

Kai sat with his face pressed up against the window. "So far, so good, no pedestrians or animals hit, and you're staying around the speed limit... Good job hero!"

"Oh shut up Kai... Or I'll purposely hit a puppy."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Try me.."

Shigen reached forward and turned the radio on, setting it on country.

Kai raised an eyebrow. "A emo who likes country music?"

"The emo is just a facade I use... Actually... I'm not even emo... I just like to wear black... Much like yourself shadow... And I like country music because it makes one feel many emotions all at one time... Like anger... Sadness... Happiness... And as a bonus... Most country songs tell a real life situation.. Their songs are written by people who experience these things... Well some of the time..."

"Well that's depressing.." Link replied pulling into the drive way. "We have to get our swim gear right? Let's go."

Shigen got out of the car. "Yes it certainly is... But my favorite songs are the ones about cancer... Let's just say..." He stopped and shook his head. "Never mind, it's not for a while..."

Kai turned to look at him. "What the fuck are you rambling about? Let's go!"

Shigen nodded. "Yes... You'll know eventually..."

**Five minutes later in Link's room**

Link silently cursed to himself as he changed into his swim shorts. _Well at least I don't have to go to school... What a crack house..._

"Hey Link!"

He turned his head when he heard Kai's voice, but he soon regretted that. "Kai? What the hell are you wearing?"

Kai was standing in the door way, dressed in a dark red bikini. He waved at Link seductively and winked.

Link stood there, eye twitching. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"You should see all the shit Shigen has in his bag! He gave me all kinds of lingerie to try on too, thought I'd get a kick out of your expression..."

Link quickly pushed Kai out the door and slammed it.

"What's wrong hero? You can wear it if you want!"

"I swear... Everyone is out to molest me..." _Why do the goddesses hate me?_

**In the car... 10 minutes later...**

"Shigen... You brought your bathing suit?" Link asked as they pulled out of the drive way for the second time that day.

"I told you... I can see some of the future.." He sighed as Kai changed the radio station.

"I like pop music! I wanna fuck you! You already know!"

Link glared at him. "That song is so stupid... Why can't you like classical music?

"Oh shut up fairy boy! Classical is for old people!"

Link changed it back to country. "Let's leave it on this shall we... I like the sound of country anyways."

Kai growled. "Two against one, that's no fair!"

"Oh just shut up and enjoy the ride."

"How can I enjoy it if I have to sit here and listen to songs about people getting rabies and dying?"

"It's cancer shadow..."

"Cancer? Rabies? Same difference!"

**25 minutes later... most of it being war between music preferences**

When they pulled into the parking lot at the beach, it was very empty.

Kai ran onto the sand, laughing and whooping.

Shigen looked at Link. "He gets excited easily..."

"It might have something to do with forgetting to give him his medication this morning."

"Well... Even if you did remember... It wouldn't help... They burned in the fire..."

"Come on you two! Get your asses over here!" Kai sat down and started building a sand castle.

Shigen stripped off his outer clothing and ran directly into the water.

Link placed himself beside Kai and stared after the human. "Wow... I can't believe he can do that... The water's freezing here."

Kai shrugged as he added some beach rocks to the castle walls.

"Aren't you going in?"

Kai's reply came out in a mumble. "You know I don't like water..."

"Oh come on... Just because you were locked away in a room with water and a dead tree...

"It's not that!"

"Then what is it?"

Kai jumped to his feet and walked towards the water. "Look hero!"

Link turned his gaze towards the water. He could see his reflection moving on the surface, disappearing whenever a wave broke against the shore. He looked at the spot where Kai's reflection should have been, but there was nothing there.

"You see? You have a reflection... I don't! I'm afraid of water because of that..."

"You're afraid because you have no reflection? What's so bad about that?"

Kai smirked. "It's like it's showing me that I don't exist in this world... And if I go into the water, It might swallow me and drag me to the shadow world or something, you could almost say I'm afraid of not existing..."

"You know.." Link chuckled and placed a hand on Kai's shoulder. "If you ever went under the water, I would come get you..."

Kai looked at him, Link knew what was coming next.

"Oh hero! I didn't know you cared about me so much!" Kai launched himself onto Link and they both fell into the water.

"No you stupid shadow! I was just saying that to cheer you up! It doesn't mean anything!"

Kai smiled at him and moved forward until his forehead was touching the hero's. "Still, thanks for saying that, you probably don't know how much it means to me."

Link stayed silent, he stared hard at his darker half, like he was thinking about something important. "Kai..."

"Hey love birds..." Shigen had somehow appeared beside them. "Are you two coming in or what? It's quite lonely out there by myself..."

Link glared at the teen for interrupting him but then yelped as he was touched by something underwater, he looked down at the thing that had just poked him in the side. A crab stared back at him, claws raised and blowing bubbles.

Link picked him up. "Hey there little guy."

Shigen's eyes widened before he swiftly moved away. "Sexy... Put that thing down..."

Kai looked at the crab, then looked back at Shigen. He took the sea creature from Link and held it towards the emo. "You don't like crabs?"

"Don't bring that thing anywhere near me..."

Kai nuzzled the crab affectionately. "How dare you call Edward a thing! He has a name!"

The crab was giving them the 'what the fuck?' look.

"I hope it pinches you..." Shigen ran back deeper into the water and swam away.

Kai gently placed Edward back under the waves and watched him make a run for his life.

"So emo's scared of crabs?"

"Kai don't torture him..."

"What do you fear hero?" Kai nuzzled Link this time.

"Not too much actually... ReDeads... Spiders... And other things..."

Kai turned and slowly started eased himself into the sea. "I'll have to remember that." He whimpered as the water hit his stomach. "You better get your ass in here hero."

Link sighed, then waked over and scooped Kai into his arms bridle style. "Kai you're really light... and do you know the best way to get use to cold water?"

"Let me guess.. You're going to show me?"

"Yep!" Link tossed the shadow into the air and watched as he hit the water with a big splash.

Kai surfaced and started yelling. "Fucking cold! Ass is currently numb! Along with other unmentionables! Fuck! Kill hero! Stupid water! Cold! Puppies!"

Link shook his head. "What the hell is so special about puppies?"

"I like them! And you better be getting me one!"

"Why?"

"Because you'll have to give me a sorry present, since I won't be able to use some body parts after this!" He flailed and tried to swim back to shore.

Link jumped into the water and swam next to him. "Just give it a few minutes, you're body will go numb and then it won't bother you."

"I don't know how to swim hero!"

"Well then just hold onto me and I'll swim for you."

Kai jumped on his back. "Giddy up!"

Link grumbled and started swimming.

**After many hours of swimming adventure.. I'm just too lazy to type what they did...**

Kai, Shigen and Link all lay on the beach staring up into the havens. The sun had set earlier, leaving only the night sky painted with stars to look at.

Shigen turned from the sky to look at the twins. "So what are you two planing to do once you graduate high school...?"

Link yawned. "Not too much really."

Shigen shook his head in agreement. "Yeah... me neither... Life's too short.."

Kai rolled so that he was on his side. "Is there anything you want to do?"

"Travel... I would like to see the world... It sounds so fascinating..."

Kai growled. "I think I'll be satisfied with life if I could just learn how to drive damn it."

"There's no hope for you there bro.."

"Thanks hero..."

They stopped when Shigen grabbed at his head with a muffled scream.

"You okay emo?"

Link flicked Kai's nose. "Stop calling him that." He turned to Shigen. "Got a headache or something?"

"Yeah.. That's right..." He continued to clutch at his head, but he smirked at them. "Don't worry... It's nothing... Just ignore me..."

The two elves didn't look convinced, but they complied for the time being and turned back to looking at the sky. It was covered with shooting stars.

"Look." Link gestured above them. "The goddesses are crying."

"Oh how poetic." Kai yawned like Link had earlier. "Shouldn't we be getting home now?"

"Yeah... School tomorrow..."

"Oh shut up Shigen!"

"Ok then sexy..."

Kai got to his feet. "Okay... Last one to the car has to make out with me!"

Link jumped up like his ass was on fire and raced towards the car.

Kai and Shigen looked at each other. "Don't even think about it emo."


	8. History lessons and visions

**Chapter 8: History lessons and visions**

"I thought I told you not to sneak into my bed anymore."

"But it's not like you cared! You were the one who snuggled up to me!"

"Why are we having this discussion in the middle of class?"

They were sitting in art class trying to ignore the druggies sitting next to them, talking about... drugs... The teacher had long ago given up on her lecture and had told them to start drawing. Anyone who drew something and _remembered_ to pass it in would get 100.

"Because it's not like anyone is coherent enough to understand what were talking about..." Kai gestured towards the guy sitting next to him, who was repeating the phrase 'I'm a pretty lady'.

"True but the teacher can still hear us."

"Um actually..."

They both looked towards Mrs Hawks who was spinning herself on the computer chair, giggling like a school girl. When she stopped, her eyes looked glazed over. "What the hell did they put in this coffee? It's some damn good shit!" She resumed her spinning.

Link shook his head. "You've got to be kidding me, why doesn't the principal do something about this?"

"It's just drugs Link. It's not like it will kill them."

"Kai, don't you watch Dr. Phill?"

"Yeah...oh... They're doing those kinds of drugs?"

"What the hell did you thing they were taking?"

"I thought they were just drinking alcohol."

Link sighed and laid his head down on the desk. "You're such an idiot sometimes."

"So... Link? Can I sleep in your bed from now on?"

"I really don't care anymore..."

"Good! Then I'll call Shigen over tonight and we can have an orgy!"

Link's head shot up. "What?"

"Oh come on, you have to admit, Shigen's really sexy... when he's not being a 'know it all' asshole."

"Kai I am not having this conversation with you." He bean throwing his stuff together as the bell rang.

Kai didn't even have his stuff unpacked, so he stood up and followed Link out the door. Watching the druggies trying to find the door was amusing. "True, we shouldn't, Shigen probably saw it coming... Weirdo... I bet he's laughing at me right now."

They entered the less formidable history class and took their seats at the front.

Mr. McNair was at the front of the room writing the day's lesson on the board. "Today we'll be talking about the Hyrulian race and their myths and legends.

Kai elbowed Link's ribs. "Hey, I wonder how much stuff they fucked up over the years."

"Well considering everything was written down in a book, they shouldn't get anything wrong."

"The Hyrulians were a very religious group, who believed they were created by the goddesses, Din, Nayru, and Farore. They had long pointed ears like that of an elf, and they were said to have used them to listen to the voices of the goddesses."

Kai smirked. "Not to bad so far."

"There is one famous legend that tells of a hero who was summoned by the goddesses to fight an evil war lord, his name was Zelda."

Kai began laughing so hard he fell over backwards in his chair.

The teacher glared at him. "Is there something wrong Kaiten?"

Link hid behind his textbook.

Kai quickly sat back in his chair. "No there's nothing wrong Mr. McNair, nothing at all."

"Good. As I was saying... The hero Zelda pulled out the legendary Goron sword from it's resting place and fought with the evil king Ganondorf, and won."

Kai was still trying not to laugh. "At least they got one name right."

"Then princess Impa married Zelda and restored peace to the world."

"Hey that's not a bad way to end a legend... Hot girl on girl action."

"Kai please, you're making this worse." Link was still hiding behind his text book.

McNair continued. "Any questions?"

A boy in the front raised his hand. "Sir? Isn't Zelda a girl's name? Because we have a girl named Zelda in our school."

"Yes well perhaps he was gay? Or his parents were... I'm not sure.."

Kai had to bite his tongue.

Link gave him a look that probably would have made Ganon run away in fear.

"What? I didn't say anything!"

"You were going to..."

"Now your assignment this week is to write a three paged report on 'the day in the life of a Hyrulian.' It's due on Monday. You may begin working on it now."

The classroom was quickly filled with quiet whispers.

Kai turned to Link. "So Zelda? How's Impa these days?"

Link whacked him with the text book.

**To the lunch room!**

Shigen was waiting for them at their table. Zelda was sitting next to him, trying to summon up the courage to eat the cafeteria food.

Link and Kai sat at the table a crossed from them.

"So shadow... I'm sexy am I...?"

Kai cringed. "Damn, I thought you would see that. Why don't you stop reading my future you stalker."

"I don't really mean too..." Shigen's expression was smug.

"Sure you don't..."

"Oh... That reminds me... When you get called to the office... I have to go with you..."

Link raised an eyebrow. "Called to th-

"Will Link and Kaiten Savior please come to the office now please?"

Kai shivered. "Link? Do you think they want to cook us up for lunch?"

"Well as long as they don't burn the school down... I'm fine with it.."

They all stood up and began the long trek to the office.

Zelda followed out of fear of the fan girls.

**To the office! I hate these things..**

"Oh thank goodness you came!" The secretary clapped her hands and smiled. "Oh and you brought others with you! Well the more the merrier!"

Kai jumped behind Link. "I don't want to be cooked alive! I swear I'll do my homework! I'll even finish my assignment tonight!"

The secretary giggled. "Homework? Who does homework around here? And I'm not going to eat you. It just so happens that you four are the only students in the entire school right now that aren't high!"

Link did a face-palm. "Wow... That's just really sad..."

She clapped her hands again. "I know right! Now! What I want you guys to do, is give our new student a tour around the school!"

"How are we supposed to do that? I still can't find my math class when I want to. I swear that crazy bitch of a math teacher put some kind of barrier around it." Kai stepped out from behind Link and shrugged.

"Just try your best dear! Now Mr Dragmire! Please come here!"

Shigen quickly put the twins in a choke hold and held on for dear life.

'Mr. Dragmire' was in fact a very younger looking Ganondorf. He looked nothing like the older man that had tried to take over the world years before. He looked quite normal... For guy with tanned skin, golden eyes, and spiky red hair.

"Ganondorf!" Link and Kai shouted in unison.

Ganondorf looked at them. "Um, yeah, if you two don't mind, it's just Ganon."

The secretary pushed them all out the door. "Okay kiddies! It's my alone time right now! So don't kill each other and have fun!"

Shigen still had a good grip on them as they walked out. "See... I told you I had to come..."

Kai growled at him. "Shigen! You don't know what the hell you're doing! He's evil! Now let me go so I can kill the fucking bastard!"

He released Link but used both arms to hold the shadow.

Link looked over to Ganon who seemed to be having a pleasant conversation with Zelda. _He didn't seem to recognize us at all... If Zelda was reincarnated... Could Ganondorf be reincarnated as well?_

Shigen licked Kai's cheek. "Calm down now, he's not who you think he is..."

Kai stopped struggling and wiped the saliva off. "Ew, that was sick. And how do you know about Ganondorf?"

Shigen rested his chin on Kai's shoulder."Well let's just say I had a vision in my dreams last night... This was different though... You and sexy were wearing dresses... And there was a big ugly man there named Ganondorf... You were fighting him..."

Link turned and glared at the emo. "They are tunics not dresses!"

"Sorry sexy... The vision was a bit foggy... Anyways... Can you two still use magic...?"

"Yeah... Wait! You can't tell anyone about us Ok?" Link looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Don't worry sexy... I'll be quiet..."

Zelda waved at them. "Hey you guys, don't worry about showing Ganon around, I can handle it!"

They all waved goodbye as she dragged Ganon off to explore the crack house.

Kai's stomach growled at the same time the bell rang. "Damn I didn't get to eat lunch.. Hey emo... you can let me go now."

Shigen released him and picked up his backpack. "Well I'm off to English class... Coming sexy...?"

Link nodded and followed.

Kai smirked then yelled out. "Shigen! You coming over for that orgy tonight?"

"Yep..."

Kai started jogging in a random direction looking for the math room. _I gonna have to bring a sword tomorrow... Ganondorf', reincarnation or not, is still Ganondorf... I don't think I can fit a sword in my school bag though... Too bad steel can't bend..._

**Later that night... **

Kai stood in front the door.

The door bell rang again.

"Kai would you just open the damn thing!" Link was in the newly remade kitchen cooking dinner. (man those construction dudes work fast)

"I saw a vision! And in my vision I saw that Shigen would be standing behind this door when I opened it! And his face would have the same blank expression as always! And he would speak in monotone!" He was talking loudly enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear clearly.

When he did open the door, Shigen was there, and he had the blank expression, and when he spoke, it was in monotone, but.. "There is one flaw in your 'vision' shadow... You're obviously a fake because you personally invited me to your house tonight... And since you guys are a bunch of loners... There is a very unlikely chance that it would be anyone else... So you already knew this was going to happen, and thus your vision is either fake or it really sucks..."

"Yeah, yeah emo... Just because I cant see hours into the future doesn't mean I can't see at least a few minutes. How far have you been able to see anyways?"

He pulled Shigen in and closed the door.

"I have seen a full twenty four hours into the future once... And that would appear to be the limits of my powers..."

They walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.

Link carried the food over and placed it in front of them. "There Kai, now shut up and eat. And Shigen... I bet if you trained hard enough you could see further into the future."

Kai started inhaling the food.

"That's okay sexy... I really don't want to see that far into the future...The future is always a scary thing to know..."

Kai choked on his mashed potatoes.

"Kai maybe if you slowed down while you eat-

"But I'm starving! I didn't eat breakfast or lunch! And I'll need a lot of energy for later tonight."

Link backed away nervously. "What are we doing again?"

"We're having an orgy remember?"

Link gulped.

"Don't worry sexy... He's not serious..."

"Good. You can never tell with Kai... He'll say one thing and mean another..."

"Indeed... So... May I ask where you learned to cook like this...?"

"I taught myself. You saw what happens when Kai cooks, and he eats like a cow too. So there has to be lots of food."

They both looked at Kai who was already on his third helpings. Inhaling it so fast it would make the god of wind jealous.

"I see what you mean..."

Kai looked at them. "What?"

Link let out a long sigh. "Nothing you ignorant child."


	9. Pink Puppies!

**Chapter 9: Pink Puppies!**

"No! I don't want to get up!"

Link tugged on the shadow's feet again. "But I already went and got Shigen, come on!"

Kai kept a firm grip on the headboard. "But it's the weekend! Why can't you sleep into ten like a normal person?"

"Kai, it's twelve in the afternoon! Now get up before I get serious." He ran a finger down the arch of Kai's foot, suppressing the smile that was forming on his face.

"Okay! Fuck off! I'm up!"

He let go of the head board, and with a yelp, Link fell backwards on his ass, dragging Kai with him.

"Ouch, why did you let go?" He shoved Kai off him, before Shigen could catch them in an awkward moment.

"You were tickling my damn feet Ok? That drives me crazy! For all you know... It could turn me on."

Link skited away from him. "I'm never touching your feet ever again..." He stood up and bumped right into Shigen who was standing in the doorway.

He looked at Link who was fully dressed, and then to Kai who was still in his boxers. "Pink puppies...?"

"Shut up!" He grabbed the bed sheet and wrapped it around himself. "You're a pervert, you know that?"

"Well I had to see for myself... The pink puppied boxers I mean... And I thought sexy's were weird..."

Link's face turned red. "What's so bad about my duckies?" He quickly went over to Kai and dragged him into the bathroom. "Come on Kaiten, time to get dressed!"

"You're going to watch me?"

"No..."

"Then why did you come in here with me?"

"Bec... Actually, I have no idea. I'll be leaving now." He stepped out of the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. "Meet us downstairs in five minutes. Any longer and we're leaving you behind."

"Yeah, yeah hero."

**And thus... Five minutes later...**

"Just wait! Let me go over this."

"Kai is it really necessary?"

"With your driving yes. Now! Everyone have seat belts on?" He buckled his, then looked at Link who nodded, the looked at Shigen in the back seat who also nodded. "Good! Now Shigen, is your hand grasped tightly around the holy shit handle?"

"That it is..."

"Good, now does anyone here easily succumb to heart attacks?"

Link sighed, and started the engine. "Would you give it a rest? I'm not a bad driver..."

No one said anything.

"Well at least I'm better than Shigen." He pulled out of the drive way and took a right.

"No argument there sexy..."

Kai started jumping up and down in his seat.

Shigen stared at him. "Is your ass on fire shadow...?"

"No! I just want to know where we're going! Link never leaves the house without a good excuse, he's such a vampire."

"Am not!"

"Shut up hero. Wait... Don't shut up! Tell me where we're going!"

"Seriously Kai... You make it sound like I'm going to take you somewhere bad."

"Are you?" Kai's eyes went huge with fear.

"No I-

"Link look out! Kid on the road!"

He slammed on the breaks, and they all watched as the car stopped a few feet away from the child.

"Jeez sexy... Way to keep your eyes on the road..."

The little boy looked up from the picture he was drawing on the road to them, he blinked a couple times before sticking his middle finger up and running off.

"Did that kid just tell me off?"

"Poor hero... That's just really sad."

"Shut up Kai!"

"Sexy... We're holding up traffic..."

"Crap." He stepped on the gas.

"Hero? All emotions under control?"

Link glared at him from the corner of his eye. "What the hell is with these nicknames? Hero! Sexy! Dumb ass! Blondy! You're both driving me crazy..."

Shigen reached up and tapped his shoulder. "Um... Sexy... slow down... It's right here..."

He complied and pulled into the parking lot.

"Link are you mad? Because if you are, I'm gonna start running now Okay?"

"I'm not mad Kai... Come on, let's go on an adventure!"

"Adventures, great, I can't wait..." The grumbling shadow got out of the car and followed Link into the store. "Why did you come again Shigen?"

"Because I was bored..."

"Nice." He had to do a double take when he walked through the door. "Why the hell are there animal everywhere?"

The two other teens stared at him blankly. "It's called a pet store for a reason Kai."

"Oh... Why are we in a pet store?"

Link almost fell over. "I give up! Didn't you say you wanted a puppy?"

"You're going to get me a puppy?" He huggled the elf, and then jumped on Shigen to give him a hug too.

Kai stopped nuzzling him and stared at him, his arms still around the emo's neck. "Why the fuck am I hugging you?"

"You got excited... Remember...? Puppies...?"

"Oh right!" He ran full tilt towards the puppy section.

Shigen looked at Link, obviously trying not to laugh. "Is he always... This hyper..?"

"Damn, I forgot to give him his medication this morning..."

Shigen chuckled. "It seems to be a reoccurring thing with you..."

"Link! Come look at all the cute puppies!"

Kai was standing in front of one of the pens, playing with a black colored puppy. "Isn't she cute?"

"No... Not really..."

"Shut up emo! Or I'll buy you a crab."

"That won't bother me..."

"It will when I shove it down your pants."

"Do that and I'll drown your dog..."

Link leaned back on the shelf behind him and sighed. "What a lovely atmosphere we have going on."

"Link? Are there any pink puppies?"

"There's no such thing as a pink puppy Kai, just pick one of the ones here."

"Can we have two?"

"No! Just one!"

"Oh fine... I want the black one then."

One of the staff people walked over to them. "Can I like, help you?" She winked at them.

"Yeah we want to buy the black puppy!" Kai was bouncing again.

"That's like, awesome! Just a sec, I'll get her for you. Why don't you like, pick out a collar and stuff?"

"Ok! Come on you two!" Kai happily dragged Link and Shigen over to the other part of the dog section, and after they had picked out a collar and all kinds of other dog stuff, they met the lady over at the counter.

She handed Kai the puppy. "You like, take good care of her Okay? And give her a nice name."

The puppy started licking Kai's face. (It's a black lab if you haven't guessed)

"Hey stop that, it tickles!"

Link payed for all the stuff, and they made their way back to the car.

"Link, you better drive slow... You wouldn't want to hurt our baby would you?"

Kai was sitting in the back this time so he could have more room for him and the puppy.

"Since when is the puppy our baby?"

The puppy barked, agreeing with him.

"Well we can't have kids of our own... Unless we find a chick willing to get knocked up with one of our kids, an-

"Just stop there shadow... We get it..."

"You are gay, right emo?"

"Yes... But the thought of your gene being passed onto some poor innocent child... Who will have to live the rest of it's life knowing that it's father is a moron... Depresses me..."

Link laughed out loud, and almost hit the car in front of him. "Good one Shigen. I should have thought of that."

"It's all in a days work sexy..."

They pulled back into the drive way. (Yes the pet store is like five minutes away from them... They're just to lazy to walk)

Kai quickly got of the car grumbling. "Thanks guys, I feel the love." He slammed the door behind him.

**Five hours later... Mostly filled with Kai playing with the puppy...**

They were all sitting in the living room after eating dinner, watching T.V even though there was nothing on... But really.. When is there ever anything on T.V? That's why they invented Internet...

They puppy was sleeping in a corner of the the room in it's new doggy bed. Twitching every so often and making whimpering noises.

The three guys were sitting on the couch, Link in between Kai and Shigen.

Ok enough description... You get the picture...

"Get him Inu-yasha! Punch his face in!"

"Kai, please settle down, you'll wake the puppy."

"So shadow... What did you name her anyways...?"

"Well if you guys hadn't been so mean to me, I would have told you sooner, but her name is Seun." (Say-oon... Galaxy in Japanese if you're wondering)

Shigen chuckled softly. "Seun... Isn't that cute...?"

"Stuff it emo! And Link... I haven't said thank you properly yet..."

"Pro-

Kai was already on top of him, his lips locked with the poor hero's.

Link didn't react at all, so Kai gently bit his lip, shoving his tongue in when his light's mouth opened in response. He explored the wet cavern for a few seconds, tasting him. _Yum... Watermelon._

Link finally came to his senses and pushed Kai off him. "What the hell was that for?"

Shigen, who had been going to take a drink at the time, snorted the pop out of his nose, then started having a laughing fit on the floor. _Why the hell didn't I see that one coming...?_

The puppy who had woken up from it's nap, came over to lick Shigen's face.

"I told you I would be using tongue next time... Did you know you taste like watermelons?"

Link was still sitting there, his mouth hanging open. "I still can't believe you did that.."

"Oh come on! It was bound to happen sometime!" He smiled when Link's face turned red. "So what do I taste like?"

"Um... Well... You taste like..." He muttered something under his breath.

"What was that hero? I didn't catch the last word."

"I said chocolate!"

"Awesome. To bad I can't taste my self.." _Chocolate, Link's one weak point... Score..._

They looked at Shigen who was still laughing and getting licked to death.

"What's so funny emo? I think that's the most emotion I've ever seen you show."

He sat up and cuddled the puppy, taking a few deep breaths before he spoke. "Sorry shadow... It just... You should have seen the look on sexy's face... And then I snorted all my pop out of my nose... That hurt really bad... But for some reason... It was funny as hell..."

Link coughed to hide a laugh. "You snorted all your pop out of your nose? Is that even possible?"

"Quite... It hurt a lot..."

They were quite for a few moments.

Kai hugged Link and snuggled his head into the crook of his neck. "I'm surprised you're not mad at me hero, have you finally fallen for me?"

Link stood and picked him up bridle style.

"What the fuck are you doing? Wait! Are we going to have that orgy we talked about?"

Link ignored him and carried him to the front door. He opened it, then threw Kai outside, locking the door behind him.

"Good night Kai, have fun with the raccoons."

He went back into the living room and sat down on the couch again.

"You want to know something strange sexy...? I kind of feel sorry for him..."

Link sighed and rubbed his temples. "Don't worry, it will only take him a few seconds to remember."

"Remember what..?"

As if an answer to his question, the room grew darker. Kai literally popped out of the floor, he was surrounded by shadows, and completely black. The only thing visible was his eyes which were glowing red.

Shigen and Seun both tilted their heads to the side in confusion. "Well that's awkward... Shadow... is that your true form...?"

Kai immediately changed back. "Oh shit! I forgot you were here!"

"It's fine Kai, he already knows about us remember?"

"Oh right..."

"Well you two... I believe it's time for me to go home..."

"Naw, it's Ok emo. You can stay here for the night." Kai bounced over to the couch and sat down again.

Link nodded his head. "Yes, I could use some protection tonight. Since Kai might try to rape me..."

"Damn straight... I mean! No I wouldn't!"

Both Shigen and Link stared at him with flat eyes.

The puppy barked happily.


	10. Purple daddy's

**Chapter 10: Purple daddy's**

"Do you think he'll kill me?" The voice was slightly muffled, and sounded full of anticipation.

"He's probably awake you know... Waiting for you to do something stupid. like right now." This voice was also muffled, but unlike the other, it sounded bored.

Shigen decided to block the two of them out. Sleep was more important right now. _Why the hell am I dreaming of those two anyways...?_

Something lightly tickled his nose.

_What the hell...?_

"Hehe... This is so fun! I wonder if this will get him up."

The tickling sensation was back, but this time running up and down his chest.

_This dream is getting a bit weird..._

"Link! This kid is ripped! Check out his abs!"

Now there was a prodding feeling on his stomach.

_Is he poking me?_

"No thanks... I don't think he would enjoy the thought of me molesting him in his sleep."

"I wouldn't mind that..."

"That's because you're some kind of pervert."

"The best kind hero. Wait! I know what will get him up!"

_Wait... Am I dreaming...? Or is..._

A wet tongue assaulted his face.

Shigen's eyes shot open. "What... The... Hell...?"

Blue eyes stared back at him.

"Good Seun! You got Mr. Emo up!"

The puppy started the assault on his face again.

"Ok shadow... Get the mutt off me..." He sat up and wiped the slobber off. _Eww... Puppy breath..._

Kai picked Seun up and snuggled her. "Any reason why you're not wearing a shirt?" He gestured towards the half naked Shigen. "Seriously... Do you want to be molested?"

"I can't sleep with cloths on... It gets too hot..."

"You do have pants on under that blanket right?" _Damn, his body is almost as drool worthy as Link's..._

"If I said no... What would you do...?"

"Well Link just went upstairs to get in the shower, so I'm sure we could have a quicky."

"I think not shadow..." He pulled the covers off to reveal the pants. "I'm dressed..."

Kai sighed then placed the wiggling puppy on the ground. "How old are you anyway?"

"I'm... 17... I told sexy that... My birthday's September 12..."

"Next Friday?" _Heh heh... this could be fun..._

"Why do I have the feeling it was a bad idea to tell you..."

"Because it was!" He stood up remembering something. "I'll be right back! Probably in many pieces.. But it's worth it."

He ran out of the living room top speed.

"What's he doing...?"

Shigen didn't have to wait long for an answer. The house was so empty that anything yelled out could be heard very clearly.

"Kai! Get the hell out of my shower!"

**Smack**

"You slapped me! Like a woman! You she-male!"

"I said out!"

"But I got undressed and everything!"

Shigen shook his head. _I believe there's something wrong with him in the head..._

Seun sat down in front of him and whimpered.

"You're parents are crazy..."

Kai re-entered the room, supporting a red cheek.

"Man he slaps hard... But a least I got to see him naked!"

Shigen quickly picked the puppy up and covered her eyes. "Shadow... Please.. For the sake of my sanity... Put some cloths on..."

Kai looked down, as if noticing for the first time that he was very indecent. "Oops."

Shigen shook his head. "This poor child will be warped by the time she's a year old..."

"She'll get used to it."

"Kai! Where are all my clothes?" Link sounded a _bit_ mad.

"They're all down here with me and Shigen! We were organizing them!"

"Bull! Tell me where they are Kaiten!"

"In the kitchen!"

Stomping footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.

Kai turned to Shigen smirking. "Want to see what a warrior's body looks like?"

"Actually... I'm quiet comfortable with my head being connected to my neck..."

Kai was already running into the next room.

"Let go of me Kai!"

"Nope! You're mine now smexy!"

Kai dragged Link back into the living room. The hero was wearing nothing but a small towel around his hips. It didn't cover much.

"Kai? Why are you still naked?"

"Because I didn't have enough time to get dressed." He stood behind the hero and hugged him from behind, pinning his arms to his sides.

Link's face turned completely red.

"Shadow... Let go of sexy... I have no desire to look at his body... I'm actually trying to get you two together... You know...? Boyfriends...?"

Kai eyes filled with tears. "Re-really?"

Shigen rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on. _Hmmm... They have an anime channel.._

Seun barked then snuggled up beside Shigen.

Kai nuzzled the back of Link's neck, gently nipping it with his fangs. "Well he's distracted hero, do you want to go back into my room?"

"I can't wait to kill you with my sword."

"Ooo Which one hero?"

Link cringed. "The one with a hilt and a poin- never mind!" He stomped on Kai's foot as hard as he could.

Kai let go of him with a yelp, giving Link the chance to run back up the stairs. "I'm wearing your clothes today!"

The shadow whimpered and massaged his now broken toe. _Link in black? Yumm... Link wearing my clothes... Even hotter..._

He stood up and limped towards the couch, taking a seat beside Shigen. "I can't decide whether he would be seme or uke..."

Shigen turned to look at him, a very bored expression on his face. "He would top..." He turned his attention back to the TV.

"Hmm... Dominant Link? That's a turn on."

"Yes... Well no one wants to see... Clothes... Now please..." Shigen motioned for him to leave.

"Oh you know you'd love it." He disappeared in a cloud of shadow.

Link walked in a few seconds later dressed in black jeans and a black T-shirt. "I swear one of these days I'm going to kill him."

Shigen couldn't help eye rapping him.

"What?"

"The emo look suits you sexy..."

"Yeah... Well it's only until I can find where Kai hid all my clothes."

Kai warped in font of him. "I'm not telling you where they are until you decide to go out with me!"

Shigen turned the volume up on the TV._ Host club... Save me from these idiots..._

Link crossed his arms over his chest. "Kai, would it kill you to accept the fact that I'm straight?"

"Yeah, straight as a circle."

"Circles aren't straight though..."

"Exactly! Either are you!"

"Prove it!"

Kai petted the angry hero. "You've had how many women hit on you in the last 5000 years? And not once did you show any interest in them."

"Maybe they weren't my type." He had to back away as his darker half's face moved towards his. _I wonder why I didn't feel anything for them..._

"And how come I can hear your heart speed up whenever I do something like this." Kai closed the space in between them. He nibbled on Link's lip, slipping his tongue in when the hero opened his mouth in response.

He was surprised when his light started kissing him back. His hands reached up and entangled their finger in silver locks, holding Kai firmly in place.

Kai shrugged and pushed Link until the hero's back hit the wall with a thump, and Kai somehow manage to slip a leg in between his without getting killed.

Shigen stared at them blankly. "Can you guys stop molesting each other for a second... Some one's here... Shit..."

Link pulled away when he heard Shigen's voice. _Damn chocolate... _"What did you say Shigen?"

Kai grumbled and held the hero closer to him. "Who ever it is, they can wait."

Shigen stood up and began looking for his shirt, his expression was changed from it's usual blank look, replaced with a worried one.

Link untangled himself from Kai and picked up the abandoned shirt laying on the chair. He handed it back to the panicked teen. "Shigen?"

Shigen whipped his shirt on and made his way to the front door. "It's my dad..."

Kai shrugged. "Is that supposed to be bad?"

"Yes... Why don't you two stay here...?"

When he was gone, Link and Kai looked at each other.

"See! You do like me!"

"You tasted like chocolate! I couldn't help myself!"

"Bull fucking shit."

"**You're a worthless piece of crap you know that!"**

They both stopped and looked towards the front of the house.

"**I don't know why I bothered to keep you! You're no good for nothing!"**

"Is he yelling at Shigen? What did emo ever do to him?"

"Come on Kai, we should go and make sure he doesn't get violent."

"**Fucking homo! Your sister laid in the hospital dying last night! And here I find you hanging out at your gay friend's house!"**

The boys didn't get there in time.

There was a thumping sound followed by a cry of pain. They arrived in time to see Shigen laying on the floor supporting a bloody nose, and the enraged father standing in the doorway. His face was turning purple.

"**I've had enough of you! Don't bother coming home! You're not welcome!"**

Link ran to Shigen's side and helped him sit up. "You Okay?" When he saw the younger man's face he regretted asking that.

His eyes were closed, tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks mixing with the blood along the way. He was still holding on to his nose tightly, it was probably broken.

Kai stood in front of the purple faced man. "Would you kindly leave our house, before we call the police dudes to come and kick your ass."

The man pointed a finger in Kai's face. "You keep him..." He gestured towards Shigen. **"And your fagot friends away from my family! You hear me!"**

Kai pushed the man out and slammed the door in his face. "No! Sorry! I'm deaf!"

He turned to smile at the other two, but thought better of it when he saw the look on Shigen's face. "Hey... What was he saying about your sister?"

"My... Sister... She passed away last night... She had cancer..." His voice sounded stuffed up.

Link helped him to his feet. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He lead Shigen to the nearest bathroom.

Kai stood by the door, watching the both of them leave. "Was that guy one of those homophobic people? Weirdo..."

Seun trotted over to him and whined softly.

"You want to be picked up do you?" He picked the puppy up and went back into the living room. "Time to watch some Trinity Blood!"

Link came into the room a little while later.

Kai patted the place on the couch beside him. "How is he?"

Link sat down and slumped into the shadow. "He's relaxing in our room now, I think he needs some time to himself. That bastard broke his nose, I put it back in place. That's all I could do."

"So his sister died? Is that what he was going on about in the car a while ago? You know about the country music and stuff."

"I think that's what he was trying to tell us. He not the type of person who opens up easily."

They sat silently for a few moments.

"Link? What about our history assignment?"

"Fuck history."

Kai's mouth fell open. "Did you just say the fuck word? And diss homework?"

Link snuggled into his shoulder with a content sigh. "Yep."

Kai smirked. "Will you go out with me?"

The hero sat up and glared at him. "If I say yes... Will you leave me alone?"

"Well except on the nights I want to get laid."

"We are not having sex."

"So you'll go out with me if we don't have to have sex?"

"Yes..." He laid his head back on Kai's shoulder.

The shadow blinked. "Did you just agree to go out with me? After 5000 years, you're finally going to give in?"

Link glared at the floor. "Do you want me to go out with Shigen instead? Jeez..."

"No! I'm just surprised... I'll shut up now.."

"You two wanna go to the park...?"

They both looked to see Shigen standing in the door frame, a very satisfied smirk on his face and arms crossed over his chest.

Kai jumped up, knocking Link off him. "Hey emo! I thought you were asleep or something? Let me guess... You saw Link's answer and had to come see for your self right?"

"Yes... You see... I never thought he would agree so easily..."

"Hey Link? You wanna make out?" He straddled the hero, who had just straightened himself up.

"No... I don't." Link didn't make any move to remove the shadow, which Kai thought was a bonus. "What were you saying about the park Shigen?"

Kai pouted and nuzzled Link's cheek.

"I'm sure little Seun needs some exercise... And I happen to know a good place to let her run..."

Kai jumped up. "Wait! Emo.. You were kicked out of your house! Where are you staying?"

Shigen rolled his eyes again. "Well I was thinking of staying at my friend's house... You see... They have a huge mansion that's practically empty... And a huge kitchen full of food... And the smarter one knows how to cook really well... And the stupid one entertains me when I'm bored...And they're also a bunch of rich bastards who can afford to house a friend in need... Even if it means they can't have sex every night..."

Kai tilted his head in confusion. "Wow, you have other friends? They sound cool! Maybe we can all hook up and have an orgy!"

"Kai, he was talking about us."

"Oh..."

They stared blankly at him.

"Can we still have an orgy?"


	11. Wow an orgy

**Chapter 11: Wow an orgy**

_I wonder if he's sad behind the mask...? Because if he is... he not showing it... _Link looked back towards the emo who sat on the park bench next to him. "Hey, Shigen?"

Shigen directed his gaze towards Link, expression still blank. His nose looked even worse then it did before they left. "Yes sexy...?"

Link started fidgeting. _Maybe I shouldn't do this... _"Um, well do you want to talk about anything? You're sister... She... kind of died... Shouldn't you be sad or something?"

Emo immediately turned his attention towards Kai who was teaching Seun to play fetch, it wasn't working too well...

"_Kind of_ is an understatement sexy... She's dead as they can get... And no... I do not wish to speak of it.. I'm Okay... Actually... My nose hurts though.."

Link sighed and hung his head. "How can you say that with no emotion? You blunt bastard..."

"Sexy... Did you just call me a bastard...?"

"Yeah I did! You gonna do anything about it?"

Shigen stood up and waved his hand at Kai. "Shadow... I'm going to kill your girlfriend..."

Link stood and shoved him, not hard enough to make him fall, but enough to make him loose his balance a bit. "And since when was I the bitch in the relationship?"

Shigen glared at him and shoved him back. "Since you started acting all mother hen towards me..."

Kai sat down beside Seun and stared at the other two. "You know puppy? I can't tell if they really are pissed at each other, or if they're just playing around."

Seun rolled her eyes.

Kai jumped up and grabbed the stick. "Okay then you smart ass! Go fetch!"

He threw it as hard as he could and watched as... it... slowly... descended... towards...

There was a cry of pain.

"Oh shit I hit an old lady! Wait... Isn't that the one Shigen ran over...?"

"You know who you remind me of? Impa!"

"Sexy... I have no idea who that is... And even if I did... I don't think I would care... Now lets stop this conversation before it gets out of hand..."

"Not until you show some emotion, and if you don't... You're not coming back home with us."

"Outside it is then..."

Link pulled his hair in frustration. "You drive me crazy! I know... If you smile for me... I'll cook whatever you want for diner tonight..."

"Are you two done killing each other yet?" Kai skipped over to them.

"Kai be quiet for a second."

"Whatever I want...?"

"Yes."

The shadow slid behind Link and hugged him, then began running his hands up and down the hero's chest.

"Kai that's very distracting.. And if you go any lower you'll be loosing one of your hands."

"Damn, I was going to too."

"Sexy... I'll make you a deal... If you make me some medium rare stake with salad... I'll smile..."

"Done."

Shigen cringed before the corners of his mouth slowly twitched into a smile.

Link happily returned the smile.

But Kai... Fell fell over laughing.

Shigen's face returned back to it's blank normality. "What's so funny shadow...?"

Kai had to stop for air, he was on all fours gasping. "It looked like you had something unpleasant stuck up your ass!"

"And that my friends... Is why I don't smile..."

* * *

Kai collapsed into a heap on his desk. "I finally found it..."

"Math class isn't really that hard to find."

He turned to look at the person who spoke to him. "And you are?"

The guy extended his hand. "Cian McKennoth, and you?"

Kai glared at the appendage until Cian dropped it. "My names Kaiten Savior, Kai for short. And don't hit on me, I have a boyfriend."

"It wouldn't happen to be that weirdo Shigen Hikarn would it?"

"Listen ass hole. You leave Shigen alone, he's not weird. And I'm not dating him, I'm dating my brother." _Fuck... It sound really bad... _

"I guess you're right, you're the weird one."

"Listen candy-

"Cian."

"Me and Link aren't really brothers... Just look a likes..."

"And that makes it semi normal?"

"No not really... You're pretty hot..."

(I did mention I'm no good at descriptions right? Cian is my friends character, I'll ask him if I can put Cian's pick on my deviant for you... or something, but for now! Sexy looking dude with shoulder length hair, I don't know what color it is, and I believe red eyes...)

Cian's eye twitched. "Didn't you say you had a boyfriend?"

"He doesn't care if _I _hit on people, it's just if they hit on me... Actually, I don't think he cares, but still!"

"You're really confusing..."

"Sorry... I ate a bag of sugar this morning..."

"A bag of sugar?"

"Yep!"

"You're strange."

"Thanks I guess."

The crazy math teacher walked into the room, immediately noticing Kai. "Get out of my class you wretch!" She picked up the ruler stick and chased him out.

"Crazy fucking bitch!"

"There's an assembly today. Go to the assembly. There's an assembly today. Assembly. No homework. Don't forget the assembly."

No one was listening to the teacher. Link was drawing something random, and Shigen was playing on the PSP that Kai had let him borrow.

"Zack... You're so hot... I wish you were real..."

Link looked up from his paper to stare at him. "Shigen? Are you talking to a game character?"

"Zack Fair... 1st class SOLDIER... Spiky black hair... Gorgeous blue eyes... I want to rape him... Is that such a bad thing...?"

"I think we need to keep you away from Final fantasy 7. I like Cloud better anyways."

Shigen hissed and inched away from the hero. "How dare you choose chocobo over puppy..."

"I'm here!"

"Welcome back student that is not mine. Assembly today. Homework."

Kai joined the others. "Having fun emo?"

Link poked his side. "Are you skipping math again?"

"You wouldn't believe it! I finally find the class on time. I talked to some sexy dude beside me. I was about to get my binder out when crazy bitch teacher walks in and starts chasing me with her ruler stick."

"Sounds traumatizing." Link went back to drawing his picture.

Kai whimpered and hugged the hero from behind nuzzling his neck. "It was. And all I could think about was staying alive so I could see my cupcake again."

"Don't call me that."

"Sugar pie."

"Stop."

"Sweet pea."

"I'm going to kill you."

The signal for the announcements came on. "Will all the grade 10's please make their way to the gymnasium for our assembly. Thank you."

Link nudged Shigen. "We'll save a spot for you."

"I know..."

Kai dragged Link to his feet. "Come on honey."

"Kai."

The shadow reached and grabbed a handful of Link's ass.

Link yelped and blushed.

And the fan girls screamed.

They sat at the back of the gym and watched as the chaos slowly unfolded. People were rushing to get the last available chairs and trying to find places where all their friends could sit.

Soon after the 11's were called down, Shigen was making his way through the crowd towards them.

"Hello sexy... Shadow..." He took the empty seat beside Link.

The place went pitch black.

"Welcome everyone to our pep rally!"

Everyone cheered loudly.

Link and Kai both covered their ears.

Shigen handed them ear plugs. "I thought these would come in handy today..."

"Now let us introduce the football team!"

A bunch of dudes in football gear walked onto the stage that had been lit up with spot lights.

A song blasted on the speakers.

Shigen flinched like he was about to get punched again. "Not this song..."

"Soulja boy off in this hoe!"

The football players began doing the crazy dance.

Kai shook his head. "What the fuck is this shit?"

Some girls in the front took off their shirts and threw them onto the stage.

Random people started making out with random people.

Link was twitching. "So basically our assembly is a giant orgy."

He looked to the right and saw Ganon and Zelda making out on the wall.

Kai's eye's were huge. "Best. School. Ever." He grabbed Link and pushed him onto the floor.

Shigen took out the PSP. "Oh Zack... My only sane friend..."

"It wasn't necessary to pull me on the floor."

"Well if I didn't pin you, you wouldn't have agreed to that hot make out session now would you?"

"Oh shut up and eat your dinner."

"Speaking of dinner sexy... I must compliment your cooking once again... Because it's wonderful..."

"Thank you Shigen."

"More like horrible! I hate fish!" Kai plugged his nose and pretended to gag.

"Fish is very good for you shadow..."

"Shut up emo! Or I'll... Make Link cook crab for tomorrow!"

"I'm shaking in my socks..."

"Link! Did I tell you about Shigen's birthday?"

Link looked up, food forgotten. "No... When is it?"

"This fr-

Shigen clamped a hand over his mouth. "Bad shadow..."

Kai struggled, flailing his arms around.

"The twelfth huh?"

Shigen turned to him. "How did you know that?"

"I have mindly powers. I can read minds. Don't worry, I don't do it unless I have to!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel comfortable...?"

"I guess?"

Kai bit the emo's hand.

"Ouch... You vampire..."

Kai licked the blood off his lips. "I'm a demon not a vampire. Don't get us mixed up."

"So instead of drinking blood... You go around raping women and killing children...?"

Kai nodded. "Basically yeah, well except that I would rape younger men not women. You should have been there when I first met Link. I couldn't catch him, fucker was too fast. But if I did get him pinned, it's safe to say he wouldn't be a 5000 year old virgin."

"Kai go feed your dog."

"Fine."

Kai stomped off to find Seun.

"So sexy... What did you do with that sword you had...?"

Link picked up his plate and rinsed it off in the sink. "It's somewhere in this house, and if you ever find it, don't touch it. You'll turn into stone or something..."

"What was it like fighting monsters...?"

"Creepy as hell... Especially the ReDeads..."

"They do sound quite scary..."

"Ah! Link! Ganondork's here!"

"It's Ganon."

"Wow, your house is big."

"Well size is everything princess."

Link and Shigen both sighed and made their way to the door.

"Stop hitting on my girlfriend."

"Link! Ganondork's dating Zelda! Isn't that the most twisted thing you've ever heard of?"

"Yes Kai... Her ancestors would be proud." This time he was the one to hug Kai from behind.

"Wow hero, you're actually touching me without me forcing you."

"Isn't that what lovers do?"

Shigen walked towards the stairs. "I'm going to bed you two..."

Kai smirked evilly. "Just a sec Shigen." He pushed the other two out the door. "Thanks for coming over, but we're going to have a threesome right now, come back later! Bye!"

He dragged Link towards the bedroom following Shigen.

"Kai we are not having a threesome!"

"But Shigen's comfy! I want to snuggled up with him tonight!"

Shigen slipped down to his boxers and jumped on Link's bed. "Jeez sexy... This is a big bed..."

"So were not having sex right? Hey wait, how do you know he's comfy?"

Kai who was already out of his cloths, helped Link out of his. "What are you jealous or something? And so you know... When I hugged him in the pet store I got to feel everything"

Link wrapped his arms around Kai's neck and rubbed noses with him. "Ok... So maybe I am jealous, you're mine remember?"

"Are you going to kiss me?"

Shigen hid his head under the blankets. "I won't watch I swear."

Link shrugged kissed the shadow gently on the lips. "Happy now?"

Kai whimpered. "That wasn't a good kiss..."

"Well that's all you're getting now get in bed."

"Yes _master _anything else?"

"Yes, shut up for once in your life."

Shigen poked his head out from under the blanket. "Sexy... That is about as unlikely as Inu-yasha having a satisfying conclusion."

Link chuckled. "So true."


	12. Yayz! Strippers!

**Chapter 12: Yayz! Strippers!**

English class. Which also happened to be the last class of the day. And this day happened to be a Friday. Everyone knows the last class on the last day of the week goes by _really _slowly... Especially when your teacher repeats everything he says for the whole seventy minutes.

"Is everyone reading? You're supposed to read. And if you're not, open up your books and do so. Reading tonight for homework. Read in the shower. Read with your eyes closed. Re-

"Sometimes I wonder if he's a zombie or something?" Kai picked up the ruler stick on the teachers desk and prodded him with it.

The nameless teacher fell over onto his side and started snoring and drooling.

"Isn't he the saddest thing you've ever seen...?"

Kai shrugged. "Not as sad as you'll be after school today."

Shigen raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean sha... You're not planning something for my birthday are you...?"

"_Maybe..."_

"If you do _anything... _I will cut a hole in your stomach... pull out your intestines and strangle you with them..."

Kai whacked him on the head with the stick. "Bad emo! And I don't think I even have intestines! Link do I?"

"Even though you you are not human, you have the basic human anatomy, so yes Kai you do have intestines. Now please shut up, I'm trying to read this play script."

"Why the hell would they make a play on salad?"

Shigen chuckled. "Shadow... Caesar was some dude who lived back in ancient Greece... He pissed off the wrong people and was done in by his bast friend... He was not a salad..."

"Could've fooled me... Hey! Where's the rest of the class?"

All three of them looked around, noting that indeed the whole class had disappeared.

Shigen stood quietly and slipped out after the rest of them while the other two were distracted.

Link quickly started packing up his bag. "You killed the teacher and the class booked it. Let's leave before we get questioned by the police."

Kai looked at Link, a totally serious expression on his face. "All we have to do is put Shigen behind the wheel, they'll all start running... Or from the size of some of the cops I've seen... Rolling.."

"Hey, where did Shigen go?"

Kai grabbed Link's hand and started dragging him away. "Come on! Let's go find our sex slave!"

"He's probably still mad at you. Remember this morning?"

**Flash back! You love me...**

Shigen's mind slowly began to wake up. He knew he was living at his friends house, he knew his sister had passed away not too long ago, and he knew he now slept in his best friend's bed... But... He didn't know why his chest felt so heavy...

"Come on Link! Just feel his chest! Not even you would be able to resist!"

"One of these days he's going to stab you with his eyeliner..."

"He wears makeup?"

"Why do you think it takes him so long to get ready for school?"

"Oh... Well that's awkward..."

"He's waking up, maybe you should get off him."

"He wont care if I'm on top of him drooling over his luscious body."

"Yeah right, and I'm Santa Clause."

"You are?"

"No you dunce."

Shigen tried to make sense of the conversation, but his mind was still in to much of a haze.

"Hey... I wonder how big his-

"Don't even say it Kaiten!"

"Oh come on! You're curious too!"

"No! I'm not..."

His touchy sense was telling his brain that something was slowly making it's way into his boxers.

"Kai he _will _kill you."

"I just wan to know!"

"Friends don't touch other friends private areas."

"I do."

He finally clued into the conversation, the thing making it's way into his boxers was the very soon to be dead shadow's hand.

"Shadow... Go any lower... And you die..."

"Don't be stingy emo. I just want to know if all that eye liner is your way of compensating for something."

Shigen opened his eye, and was met with the blurry image of Kai's face hovering above him.

"Get off now..."

"But..."

"Off..."

"Are you mad?"

"Yes..."

"Kai he actually sounds angry, now get the hell off him, you're making me jealous."

"Link! I lovez you!"

"Oh goddesses please help me."

**End flash back... **

"It wasn't that bad! You have to expect that kind of stuff from me when you live in my house!"

"What about me? I've been with you ever since I freed you from the water temple, and I'm still not used to it."

Kai stopped in the middle of the hall way and turned to face the hero. "You mean, you don't like it when I do this?"

He ran a finger from Link's stomach all the way up to his jaw bone, tracing his facial features with feathery light touches, and then he leaned in to capture his lips in a kiss.

Some girls standing nearby ran away with bloody tissues covering their noses.

Link glared at him and pushed the shadow away. "Not here, there's people watching."

"Let them watch, I always pictured myself molesting you in the middle of the hallway." He pushed Link against the wall and started trailing kisses down his neck.

"I leave you two for a few seconds... And already... Shadow has sexy pinned to the wall..."

Link's eyes lit up. "Shigen. Where did you go? And also, can you help me?"

"I went to the office to ask them to dial 9-1-1... Just in case that teacher had a heart attack... And no sexy... I don't believe I'll help you... I've been wanting to get you guys together ever since I met you... And you're going to cooperate and enjoy every little thing shadow does to you..."

"Bu- He whimpered as Kai bit down on the crook of his neck, drawing blood.

"Kai! That hurt!"

"Sorry babe, demon instincts are hard to control around you."

Shigen turned and walked towards the front doors. "Shall we go home you two...?"

"Happy birthday!"

Shigen's eye twitched, his face instead of being unreadable was now covered with the look of 'omg'.

"Shadow... It's huge..."

In front of him stood a three story cake. Ice cream cake to be exact.

"Yeah! I like everything big! And no I'm not suggesting anything."

"You didn't have to do this much... A punch in the face would have done just fine.."

"I know... What? ... Anyways! This is just to give me an excuse to guilt you into telling us about your past!" He hugged the emo from behind and ruffled his hair.

"What makes you think I'll tell you about my past...?"

"Don't you want to repay me?"

"I don't particularly care..."

Link laughed nervously. "Come on Shigen, it's not like it will kill you."

Shigen looked at both of them then sighed. "Fine... But I'm not going into details..."

Kai sat down on Link's lap and got comfortable. "Begin developing character now!"

"This is stupid... I'm the youngest in my family... My mother died well giving birth to me.. and from then on my father has hated my guts... My sister who was 9 at the time was the only one who really cared about me... She would sneak me out of the house every September 12th to celebrate my birthday in the woods that is located behind our house..."

Kai grabbed a random tissue box off the table and handed it to Link who stared at it blankly. "Did you show emotion back then?"

"Yes... And I laughed and smiled a lot... Well.. When my father wasn't around... When I turned 14 and my sister turned 23... She was diagnosed with brain cancer... To my father... She was basically our mother reincarnated... He gave her everything... and when he found out she had cancer... He blamed me..."

Kai took a tissue out of the box and blew his nose. "Your father's an ass."

"Yes... And the rest you basically know... I started going through a rebellious stage... Doing everything my father hated... You should have seen his face when I told him I liked boys..."

Link patted Kai's back, trying to calm the sobbing shadow down.

"Kai, calm down jeez..."

"But it's so sad!" He jumped on Shigen and hugged him again. "I'll never let anyone be mean to you as long as you live emo!"

"It's strange how you can make a promise like that and keep it... How long do demons and elves live anyways...?"

"We don't... Wait! You're human! You only live like 70 years! You get old and die! You're face will turn all wrinkly and you'll loose those righteous abs! This is the worst day of my life!"

"Are you just figuring this out now Kai?" Link pulled out a knife and started cutting the semi de-thawed cake.

"Why did you let me befriend him?"

The door bell rang and they all fell silent.

Shigen tilted his head. "Who's that?"

Kai jumped off Link and picked up Seun who was sleeping on the floor. "I hired a stripper for you for your birthday! And now I have to put this child to bed before I let the stripper in! Actually Link... You go get the door, and I'll put Seun to bed."

Link stood rolling his eyes and left.

Kai followed behind him.

"But I don't want a stripper..."

Soon after, Kai walked back into the kitchen and sat down in a chair, grinning at the emo.

Link returned to the kitchen, his face blank. "Kai... Did you specify what kind of stripper you wanted?"

"Yes... Why?"

"Well..."

A woman with long blond hair and a skimpy purple outfit joined the party.

"Hey boys."

Kai stared at the person wide eyed. "I thought I hired a male stripper for my gay friend.."

The girl winked. "Oh but I am a man hun."

Link inched away from the person and hid behind Kai. "Some kind of mutated man then?" (they've never seen a transvestite)

"You two... He's a man dressing as a woman..."

Kai pulled Shigen out of the chair and pushed him towards the stripper. "Have at him Emo!"

Shigen stared at him, which could also be mistaken for a glare. "Did you know I'm a big one on revenge...? And you my most favorite hyper shadow... You are next on my list of getting revenge... May your death come swiftly before I exact it... For I plan to do something to you... That would destroy that perky attitude of yours forever..."

Kai slid under the table and hid there. "What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"No... That would be too simple... I have to do something that would follow you for the rest of your life..."

"You wouldn't hurt Link would you?"

"I was thinking more around the lines of... Getting you nurtured... Or maybe just cutting you little friend off completely so you can't fuck sexy..."

"You wouldn't dare!"

The random stripper started fanning himself. "All this talk is making me hot! Let's go into the living room shall we hun?"

He walked Shigen towards the living room smiling.

Shigen looked like he was going to kill something... Or someone... Or just Kai...

Kai crawled out from under the table and latched himself onto Link. "Come on elf... Let's go fuck in your room!"

"We will do no such thing..."

"Damn... Where's that date rape drug when you need it?"

"What?"

"Oh nothing my naive hero. But you will fuck me eventually right?"

Link rolled his eyes. "Eventually..."

"You can top first, then me! I don't know about you, but I don't like the idea of some guys-

"Stop there please Kaiten."

Link flicked the shadow on the nose playfully.

Kai rubbed his nose and sighed. "Now I'm gonna have fantasies every night."

"Not in my bed you're not."


	13. Damn ice cream And flu

**Chapter 13: Damn ice cream And flu**

Kai grumbled and tried to command his mind to go back to sleep. _I wonder what woke me up?_

"If you two don't get out of bed... Seun will explode..."

Kai sat up very fast, sending Link, who was sleeping on top of him flying off the bed. "Explode!"

Shigen was standing at the end of the bed, covered in...

"Shigen, please tell me that not what I think it is..."

Link poked his head up, he glared at Kai who smiled back, and then turned to Shigen. "Oh... My... God..."

"It's not what you think it is..."

Kai laughed so hard he started choking on air. "No you're standing in front of us covered in a white sticky substance after I hired you a stripper, but no... It's not what any of us think it is... Not at all! Question! How many times did you two have sex?"

Shigen ignored the question. "You're really sick..."

"Damn crooked!"

Link had to stop and think about that one. "Crooked? What?"

"Well you see.. I was saying damn straight all the time, and the problem with that is... I'm gay! So if I say crooked, it applies to me better. Now Shigen, if you're not covered in what we all think it is... What is it?"

"Ice cream..."

"Really? Where did you..." He looked at Link confused. "Didn't we have an ice cream cake last night?"

They all fell silent. Which tended to happen a lot with these guys.

Link was the first to react. He stood up, still in his boxers and bolted down the stairs.

Kai looked to Shigen, who was looking quiet tired and pissed all at the same time. "Um, how did you get covered in ice cream?"

"I was trying to save that mutt of yours from over weight issues at a young age... but I stepped into the kitchen... and... fell... And every time I tried to stand up I would loose my balance and fall again..."

"Maybe we should go help Link then."

"Just a bit..."

"Kai! Come get your dog!"

They both walked as fast as they could to the kitchen, and Kai already forgetting what Shigen had said about the slippery floors...

"Ah!" His feet slipped out from under him and he landed on his back, now covered in ice cream.

Shigen leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Is it just me... Or were we all expecting that...?"

Link was also on the floor, holding onto a once black puppy. He himself had more stuff on him then all the others put together.

Kai slid over to Link and hugged him. "Yay! Ice cream orgy!"

Poor Link dropped the puppy, who skidded over to Shigen. "Kai, can you please give the orgy idea up?"

"No..." He picked up a chocolate fudge chunk and smeared it all over his chest. "Come hither hero."

Shigen sighed and attempted to make his way over to the cleaning closet. "Thankfully we'll be done cleaning this soon."

Link sighed. "Thank the goddesses for giving Shigen the power to see into the future."

"Love you too sexy..."

Kai picked up another fudge chunk and threw it at Shigen, who finally lost his balance and fell on his ass.

"Ouch..."

"Well stop hitting on my man!"

"Kai, he's Shigen, and Shigen is always hitting on people." Link bent down and licked some of the chocolate off of Kai's chest, making the shadow squirm.

"Ew... It tastes really weird now." He shrugged and pushed Kai onto the floor, licking the chocolate off.

Shigen, who had finally reached the closet, started mopping up the mess. It wasn't helping a lot... He looked at Seun who was passed out on the carpet in the hallway and chuckled. _Serves you right mutt..._

And after many arguments and attempted yaoi later... The kitchen was clean! Wow.. They actually managed to do something!

Link sighed and walked back to his room. _Time for a shower..._

Kai stopped before following the hero. "Shigen... You might want to do something about all that ice cream. The sticky feeling gets really annoying after a while."

"Thanks shadow... If you hadn't pointed it out... I would have stayed like this the whole day..."

"You're a sarcastic bitch."

"And you're pretty noisy for a shadow..."

"..."

"That's right... I own you..."

"In bed..."

"No... sexy owns you there..."

"Damn crooked."

"That's never gonna catch on you know..."

"That's not true! I bet some where out there, there's an occult that's dedicated to me."

"Keep dreaming..."

Link came down the stairs, cleaned and clothed. "Kai, your turn." (O.o That was fast)

"Yes shadow... Go get a shower... you smell..."

Someone hugged Shigen from behind. "Ok hun, see ya next time."

"Sure..."

The unnamed stripper waved to them all and strutted out of the house.

Kai looked at Shigen. "Did you loose your virginity last night?"

"Maybe..." _No..._

"You're so lucky!"

Link raised an eyebrow. "Kai I thought you said you weren't a virgin."

"Hey, who knows what Ganondorf did to me while I was his slave."

Shigen shivered. "Thanks for putting images into my head..."

"Any time! Well.. Anytime after my shower..." He stopped to give Link a kiss on his way to the stairs.

"So sexy... I'm going to go get my shower... And then we can decide what we're going to do today..."


	14. A trip to the fair

**Chapter 14: A trip to the fair**

"Well this is an intense moment."

Kai stopped his staring contest with Shigen to look at Link. "We're waiting for you to find somewhere for us all to go. "I'm not smart enough to think of a place." He turned back to Shigen who was sticking his tongue out at him.

"What makes you think I can find a place?" He picked up the newspaper off the coffee table from the previous day and flipped through the pages.

The staring contest had escalated into a pillow fight, Shigen toppled Kai onto the floor and started beating him relentlessly with a couch cushion.

He hit Kai over the head again. "Be vanquished shadow..."

Said shadow struggled to push the human off him, but he was too heavy. "Man we got to stop feeding you."

"Wait! I know where we can go."

The two stopped fighting abruptly to stare at the elf.

"He scared the shit out of me..."

"Really? Not me. Hey Link where's the fire?"

"Not here thank god..."

"If you guys don't shut up I'm not going to tell you about the place I just found."

Shigen rolled himself off of Kai and motioned for him to continue.

"It says here in the news paper that the fall fair started a while ago. It looks really fun."

"It is sexy..."

Kai tilted his head to the side. "What the fuck do you do at a fair?"

Link looked back at the article and read quickly. "Well there's rides, and attractions, and you can pet a llama. What ever a llama is..."

"Llama's are evil conniving creatures who will someday take over the world... With the help of nerds of course..."

Kai inched away from him. "I wanna pet a llama!"

"No you don't... They will spit on you like you an inferior being..."

"Cool."

"Not cool..."

Link shook his head and stood up. "Are we going or not?"

"Yes sexy... I think the fair is a wonderful place to go..."

"Emo... You speak like an old lady."

"Shut up or I'm driving..."

"Don't threaten me."

Link stared flatly at them as they continued to bicker. _Ah... Family love..._

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost shadow..."

Kai fidgeted in the back seat, waiting a few seconds before asking... "Are we there yet?"

"It's only been 30 seconds since you last asked that, so no Kai."

"Sorry! It's not my fault I'm terrified of cars."

Link shrugged. "It's not my fault either, it Shigen's."

"Thanks sexy... Hey there it is..."

Kai looked out the window and screamed.

Link and Shigen both jumped off their seats.

"Shadow... What the hell was that for...?"

Kai was hiding behind the seat. "The giant wheel! It's going to run us over."

The elf pulled into the parking lot, looking out the front window. "Actually Kai... It's not moving... It think it's stuck. We're not going to die."

"Oh... I knew that..."

Shigen coughed to hide a laugh.

Link pulled into the nearest available parking space. "Okay everyone, out of the car."

They walked into the entrance where they would pay to get in.

"I vote we go on rides first..."

Link payed for their 3 bracelets and nodded. "Yeah, rides first then we eat."

"But I wanna pet a fucking Llama... Hey, that shit rhymes!"

Emo glared at him. "The llama's are sleeping..."

"Oh..." He fingered the bracelet. "What's a ride?"

He smiled evilly. "Let me show you shadow..." Shigen took hold of Link and Kai's hands, dragging them in the direction of the rides.

Kai looked around nervously. "We're not going on the wheel of doom are we?"

"No... I was thinking of a more... exciting ride..."

The hero shivered. "Why does that sound slightly frightening?"

"Don't worry sexy... I'll be good..."

He led them over to a ride titled the scrambler. "This is one of my personal favorites..."

Both Link and Kai eyed it with suspicion.

"Well Kai, it doesn't look too dangerous."

"I say we trust emo for now."

"Diddo"

Shigen loaded them onto the seat, making sure Kai was on the far end. _Heh heh... Loser..._

The ride started with a shudder, spinning them in circles.

Kai closed his eyes lazily and laid his head on Link shoulder. "This ain't so bad."

The ride picked up speed.

Shigen made sure to push all his weight onto Link who in return... Crushed Kai...

"You bunch of lards! Get off me! I can't breath!"

The scrambler spun again, and paused. Giving the illusion that it was crashing into the other carts.

Kai yelped and held onto Link for dear life.

Link couldn't stop laughing. _It's not even funny! I can't stop..._

Luckily for Kai, the ride was over in a few seconds. They all got off, Shigen leading the way still smiling, Link who was still laughing had to drag Kai who was still having breathing problems.

"So... Sexy... Shadow... What did you think of your first ride...?"

It took Link a few minutes to control himself. "I think it's Kai's turn to pick the next ride."

"Fine with me..."

Kai immediately recovered. "Yayz! I get to pick the next ride! Hmmm..." He searched for the most harmless ride in the area. "How about that one?" He gestured towards a gianormous pirate ship.

"You had to pick the most boring one shadow..."

"Damn crooked." He booked it towards the ship, annoying some random people when he bumped into them.

They all took their seats, Link being in the middle again, and relaxed as the ride slowly started.

Shigen snored loudly beside them.

"Oh shut it emo! This is fun!"

The ship started going higher, scaring Kai a bit.

"Is it supposed to do this?"

Shigen continued snoring.

"Emo! Wake up! We are going to die!"

"Shadow... Your mouth is talking... You might want to look to that..." (I don't own firefly quotes!)

"But we're dying..."

Link was having another laughing fit.

"It's just a ride shadow... You are not going to die... Now try to enjoy yourself... And sexy... Calm down..."

The girls sitting in front of them started crying, which just made Link laugh even harder.

Finally that ride ended, and both Link and Shigen had to drag the shaking shadow away.

"Ok sexy... Your turn to choose..."

"Ok, let's see." He pointed towards formidable form of the tornado. "That one looks fun."

Kai whimpered and latched onto his arm. "Hero, that does not look fun at all."

"If you get on it, I'll have a make out session with you for a whole hour."

Kai giggled. "Hey Link! Look at that ride! Sure looks fun!"

"Nice one sexy..."

They got strapped into their seats.

Kai poked at the disk shaped thing in front of him. "What's this for?"

Shigen grabbed a hold of it and spun it, causing the whole cart to turn.

"Holy fuck! Stop!"

Link chuckled as the ride started. "How fast do you think we can get this thing spinning?"

"I don't know sexy... Shall we find out...?"

"But you guys we're already spinning! We don't need to spin anymore!"

They ignored him and began turning the wheel as fast as they could.

On lookers who were watching gaped at them. "Wow! Look at those guys! I hope one of them puke!"

Kai was so dizzy he couldn't keep his eyes open. _I hate this ride! When the fuck are the llama's waking up?_

When it ended, Link and Shigen got off and tried to high five each other, but they were too dizzy so they just fell over laughing.

The poor shadow crawled over to a bench and sat down, soon joined by the other two.

"Shadow... You looked like you were about to cry..."

"Bull shit."

"I promise to pick a nice ride to go on next..."

"You better."

It was Link's turn to lean on Kai's shoulder, he was passed out with swirly eyes.

"Maybe we should wait a few seconds..."

And after they all were semi conscious, Shigen lead the way to the next ride, which wasn't really a ride... more like a house with mirrors...

"See... All we have to do is walk through the maze..."

"Finally a ride that won't give me heart problems." Kai walked ahead of them, head held high, like nothing bad was going to happen to him.

The first thing he encountered... The mirror that makes you appear fat.

"Ah! I'm huge! I gained like 700 pounds! It must have been the last ride! We were going so fast it stretched all my skin and then air filled it like a balloon!"

"Is that really how his brain works?"

Link face palmed and sighed. "You don't know the half of it." _Does Kai even realize that it's not his reflection? It's mine... What a dumb ass..._

"Link! Quick! We gotta go to the gym! I'm fat! If we have sex I'll kill you!"

A mother who was with her children glared at them.

"Walk away lady. You'd get pissed to if you found out you were suddenly to fat to get some."

"Shadow... Your not fat... It's just the mirror..."

"Thank the goddesses."

"Well that was entertaining... Let's go on one more ride then get something to eat, I'm starving."

"I'm with sexy..."

Kai jumped up and down excited. "Link gets to pick the next ride! Then we eat! Then I can pet a llama!"

Link smirked. "There's a ride I've been wanting to try for a while."

"Lead the way hero!"

Link wrapped his arm around Kai's waist and steered him towards one of the scariest rides there.

Shigen couldn't stop the laugh when he saw Kai's face.

"Link you're holding me like this so I cant run aren't you?"

"Yep."

"You're such a good boyfriend."

The title of the ride was UFO. The ride that spins around in a circle and tilts at a crazy angle, and just when you think the ride is over it starts spinning the other way.

Kai gulped and looked at the warning sign. "Do not ride if you have heart problems or you are or might be preg- Link I'm pregnant! I can't go on this."

"Since when were you pregnant? And with who's kid?"

"A while back I raped you in your sleep."

"Kai get on the ride."

"But our child..."

"Men can't have children, that's why they invented women."

"Men invented women?"

"No! That came out wrong." He pushed the reluctant Kai onto the ride and helped strap him in.

"Come on shadow... This will be fun..."

"I'll pee on you!"

Shigen stared at him blankly. "What kind of threat was that...?"

"I don't know, it was the only thing I could think of."

The ride started, spinning so fast that they all stuck to the cushion behind them.

"You guys! I think the ride is trying to molest me!"

They couldn't hear him, there was too much screaming.

And Link's maniacal laughter was pretty loud too.

* * *

"Where are we going now?"

Shigen was leading them through the big building like he knew the place, but he was probably just reading the signs. "I'm taking you to pet a llama..."

"Sweet!"

"Kai... Why do you want to pet a llama again?"

"Because it has a funny name. Llama!"

"Stop that..."

"Llama!"

They walked into the fenced area that held all the animals for the petting zoo. Shigen gestured towards a creature near the back. "That my dear shadow... Is a llama..."

When Kai looked at it, his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "Ew... It's a really hairy horse with a rabbit head. I'm gonna have nightmares."

"Go pet it Kaiten."

"No fucking way. I ain't touching no mutant rabbit."

"It a llama shadow..."

"How about them rides you guys?"

Link grumbled lightly. "We cant go on any fast rides since we just ate... Shigen? Is there any gentle rides?"

"Yes... I know just the ride..."

"The wheel of death emo? You're shitting me."

"All it does is spin very gently in circles... A perfect ride for lovers... And it's also a perfect time to ride it... Night time... all lit up and romantic... "

"What are you going to do Shigen?"

"Don't worry sexy... I'll be over there playing some games... And since I can see if I going to win or not... The next time you'll see me... I'll have my arms stuffed with prizes..."

Kai glomped the hero and dragged him off to the ferris wheel. "See ya cheater!"

They sat down on their seats and snuggled up with each other. The ride wouldn't start until everyone was loaded so it eventually stopped when they were at the top to let some people on.

"Look how high we are. And it's fucking cold up here."

Link hugged him tighter into his chest and rested his chin on the shadows head.. "Any better?"

"Slightly."

"You're such a wimp."

"Kiss me."

"Why?"

Kai shivered again. "It will make me warmer."

The wheel turned, bringing them closer to the ground.

"Just a quick one, we don't want people to see us."

He leaned in and pressed his warm lips to Kai's, his arms circling around the small of his back. He felt Kai reach up and tangle his fingers in his hair. _Some one's a little eager._

Kai moaned loudly as Link's tongue slid over his lips, he opened his mouth and allowed the hero to explore the wet cavern that tasted of heavenly chocolate.

Link pushed his tongue in deeper, trying to memorize every part of Kai's mouth, he felt a cold hand slip in the back of his pants and grope his ass, and for once he didn't care, instead he pushed Kai down until he was half on top of him, completely forgetting where they were.

"Link..." Kai sighed out the hero's name softly and arched his back, trying to create more friction between them, he was rewarded from a groan above him, and he smiled devilishly before he pulled away from the hero.

They were both out of breath, and Link hadn't moved from his position, he continued to stare down at his darker self, a strange look of concentration on his face, like he really wanted to say something.

"Um, you two getting off?"

They looked at the dude who controlled the ride. Apparently, the ride had come to an end. A whole crowd of people were standing there watching them. Some had nose bleeds, and some were supporting big eyes.

Shigen chuckled at them as they walked off the ride, Link was blushing and Kai was grinning.

"Well sexy... shadow... If I didn't know better... I'd say you were the main attraction..."


	15. Boring birthdays

**Chapter 15: Boring birthdays**

Link shook his head and slammed the bed room door in Kai's face. "We are not going."

"But Link! I wanna take you to a gay bar!"

"Gay bar... Gay bar..." Shigen started bobbing his head to the music that just got suck in his head.

"What emo said! They're fun! You'll see!"

"No I won't, because I'm not going. You and Shigen can go, I'll stay here."

Kai's pouted. "But what's the point of that? We have to celebrate our birthday together! You only turn 5018 once!"

Link snorted and rolled his eyes. "Which brings up the question of how we're still alive."

"And also... How do you keep your self looking so young...? What's your secret shadow...?"

"Melted ice cream cake."

"Ooo... Nice one..."

"Kai, if I said I'll have sex with you would you let me stay home?"

"Sex? You bet hero!" He started throwing off his clothes like they were on fire.

Shigen turned and swiftly walked away. "See you guys later... I'm going out for a while..."

Link popped his head of the door. "Wait! I changed my mind! No sex!"

He was tackled to the ground by a very naked Kai.

"Oh hero... How I've longed for this day!"

"No! I was joking!"

Kai slipped a hand into Link's pants, drawing lazy circles on the hero's boxers. "Well if we're not gonna fuck... What are we doing?"

"We do have school tomorrow, so we can get our home work done! And could you stop doing that? It's very distracting."

"We never do homework though, and it's our birthday! We need to do something fun! Like sex!"

"No sex. How about we go to a movie or something?"

"Boring."

"Um, sleep over?"

"Who would we invite over? Ganon and Zelda? They haven't been able to talk for the last week they make out so much."

Link shivered with revulsion. "I don't think I would ever be able to fight him seriously now."

"Yeah..."

They both went silent, until Seun's loud snore echoed through the room.

Kai rolled himself off Link and jumped onto the bed. "Let's go to sleep then!"

"Really? That's all?" He stood and sat on the edge of the mattress.

"You have to get naked of course."

"I knew it was too good to be true..."

"Get naked hero! Consider it my birthday present from you." _Yummm... Naked Link's..._

"Ok! Gay bar it is then!" He grabbed a hold of the shadow and dragged him out the door.

"Um Link? I'm still naked..."

"Oh."

"Remember the time when you dressed me as a girl for disguise purposes so we could infiltrate the land lord's house? That wasn't one of your most brilliant idea's... and either is this..."

Kai slid a glass of alcohol in front of him. "Come on hero! Loosen up a bit!"

Link picked up the glass and took a small sip. "Ew! It tastes like horse piss."

"And how would you know what that tastes like?"

"I don't know... Why is the sky blue?"

"That's so easy! Because it's made out of water!"

Link nodded and continued drinking. "Where are all the strippers Kaiten?"

"Well since you're so uncomfortable with stuff like that, I thought I'd be nice and take you to a normal bar." He smiled and nibbled the elf's ear gently. "But if you like... I could strip for you later."

"That's Okay, I think I'll pass."

"You're so boring."

Link finished with his first drink quicker then Kai would have thought possible.

"Hey Kai, you think I can have another one of these?"

Kai handed him his drink. "Don't get to drunk, hangovers kill man. And we still have school tomorrow."

"Screw the school, I have liquor."

Kai smiled at him, trying to hide the sudden nervousness he was feeling. _Why do I feel this is gonna end bad? Where's emo when you need him?_

After five more rounds for Link, he was looking really buzzed.

"Kai come dace with me."

"Do you even know how to dance?"

"Nope! But I can learn."

Kai shrugged and followed him out onto the dance floor.

"Yay! Come on Kai dance!"

Both of then started dancing to the music. (The song is "Just dance" if yer wondering)

"Link? Since when did you know how to dirty dance?" _Why am I holding back again? Link's drunk! Where's a fucking camera when you need one?_

"Since now!"

"We're leaving soon."

Link glared at him. "Why?"

"Because they're closing... And if you want more liquor, you'll have to go home and get some." _Fuck... Who's driving?_

"Oh..." His eyes closed slowly and he collapsed on top of an unsuspecting shadow.

Kai caught him just in time. _Damn... That means I am..._

"For Kokiri festivals, they would... Are any of you even listening?"

Dave leaned back in his chair and sighed. "No miss! Can we sit here and do nothing now?"

"You know what? Go ahead!" She marched towards her desk and sat down.

Zelda leaned over towards Link and poked him with her pencil. "Hey, where's Shigen? I haven't seen him all day."

Link shook his head. "I don't know. He didn't come back last night. ... Kai, can you please stop fidgeting? It's making my headache worse..."

Kai stopped for 2 seconds, then started again. "How can you be this calm when our fuck buddy is missing? And who's fault was it for over drinking when were only at the bar for like an hour..." _Link got shit-faced and I still didn't get any... what will it TAKE?_

"Shigen is a big boy, he can take care of himself. And if I remember correctly... it was your fault."

"Bull shit! The kid got beat up by his own father."

"I don't think the whole school needs to know Kaiten, so be quiet."

Zelda smiled. "I think it's so cute how you guys care for each other."

"Same for you and Ganny pooh."

"I know! He's sooo great! He walks me home, and carries my stuff, and did I mention that he's a really good kisser?"

Link snorted. _It's like a bad fanfiction..._

(Insert bell ringing noise here)

Kai packed his stuff up quickly, not noticing that he was also taking Link's stuff. "Well Zelda, we gotta go! Me and Link have English! Ah... I mean... He has English! Bye!"

He very quickly dragged Link out of the room and into the English room, which was conveniently next door.

Kai sat down in Shigen's desk and collapsed. "Man, I almost lost my breakfast." _I'm never drinking again..._

Link nodded in agreement. "I'm disappointed in the human race."

The old teacher, who was still alive, went to the front of the room to explain the days lesson. "Today we write our own story, it can be any genre, just no swearing or sex." He went back to his desk and sat down.

Link stared wide-eyed at the board. "Did he just give out instructions without repeating himself?"

"I think he did hero." He looked out the window with a worried expression. "The fucking apocalypse is coming."

"For once I agree with you."

After a few minutes of Kai's nervous twitching Link turned to glare at him. "I'm trying to write, and you're being annoying."

"What are you writing?"

"A love story between Zelda and Ganondorf."

"No."

"Fine... I'm writing about Shigen."

"Really?"

Link held the paper up to his face. "Yep, and he has a partner named Kai... And there's gonna be a Seun too."

"Sounds fun."

The school's speaker thing came on. "Can Kaiten and Link Savior please come to the office?"

Both boys looked at each other. "What did we do now?"

"Oh hey boys! How have you been?"

Kai taped his foot on the ground impatiently. "Does this have something to do with Shigen?"

"Yes actually! He's on the phone right now!" She pointed to said phone still smiling.

Kai calmly picked up the phone. "Shigen? Where are you? Are you still alive? Are all body parts intact? Are you there!"

The line was quiet for a moment.

"_Shadow... I'm fine... Besides the broken arm... 100 percent fine..."_

"Broken arm? What the fuck man! Where have you been? You're grounded!"

Link took the phone from the panicking Kai, pushing him towards a chair. "Hey Shigen, what's up?"

"_At least one of you still sane... Anyways... I went for a walk... And I saw some people trying to rob this girl... I jumped in to save her and after a big heroic fight... They all went home with bruised and broken body parts... I didn't know my arm was broken until the girl pointed it out... She took me to the hospital and that's where I am now..."_

"Wow... And you didn't see that coming?"

"_I did actually... I wanted to help the girl out... Now can you two come pick me up...? I'm bored..."_

"Yeah, we'll be there soon." He hung up the phone and looked at Kai blankly. "3'rd degree burns all over is body, two broken arms, and a fractured spine. The doctors say that he probably wont walk ever again."

Kai stared at him, his face was completely white. He twitched a couple times before falling over unconscious.

Link chuckled quietly. "I am so evil..."

Shigen sat on one of the many benches outside of the hospital sighing to himself. The cast was heavy and annoying, and the bruises were pretty sore too, but all that wasn't what was making him depressed.

**A few minutes earlier**

"You don't have much longer." The doctor, Mr. Fynn said, looking down at his chart. He had been Shigen's doctor since he had found out about the growing tumour, they shared a special bond. Shigen trusted him to give him the hard truth, even if it wasn't something he wanted to hear.

"The tumour has grown significantly since I last saw it, and it's still inoperable."

Shigen clutched at his head and nodded.

"I estimate you won't be able to take care of yourself in a couple of months, and then you'll be stuck in here, and I know that's not what you want."

Again, Shigen nodded.

"So go out and live, do everything, meet people, people who will take care of you, and when the time comes, you can trust me to keep you comfortable."

Shigen stood up from the bed and sighed. "Until then.." He waved at Mr. Fynn and walked out of the room.

_Who cares if my time is almost up...? I have two friends that I want to spend as much time as I can with... speaking of which..._ _Dramatic car entrance in 3... 2... 1..._

Out of nowhere, a expensive looking car screeched to a stop in front of him.

Kai jumped out with in human speed and glomped Shigen. "Emo! Link is so mean! He said you would never walk again!"

Link rolled down the driver's window still laughing. "And after I said that... he fainted."

"Good work sexy... One of these days... You might just become as evil as me..."

"Would you two stop laughing at me? Jeez... Some friends you are."

"So... What did you two do last night for your birthday...?"

It was Kai's turn to laugh at Link. "He got uber drunk and passed out. I had to drive home."

"Is that why there were so many ER patients last night...?"

"Hey! I didn't hit anyone.. On purpose..."

Link rolled his eyes and started the engine. "Come on you two, my head is still killing me. Bed would be nice right now."

Shigen and Kai hopped into the car.

"So shadow... Was there any loss of virginity...? Wait... Never mind... I already know the answer..."

"Shut up! Do you know how hard it would have been to fuck him? Oh Link! I forgot to tell you!"

"Yes?"

"You giggle when you're drunk... It was really creepy too, gave me nightmares and everything..."

Link blushed. "We are never to speak of last night ever again."

"Agreed."

"Am I the only one who did something interesting last night...?"

"Shut up emo, or I'll tell Link to drive to the beach."

"Would you stop with the crabs...?"

"Not on your life."

"If you two don't keep your voices down, I'm going to loose my temper while driving."

Both of them immediately went silent.


	16. School dance party xD

**Chapter 16: School dance party xD**

Link jumped into consciousness as he felt the bed disappearing from under him. He stood up quickly, which is not a good thing to do as soon as you wake up, and as a result, he lost his balance and did some kind of weird dance before crashing through the closet door and landing in a heap.

Kai and Shigen looked at each other, then looked back at the grumbling elf.

"I didn't mean to push you that hard Link, sorry!"

Shigen hit him over the head with his casted arm.

"Ouch! Would you stop doing that? It hurts like a bitch."

"But I like the hollow sound your head makes..."

"I'm gonna break your other arm if you don't fuck off."

"Now, now shadow..."

"Why was I pushed out of bed?"

Kai's bad mood immediately evaporated as he remembered why he was waking Link up in the first place.

"Well hero, we have to get ready for the Halloween dance tonight."

"Kai it's 8:00 in the morning, the dance starts at 8 tonight."

Shigen hit the shadow again. "I tried to tell him that, but he wouldn't listen..."

Link stood, and brushed himself off. "When does he ever listen?"

"Hello! I'm right here!"

Link tackled him onto the bed.

"Sexy... You sure are excited today..."

Link stopped his attempts to kill Kai with a pillow and looked at him. "And you aren't? This is the first time we'll be doing any thing for Halloween..."

"We should watch a movie in preparation for the big day!"

"Like what movie shadow...?"

"The one that has the characters that we're dressing as..."

Shigen sighed and hit Kai over the head again. "I'm not going to spend 5 hours watching a boring movie about a bunch of short people saving the world..."

"You help Aragorn."

Link shook his head. "I agree with Shigen, we've really over watched that movie."

"Bu-but Legolas."

"It's Link."

"I don't know why you're so excited to be a creeper shadow..."

"Hey! Ringwraith's are cool!"

"They're a bunch of creepy old men with a horse and dragon fetish wearing black capes... They also enjoy impaling short people... Or cutting their heads off..."

Link picked up the movie off the desk and held it in front of Kai's face. "Are you going to put it in the DVD player or not?"

Kai snatched it and ran downstairs.

"Great sexy... Now we have to watch the damn thing for the hundredth time since last week..."

"You don't have to watch Shigen, you could always take Seun for a walk." He gestured to the pleasantly plump puppy who was taking a nap on the bed.

"Yeah... That's sounds fun..."

Link shrugged and followed Kai down the stairs.

Shigen stood up and went to join them. _No way I'm going to walk the mutt..._

After 5 hours of fun Lord of the rings action, and Kai crying at all the lovey dovey scenes, it was time to get ready for the school dance... Which is on a Saturday night if any of you are wondering why there's no school.

"Link you look really sexy with long hair." Kai held up a strand of said hair and twirled it around his fingers.

Link stared at him blankly. "And you look really... Creepy in that black outfit..."

"That's the best thing about dressing up as a ringwraith! I don't have to use makeup or anything."

Link looked at the clothes he was wearing. "And I'm back in a green tunic, at least I have a bad ass cape... And a bow! I can shoot people in the ass if they laugh at me."

"No hero! Be nice." Kai skipped out of the living room and knocked on Shigen's door. "Hey emo? You almost ready? I'm coming in!"

He opened the door and came face to face with very emo looking Aragorn.

"Um... I don't think Aragorn's an emo..."

Link peered over Kai's shoulder then broke into laughter.

"Well he's emo now... And shadow... Knowing that you're the one wearing that costume makes it so much creepier..."

"Thanks..."

Link stopped laughing and dragged the two out to the car. "We're going to be late you guys."

Kai sat in the front and immediately put his seatbelt on, then took a hold of the holy shit handle. "Drive fast then hero."

Shigen got in the back, and somehow managed to get all three seat belts on.

"I can only drive recklessly when I'm scared or angry though."

"Picture a cat chasing us all the way there then."

Link's eyes widened. "Ca-cat?"

Kai nodded and closed his eyes tightly. "Yes... A big, scary looking cat. And it wants to claw your eyes out."

The car lurched forward and pulled out of the rive way with a screech.

Kai yelped and held on tighter. "Shigen! If we live, I'm teaching you how to drive!"

Shigen would have answered, but he was too busy kissing the seat.

They got there on time though.

Link pulled into the parking lot, almost hitting some students in the process.

Kai opened one eye and looked at the hero. "The cat's gone Link, chill..."

"I know."

All of them got out of the car and looked at the school.

There was a big sign on the front that read 'welcome to the Halloween dance' but dance had been crossed out and replaced with 'orgy'.

"See! I'm not the only one who uses that word too much!"

"It's just really annoying when you say it shadow..."

"Zomg! Emo! Look! Someone dressed up as Zack Fair!"

Link and Shigen looked in the direction he was pointing, and sure enough, there was a very spiky haired Zack standing by the school entrance talking to an equally spiky haired Cloud.

"Let's go hug him!" Kai ran over to the unsuspecting dude and tackle glomped him.

"Hey! Whoa! Get the fuck off me asshole!."

Kai ruffled the black spikes then ran back over to Link and Shigen.

Zack looked at Cloud. "Did I just get rapped by a dementor from Harry Potter?"

"I think so."

"Shadow... I think that poor guy is scarred for life..."

"Shut up and go socialize emo!" Kai pushed him towards the other two and waved.

"I don't think Shigen knows how to socialize Kai."

"Me neither... Come on! Let's go spike all the drinks!"

Shigen glared at them as they left.

"So what's your name Aragorn?"

Shigen looked at the Zack blankly. "Why would you ask if you already knew...?"

"Um... I meant your real name, dumbass."

"In that case it's Shigen..."

"Awesome. My name's Tanryuk, but you can just call me Ryuk. And this little bitch here is Sabishii."

Sabishii pouted. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"

"Every day bitch. Oops, I'm acting out of character here. Shall we do squats?"

"Sorry Ryuk, I can't. I see my boyfriend. Talk to you guys later!"

They watched as the Cloud ran over to a person dressed as Sephiroth and jumped into his arms.

"That means it's just you and me Shiren!"

"It's Shigen..."

"..."

* * *

"Come on Kai. I'm pretty sure the juice has already been spiked multiple times by now. We don't need the kids here to get any drunker."

"But it hasn't been spiked with the good stuff! I got something that's 98 percent alcohol!" He tipped the small canister into the juice bowl.

"Kai!"

"I can't help being evil hero, you'll just have to deal with it now that we're together."

"I prefer the time when you were trying to cut my head off with your sword."

"I was trying to get closer to your head so I could molest your lips. They were chapped you know. And I'll never forget the look on your face when I pinned you on the ground and had my way with you. Well... Way of kissing anyways..."

"Yeah, it was great." Link's voice was filled with pure sarcasm.

Kai was going to kiss him, but he remembered he had the black mask thingy on, so he instead sighed sadly.

Link noticed Kai's sudden mood change and rolled his eyes. _I guess it can't hurt... _"I'll make out with you when we get home."

"Really?"

"Yes. Hey look there's Shigen and that kid."

"Our little boy is all grown up. Look how happy he is Link!"

"He looks absolutely thrilled."

They watched as Ryuk dragged poor Shigen around, introducing him to all of his friends, and chatting happily with him.

And Shigen's expression looked like a mix between a grimace and pain.

"And look! There's Ganondorf and Ze- oh my god!"

Link turned to See Zelda and Ganondorf walking towards them dressed in what can only be described as bondage gear.

Link couldn't help but laugh. "Zelda, I believe Kai wears more clothes then that when he's taking a shower."

Kai looked at him confused. _Oh I get it! He's saying she's wearing nothing! Or something like that..._

"And you would know what Kai wears or doesn't wear in the shower now wouldn't you Link?"

Link's face turned beet red.

"Well of course he does! Me and Link get showers together! If you think he's good looking with his clothes on, you should see him with his clothes off."

"No thanks, I have my own eye candy." She turned to nuzzle noses with Ganon.

Link walked over to the nearest corner and sat down quietly.

A bunch of random kids walked onto the stage (They're doing this in the gym just to tell you)

"Ladies and gentlemen! We're going to start up the music now! So enjoy yourselves! And try to keep your clothes on!"

Man eater blasted on the speakers and everyone started dancing.

Kai forced Link onto his feet and tied to get him to dance, but Link seemed to have lost all his will to live.

"Link dance with me or I'll get you drunk and take advantage of you!" _I hope he hears me over the fucking music._

Link perked up and started dancing. "Don't even try it Kai!"

_Damn..._

**Over to the pissed off Shigen...**

"Can you be my boyfriend for the rest of the night?"

Shigen's eye twitched. "What...?"

"What did you say? I can't hear you over the music!"

"I said what..."

"Yes? Good!" Ryuk latched onto Shigen's lips like they were his only life line.

_I'm either going to kill this idiot... Or Kai for even suggesting we come here..._

* * *

Link opened his eyes, then quickly closed them. _Damn my head hurts... I hope I didn't get drunk again..._

He felt around to make sure he was still wearing his clothes. _Still have my boxers on, that's good._

He heard Kai grumble beside him. "Your head hurt?"

The shadow moaned and put a pillow on his face.

"Go downstairs and get the Advil."

"Ok..." He to checked himself to make sure he was still dressed, then threw the pillow at Link and walked downstairs to the kitchen, after he found the bottle he walked back towards the stairs, but stopped when he heard voices in Shigen's room.

He was about to open the door out of curiosity, but before he could, it flew open.

A young man walked out, he had short dark red hair and light green eyes, not to mention he was completely naked.

"This is fucking awkward."

Kai continued staring at him. "Damn crooked."

Shigen appeared behind the person. "Shadow... This is Ryuk... The Zack guy you tackled last night..."

"But his hair was all black and spiky!"

"It's called a wig..."

"Shigen, why do you get all the ass?"

Ryuk decided that he was better off going back to the room, so he slowly inched away and closed the door.

"Kai! Where's that Advil? I'm dying up here!"

"Sorry sugar cake!"

"Sugar what?"

Kai ignored him. "Emo... I will be your eternal slave if you teach me how to seduce Link."

"Sound's good to me..."

A loud crash was heard coming from the upstairs area.

"Did he just fall into the closet again?"


	17. Finally some smex Kind of

**Chapter 17: Finally some smex.**

Link was sitting on the couch like any other normal Sunday, reading his favorite book.

Kai and Shigen were in his room, probably doing something that would upset the elf one way or another.

_This is the best part... Lireal is going to kick this guys as-_

"Hey there pumpkin."

He jumped and turned his head to stare at Kai, the book totally forgotten. "What did you just call me?"

"Pumpkin."

"Well don't."

"Fine." Kai handed him a rose. "Do you like this better?"

Link looked at Kai, then at the rose, then at Kai, then the rose. "Do I need to take you to the hospital or something?"

"No." The shadow gently caressed his cheek. "Please just take me in your arms."

Link quickly moved out of his arms and over to the other side of the couch. "Who are you? And what have you done with Kai?"

If Kai had doggy ears, they would be drooping. "But... Link... Don't you like that sappy stuff?"

It took Link five seconds to clue in. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Maybe."

"And who gave you the pointers?"

"Emo might have."

The hero stared at him flatly. "Go tell Shigen that his tactics couldn't seduce a rock."

Shigen chose that time to walk into the living room laughing his ass off, he was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks. "I can't believe you actually did it."

Link stood up and ran to the other side off the room, Kai was close behind him, jumping into Link's arms when he came to a stop.

"Is the damn emo showing emotion?"

"Forget that.. He's crying real tears."

"Shall we run for our lives dearest?"

"Yes, at once."

They slowly inched past Shigen, who was standing there with a huge grin on his face, and ran out the door.

"Don't forget to do all the other stuff shadow, that stuff actually works." _Shit... What happened to my monotone...?_

* * *

Kai led Link away from the car. "Let's just go for a walk! It's less fatal..."

"I would never crash the car you know."

"So you do care for me!"

"No... I just wouldn't want to scratch the paint."

The shadow pouted.

Link chuckled and stopped walking to nuzzle noses with him. "Of course I love you sugar."

Kai's face turned bright red. "You're right, that sounds so weird."

"We're never going to say stuff like this to each other again right?"

"Damn crooked."

Link rolled his eyes. "Could you please stop with that?"

"No!"

"Fine, fine... So..." He paused for a minute. "What are the other things Shigen told you to do?"

"Oh you know." He smirked mischievously. "Stuff..."

"More details then that please."

"Ok, well to tell you the truth, I forget most of what he was saying, because his stupid boring voice kept dragging on, but I did catch the part where he suggested I let you dominate me a lot."

Link raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell would he say that?"

"I don't know! He just said you would like being on top!"

"Probably because he can see into the-

Kai poked him. "The...?"

Link's face was totally serious. "Are we having sex tonight Kai?"

The shadow jumped up and down excitedly. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"I don't know Kai..." He scratched the back o his head nervously. "You sure it's Okay to jump into something that serious so soon in our relationship?"

"What the fuck dude? I'm not a girl you know. It's not like there's a risk of me getting pregnant."

"I know but-

"Please Link? I've been waiting like 1000 years!"

"Well that's your fault now isn't it? Maybe you should have made a move on me sooner?"

"Yeah, well that's kind of hard when you're all angsty over your dead princess."

Link grabbed a hold of is arm and dragged him back towards the house.

"That's when I still loved her."

Kai smirked. "You know what's really sad?"

The hero stopped to glare at him. "Don-

"The fact that she fell head over heels for your sworn enemy. You must look really gay to women."

"Kai just stop there, or I'll change my mind."

"I'll be good."

He opened the door and peeked inside. There was no sign of the emotional Shigen anywhere. The house was completely silent.

Kai peered over his shoulder. "Maybe he went out with his boyfriend?"

"Perhaps."

They walked in closed the door, and ran up the stairs.

Link sat down on the bed, pulling Kai onto his lap to straddle him. "You know... I never thought we'd be doing this... But I guess it's now or never." He slowly slid a hand under the shadow's shirt, feeling all the solid muscle shuddering under his fingertips

Kai arched his back, letting out a whimper of pleasure. "Damn it hero... That tickles." He leaned down and began tracing butterfly kisses down Link's neck, stopping to nibble on his shoulder with his fangs leaving angry red marks behind.

The hero sighed inwardly, enjoying the feeling of Kai's tongue flickering over his flesh and started unbuttoning Kai's shirt. "This is getting in my way, you don't mind do you?" The shirt fell onto the floor, already forgotten.

Kai quickly did the same to Link's not missing the chance to run his fingers a crossed the hero's chest when ever the opportunity presented it's self. "You know what I would like you to do hero?" He smirked when he saw Link's lips twitch slightly. "Dominate me like a little bitch." He unzipped the hero's pants and slipped a hand inside, groping at the hardness he found there.

Link growled softly and flipped the shadow onto the bed, pinning him under him and holding his hands above his head. "Like this you mean?" Their lips met and Kai slid his tongue in, they fought for dominance, their tongues tangling in a fiery dance, but Kai eventually gave in, and allowed Link to explore and taste him.

They finally pulled apart breathless.

Kai pouted slightly. "You win that one I guess." _Damn, I wanna get his pants off!_ "Hero.. Unless you're taking both out pants off, I suggest you let go of my hands."

Link shrugged and leaned down to run his tongue a crossed Kai's chest, he stopped to suck on a nipple, twirling the wet appendage around it until it was hard, electing some wonderful mewling and gasping sounds from the owner, he moved to the next one, his tongue never leaving the shadow's skin, leaving a trail of saliva a crossed his chest. "But I like being in control of you..." He licked Kai's ear then whispered quietly. "It turns me on..." He sucked and nibbled it, wanting the shadow to beg him for more.

"Oh goddesses..." He was panting heavily. "Would you take the rest of your clothes off? It's getting hot..." He began struggling against Link's hands.

"Beg." Link slowly ran his tongue down the shadow's neck and back up to his ear.

"Jeez Link, you're one of those crazy sex freaks aren't you?" He yelped as the hero bit down on the crook of his neck hard, drawing blood. "Fine! Please take your clothes off! I'm begging you!" He glared at Link.

Faster then you could say 'Ganondorf in a thong' Link pulled his pants off, and almost tore Kai's off. "Now I can ravish your body like you always wanted me to, eh Kaiten?" He purred out the shadow's name grinning like a madman.

Kai, who now had his hands free, pulled the manic hero in for another deep kiss. He bucked his hips against the elf, chuckling inwardly when he heard Link gasp and say his name quietly. "Oh hero... It feels like you have a little problem.." He gridded against him to help get his point a crossed.

"Damn it Kai! Would you stop doing that!" He grabbed hold of said Kai's hips and held them still. "I'm not going to be able to control myself if you do that again." He shuddered as Kai started softly grazing his chest with his nails.

"Poor hero... So innocent... So pure..." He reached over to the bed side table and rummaged through the drawer, smirking as he pulled out a small lotion bottle. He laughed as total confusion graced the elf's sexy features.

"Don't laugh at me you demon!" Link grabbed the bottle from the shadow and poured some of the contents on his fingers. "I'm guessing this is how you do it right?" He slid a finger in, not too fast so he wouldn't hurt him. "I'm not hurting you am I?"

Kai gritted his teeth and ignored the pain from the sudden intrusion of his body. "Well it's going to hurt no matter what you do... So just hurry up!"

Link nodded his head and slid another finger in soon adding a third. "Are you almost ready?" He leaned down and kissed him gently, running his tongue along Kai's lip, and then nibbling it.

Kai complied and opened his mouth, granting the hero access. He didn't bother fighting the hero for dominance, letting the elf explore his mouth freely. After a while, he began to get impatient. "Would you hurry up and fuck me? I'm ready now!" He tried moving his hips, but Link still had him pinned down.

A worried expression crossed Link's face, obviously not ready for the next part, but he decided to put Kai out of his misery and shut him up for a while.

Well keep him from talking anyways. He positioned himself, smiling when Kai whimpered at him impatiently. Then he thrust in, hard.

Kai yelped and dug his nails into Link's shoulder, his vision covered with black dots. He wasn't aware that he was crying until he felt Link's tongue lick away the traitor tears that had run down his cheeks. He waited until the pain had subsided a bit, before he asked. "Why the hell did you do it so hard?"

Link tilted his head in confusion. "Well you said hurry up, so I did." He noted the blood running down his arms, and he turned to glare at his darker self. "That was highly unnecessary."

"Pay back's a bitch." he wiggled around and watched as the hero's eyes became slightly glazed over with lust. "Come on hero... Play with me..." He thrust his hips upwards, and was rewarded with a moan.

_Damn it I let that one slip_. He looked at Kai who was smiling at him tauntingly. "You think that's funny do you?" He pulled out slowly then thrust in again, then started a rhythm that was too slow for the both of them. Kai was writhing in pleasure underneath him, moaning his name and panting.

"Ah damn it!" Kai arched his back as the hero hit the bundle of nervs inside him, making him see stars. "Hit that again Link... That felt real good, and would you pick up the pace? I'm fallin asleep here!"

"Would you shut up and stop talking?" He picked up speed, hitting the spot over and over, not giving Kai the chance to reply. Kai arched his back, giving him more access.

"So tight..." _I'm not going to last much longer_. And from the sounds that Kai was making, neither was he.

Kai moved to meet each of Link's thrusts. Both of them were moving faster, Link started growling signalling how close he was. "Link I'm gonna..." They came growling and moaning each others names.

Link collapsed on top of him. Kai had to take a few deep breaths before he was able to talk again. "See? Wasn't that fun hero?"

Link could only grumble in response, he was still trying to catch his breath. He rolled off the shadow onto his side of the bed and pulled the covers over himself.

"Heh heh... I tiered you out did I?" He stroked Link's cheek softly, watching as Link closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. _Mission to steal hero's virginity... Complete... Man my ass is going to hurt in the morning..._

* * *

Shigen opened the door to Link and Kai's room. He pulled out a random pan and wooden spoon that he found in the kitchen, and started whacking the pan as hard as he could.

Kai yelped and fell off the bed, tangled in sheets.

Link opened his eyes, grumbled, put a pillow over his head, and went back to sleep.

"So did you two have fun last night...?"

Kai rolled into a sitting position and whimpered. "Whatever emo."

"Well it sounded like you did..."

Link sat up quickly. "You were here?"

"Yeah... Lying in bed drawing pictures for that game I wanna make..."

"Do you even breath? I didn't hear any noise."

"I held my breath until you two went upstairs..."

Kai grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at him. "Shigen! You're such a creeper!"


	18. Almost Christmas time

**Chapter 18: Almost Christmas time**

"When I grow up! I wanna see the world! Drive nice cars! I wanna have boobies!"

"Shadow... It's groupies..."

Kai stopped dancing and glared at Shigen. "No, she says boobies."

Link entered the living room carrying a Christmas tree stand. "What about boobies?"

"Shadow says when he grows up... He wants to have boobies..."

"Well good thing there's a very small chance that he'll ever grow up then."

Kai pouted then grabbed the tree stand away from Link. "What's this for hero?"

"It's for a Christmas tree, it's almost Christmas you know..."

"Sexy... Christmas is still 3 weeks away..."

"I still don't get it you guys! Is a Christmas tree different from a normal tree? Is it magical? Can it talk? Wait! I know! It's a robotic thing that sings songs. Like the one we saw in the store yesterday. But I don't know what this plastic thing is for... Is this a hat or something?"

Link and Shigen both had to suppress a laugh.

"No Kai, a Christmas tree is just a tree you bring inside your house and decorate... The stand is to help it stand up."

"Why the fuck would we want a tree in our house?"

"So Santa can put presents underneath it... Sexy... Has he ever heard of Christmas...?"

"No, I tried to avoid it with him... And don't tell him about Santa. Knowing Kai he'll start believing in the old creeper."

"Hey! I'm right here ya know!"

"Chillax shadow..."

"Shut up emo!"

"You two drive me crazy."

"In bed."

"God Kai."

"So sexy... What are we doing for Christmas...?"

Link sat down on the couch, dragging Kai with him to sit on his lap. "Well I was thinking about having a party."

"Oo! Orgy?"

"For the last time Kai, we are never going to have an orgy."

"Oh come on." He wiggled around on the elf. "We could invite Ganondorf over! And we could have a thre-

"Stop there shadow..." Shigen sat on the floor and put his head between his knees. "I feel sick..."

Link was twitching.

"Come on! It would be fun! And I bet emo can't wait to have a threesome with us."

"I can wait... I have a boyfriend now remember..?"

"You mean that guy you had over during the Halloween dance? What's his name? Duke?"

"His name is Ryuk..."

Kai shrugged. "Same diff. Why don't we ever see him?"

"Remember our answering machine...?"

"Yeah." He laughed nervously. "Om nom nom."

"That about sums it up..."

Kai turned around to see why Link was being so quiet.

He was asleep.

"Well I guess we bored him a bit too much..."

Kai grabbed Link's cheek and pulled gently. "Come on hero, wake up!"

Link slowly opened his eyes. "That was a nice 2 minute nap." He yawned and pushed Kai off him. "Let's go to the mall and get some Christmas decorations. We don't have any here."

Shigen picked the car keys off the coffee table. "I'm driving..."

"No emo! You killed an old lady last time! You don't even have your drivers license."

"Actually... I got my beginners the other day... come on... I need to practice..."

Kai looked at Link who was shivering with fear. "We're gonna die."

Shigen sighed and dragged them both out to the car. "Chicken shits..."

"Damn crooked."

And after a very uneventful and almost relaxing drive, they arrived at the mall.

"Wow Shigen, that wasn't too bad."

"Thank you sexy..."

Kai jumped out of the car and kissed the ground. "I'm alive! Well... At least I think I am..."

"Very alive shadow..."

Link started walking towards the formidable looking shopping center.

Kai looked at it and started laughing. "Hey Link! Does that place look familiar?"

He stopped advancing to stare at it. "Now that you mention it..."

"It's Hyrule castle you moron."

"Oh! That's it!"

Shigen tilted his head in confusion. "Castle...?"

"Yeah emo! The castle where the princess used to live."

"Nice..."

They entered the mall and the first that came into view was a giant blown up Santa.

They all gaped at it.

Link and Kai broke out in laughter, and soon they were rolling on the floor.

Shigen stood there once again confused. "I don' get it you guys..."

Link stopped to wipe the tears out of his eyes. "It looks like the sage Rauru. Sorry... it kind of took me off guard."

Kai was still dying of laughter so they had to drag him to the nearest decoration store.

"Are we looking for any particular decorations sexy...?"

"Nope, just grab what you see."

Kai appeared in front of them carrying a giant stuffed reindeer. "Isn't he cute? I'm gonna call him George! And we will conquer the world together! Isn't that right George?"

George remained silent.

Link and Shigen sweat dropped and continued grabbing random decorations.

"Don't tell me you've betrayed me George!" He hugged the stuffy.

"Are you purposely acting mental? Or are you always like that?"

Ryuk walked over with his two friends trailing behind him and petted the shadow on the head.

"Oh hey Duke." Kai shook the hand off. "And I'm always like this."

"It's Ryuk." He gestured towards the shorter male. "And this is Sabishii." An then to the really tall one. "And this is Kahl. You might remember them, they were at the Halloween party. Sabishii was Cloud and Kahl was Sephiroth."

"You really expect me to remember someone I met a whole month ago? Jeez...You're crazy..."

"I'm not the one who's fucking strangling and talking to a stuffed animal."

Kai covered George's ears. "Don't call him stuffed. You'll hurt his feelings!"

Sabishii giggled and petted the George. "He's right Ryu... Be nice to George."

(I'll let you guys picture what Sabishii and Kahl look like)

Shigen peered over Kai's shoulder. "Is this idiot bothering you sweetheart...?"

Kai growled at him.

"No, more like entertaining me. So what are you doing here?"

Link walked over to them, dragging 50 bags of decorations with him. "We're Christmas shopping..." He collapsed on the floor beside Kai, who gently placed George on the top of the pile.

"Now we're going home to decorate!"

"Calm down shadow..."

"Make me!" He picked up some bags and half dragged Link back to the car. "Come on emo! Stop flirting with your girlfriend already."

Ryuk twitched. "Girlfriend? Why do I have the feeling that me and him are not going to get along with each other?"

"Because you probably won't... Oh... Ryuk? Are you and your friends coming to our Christmas party..?"

They all nodded.

"Good... Well see you..." He paused when he realized they never set a date for it. "I'll call you..."

* * *

"And the pretty princess goes here!"

"Shadow... That's the angle that goes on top of the tree..."

"Oh... Hey a tree! I'll go get one!"

Shigen just shook his head. "Good luck with that one..."

Link skipped into the living room carrying a tray. "Christmas cookies!"

"Sexy...? Are you drunk or something...?"

Link hiccuped. "Nope. Just really happy."

"Right... You're never happy..."

Link threw the tray of cookies at him. "Eat cookies!" He ran back into the kitchen giggling.

Shigen stood there staring blankly at him.

"Hey emo! Help me get this tree in!"

Said emo sighed and walked to the back of the house and opened the door.

Kai was standing there, sword in hand, and behind him was a...

"Shadow... That's a Birch tree..."

"Yeah, well you said we needed a tree."

"I meant a fir tree..."

"A furry tree? Don't think I saw any of those."

Shigen whacked him over the head. "A fir tree... You know...? The green ones...?"

"Oh! You mean the poofy ones!"

"Yes... And did you cut that one down with a sword...?"

"It's not hard emo. All you have to do is hack at it."

"Cookies!"

Kai grabbed a handful of cookies off the plate. "Yes! Thanks hero!"

Link smiled and leaned in to place a sloppy kiss on Kai's cheek. "I think I know just what to get you for Christmas." He licked the shadow's ear.

Kai almost choked on his cookie. "What's gotten into you?"

Shigen snatched the cookie out of his hand and chewed contently. "I think he's drunk shadow..."

The hero chuckled and pushed Kai against the wall, kissing and sucking on his neck.

"Um, Link? What are you doing?" He tried to get away, but Link pinned his hands over his head and continued his assault.

Shigen headed back the living room, making sure to stop in the bathroom to grab a set of ear plugs. _You need lots of these around those two..._

Loud moaning echoed through the house.

"Keep it down shadow..." _We still never got that damn tree..._

30 minutes later, Kai limped into the living room in only his jeans. "Man, talk about needy..."

Shigen couldn't hear him because he still had the ear plugs in.

Kai walked over and grabbed the emo on the sides making him yelp.

Shigen glared at him. "What...?"

"I'm going to get the furry tree now!"

"That's nice..." He watched as Link sat down on the couch, sighing contently. "Is sexy sober yet...?"

"As sober as he's gonna get."

The elf blinked a couple times. "What was I doing again?"

"Ass..."

"Ass?"

"Yes sexy... Ass... Or to be more specific... shadow's ass..."

"Wow. I don't remember. Was it good?"

Shigen pointed to the abandoned ear plugs. "Very..."

"Well I guess I'm not going to get to upset then."

"The furry tree is here!"

(O.o Wow that was fast)

Kai walked in dragging the fir tree behind him, making a huge mess on the floor.

"Great shadow...now we have to clean the house too..."

Kai shrugged and grabbed onto his wrist. "Come on! Let's go out side!"

"Why..?"

He didn't answer. Instead he latched onto Link with his other hand and dragged them both outside.

"See? It's snowing."

Link stuck out his tongue to catch one of the flakes.

"Taste good sexy...?"

He was abut to reply, but was cut off when a snowball flew out of nowhere and hit him in the face.

Shigen took cover behind Link as another volley of snowballs flew at them.

Link finally recovered from the shock of being snowballed, and bent down to make his own ammo.

Kai popped out from behind the tree he was hiding behind. "Come on hero! I challenge you to a duel!"

"You're on demon!"

Shigen retreated to a 'safe' corner to watch the battle.

The snowballs were soon flying.

Kai had greater reflexes then Link so he was soon dominating.

Emo watched them with a bored expression. _I don't think it's safe to sit here anymore... Something bad is going to-_

There was a loud groaning sound as a roof-full of snow landed on top of him.

Link and Kai stopped their battle and laughed at him.

"Poor emo! How did you not see that one coming?"


	19. Christmas gifts! And a party!

**Chapter 19: Christmas gifts! And a party!**

Shigen stared at Link with amusement clearly written all over his face. _Wait for it..._

Link picked up the tray of cookies off the counter and started walking towards the table where Shigen was sitting. _Why is he looking at me like that? Something bad is going to happen..._

Kai chose that moment to fly into the kitchen, with a barking Seun hot on his tail.

Shigen smirked. _There goes shadow..._

Said shadow flung himself at Link. "Scooby-doo style!"

Link had to drop the tray of cookies in order to catch his always over excited boyfriend, but he lost his balance as he became top heavy.

_There goes sexy..._

Seun, who was now about the size of a miniature horse, slipped on the cookie covered floor.

_There goes mutt face..._

Said mutt skidded into the already falling hero and laughing Kai causing them all to fall and end up in a confused mess of tangled arms and legs.

_And there goes another small piece of my sanity..._

Link was the first to untangle himself and glare at Shigen. "Why do you never warn me?"

Shigen shrugged. "What would be the fun in that...?"

"I'm not even going to try answering that." He looked at the sad crumbs of the freshly baked cookies the dog was devouring. "And do you realize that's the 5th batch of cookies I've attempted to make?"

Kai jumped up. "Forseriously?"

"Kai, don't even start with that."

"But it's the new cool word in school!"

"Damn crooked..."

"Oh no you don't emo. That's my word/phrase thing."

"Hello you guys! We have a party starting in a couple of hours, and I have yet to cook or bake anything for it."

"What do you want us to do sexy...?" But Shigen already knew the answer.

"Get out of the house, and lock the dog down in the basement."

Kai countered with the puppy dog eyes. "Bu-but Link... it's cold... and I don't want to be stuck with Mr. 'a wall has more emotions then you'."

Link quickly averted his gaze. _Don't look at the eyes... come on Link you're stronger than this... don't look... _"It wont be for long, you can come back around 4."

"But!"

"Come on shadow..." Shigen grabbed hold of the back of Kai's shirt and pulled him out of the kitchen.

"At least let me get my coat first you bastard."

"Fine... I shall get mine as well..."

Kai barely had time to put his arms in it, before he was dragged away by an impatient emo kid.

It was snowing lightly when they stepped outside. The snow on the ground was still fresh from an earlier snowfall that day, so their feet made crunching sounds as they walked.

"I feel so used and abused."

Shigen chuckled. "You are used... I don't know about abused though..." He blew on his hands to warm them.

"I think the only reason Link keeps me around is because of the sex."

"You guys do it often enough... That reminds me... I have to get more ear plugs..."

"Ear plugs? We're not that loud are we?"

They crossed the street.

"Shadow... I'm surprised no one has called the cops saying somebody is getting murdered at your house... And it's not sexy... it's you..."

Kai blushed and scratched the bridge of his nose embarrassed. "Damn... I guess I was too busy enjoying my self to notice."

They kept walking until they came to the small shopping center that was alive with busy people.

"Why the fuck are there so many people here?"

"Well shadow... if you look closely... you'll notice that 90% of the crowd is male... Males usually leave Christmas shopping to the very last second... hence they are shopping on Christmas Eve... And the other 10% are people who were too busy with work... or perhaps they are procrastinators..."

"Jeez Shigen, you must love to hear yourself talk."

"Yes..."

Kai lightly punched him on the arm. "Narcissism is not healthy you know."

Shigen was going to hit him over the head with his casted arm, but he remembered he had gotten rid of it a while ago. "You're lucky this time shadow..."

Kai stuck his tongue out at him playfully.

"So shadow... did you get your hero a present yet...?"

They stopped to look in the window of an electronics store.

"No. I can't think of what to get him."

"What does he like?"

"Me naked on the bed with chocolate syrup all over my body. He can be a kinky bastard sometimes."

A man who was walking past them stopped to give them a weird look.

Shigen shook his head. "No... it has to be something not related to sex..."

"Um, books?"

"That's a good start... what kind of books does he like...?"

"Well he likes books with vampires, and fantasy shit..."

Shigen pulled him towards the book store. "Has he read Darren Shan yet...? Or perhaps the one that Nora Roberts wrote... City of bones is a good one... And no one could forget Twilight..." _Though I wish I could..._ He shoved the shadow into the store and led him to the fiction section.

"Calm yourself emo! Holy shit... And he's already read the stupid Twilight series."

"Darren Shan then... There's twelve books... You're going to buy them all..."

Kai saluted him. "Yes Sir!"

"Now shadow... what are you going to get me...?"

"A shirt that says "I like boobs, not ass."

"I know where you sleep..."

"What a creeper."

"Damn crooked..."

"That's my line!"

* * *

Link was thoroughly enjoying himself. The house was silent, which everyone knows is a rare happening.

_I wonder what Kai is doing right now? Probably pissing Shigen off._

He opened up the bag of flour... and sneezed...

The powdery substance went everywhere...

"Ok... Who the hell is talking about me?" (You sneeze when someone talks bad about you...)

* * *

Kai sipped on his hot chocolate sadly. _I miss Link..._

"Shadow stop acting miserable... We'll be going home soon..."

"What time is it?"

Shigen checked his watch. "3:41... We could head back now if you want..."

"Forseriously? Ok! But we'll have to stop at a store and pick you up some ear plugs, because I'm pouncing Link as soon as we get back."

"Great..."

Kai started skipping in the back towards the house, but he was having some trouble with all the bags he was carrying. He stopped and allowed Shigen to catch up with him. "Is Ryuk coming over for the night?"

"No... Just for the party... So I am without a cuddle buddy tonight..."

"Awz! Maybe I could ask Link if you can come sleep with us. Unless you wanted more, then we could talk about having a threesome."

"No threesomes..."

"Damn."

They passed a random dude dressed up as Santa.

"Hey there little boy. Would you like to sit on Santa's lap?"

Kai's eye went wide. "Zomg! It's a real life Pedo!" He hid behind Shigen. "I've never seen one up this close before."

Shigen rolled his eyes and punched the Santa dude. "Now... Stop trying to harass people and go home..."

Santa dude ran for his life.

"I wish I had a camera on me."

"Shadow... were you dropped on your head when you were a baby...?"

Kai flinched. "No, I never had any parents. Well unless you count Ganondorf who made me."

"You sure he didn't just kidnap you... then erase your memories... then turn you into a demon...?"

"It's possible. Why would you guess that anyways?"

"Just a feeling..."

They crossed the street again.

"Hey! We're almost home! Thank god, my arms are killing me." He pushed Shigen. "Race ya home!"

They both took off. Shigen was keeping up pretty good, but Kai was a demon, so he won...

They opened the door and were greeted with the aroma of every drool worthy Christmas dish they could think of.

Kai laughed when he saw the dazed look on emo's face. "Link works fast under pressure."

Link emerged from the kitchen covered head to toe in flower. "Hey guys, you're back."

He walked over to Kai and kissed him.

Shigen grabbed the bags Kai was carrying and went looking for a place to hide them.

"What happened to you hero? You get attacked by a snow demon or something?"

Link sighed and attempted to brush some of the white stuff off his clothes. "Cooking accident. So did you have fun?"

"You know, for once, emo was really talkative. And he helped me pick out gifts! And I got to see a pedo too!"

"Sounds fun... Well I'm going to get a shower now. Can you answer the door if someone knocks?"

Kai licked his cheek, then stuck out his tongue when he tasted the flour. "Yuck, sure thing sugar cookie."

"Sugar cookie?"

"Damn crooked."

The doorbell rang.

Kai opened the door.

"_We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas!"_

And Kai screamed.

"Oh no! Santa sent his horrible singing angels after me because I called him a pedo! Shigen it's all your fault!"

Shigen appeared behind him, staring blankly at the carolers. "They're just singers shadow... they're spreading the Christmas cheer..."

Kai covered his ears. "Can't they find a less painful way to spread it?" He glared at the singers. "Shut up!"

They went silent.

Shigen handed them some money. "There.. now please go to the next house..."

They nodded and hurried away.

"To the shower for me." Link booked it up the stairs.

The door bell rang again.

Kai opened it very slowly. "Who's there?"

"Ryuk..."

The door flew open.

"Get in here before the mad angels come back!" He pulled the somewhat startled Ryuk inside.

Shigen gave Ryuk the 'don't ask' look, and led the way into the living room.

"Nice tree." He gestured to the blue and silver decorated fir tree.

"Yeah! It was fun chopping it down."

The door bell rang.

"Be right back!"

A few seconds later, Kai entered the living room with Zelda and Ganondorf following behind.

"Hey everyone! The freaks are here!"

Zelda laughed and whacked Kai on the back of the head. "You're so mean sometimes Kaiten."

"Damn.. The full name..."

"Shadow... you might as well go to the door... the last of our guests will be ringing the door bell in a second..."

Kai slumped his shoulders and walked away.

"That's so cool how you do that Shigen. Have to ever used it to cheat on a test or something?" Zelda took a seat nest to him.

"Not unless I have to..."

"So noble. Just like my Ganny-pooh."

Ganondorf smiled and sat her on his lap.

Link entered the room, fully dressed... and carrying a platter of snacks. Kai was behind him with Sabishii and Kahl.

"I made snacks, but don't eat too much, because I also made a huge dinner."

Kahl elbowed Sabishii. "Link is totally the one on the bottom."

Link glared at them. "Actually I top... Every time."

"Great hero, why don't you go tell the whole world?"

"Because I would miss all the food."

The little Christmas get together went well, and there was only a small food fight between Kai and Shigen, so besides that...

* * *

Shigen walked Ryuk to the door slowly, he they got there he kissed him on the lips quickly. "Thanks for coming over..."

Ryuk grinned. "No problem love. I'll come over tomorrow to give you your gift."

A crash sounded behind them, followed by Link's disapproving voice.

"I better go help sexy get shadow to bed... he's slightly dangerous when he's had too much sugar..."

Ryuk nodded as they heard another crash. "Good night then."

Shigen walked over to the source of the noise and picked him up in his arms. "Let's go to bed shadow..."

"Thanks a bunch Shigen, I lack tallness... I can't pick him up."

"No problem sexy..."

When he put Kai on the bed, he turned on his side, grabbed George, snuggled him, and fell asleep.

Link scratched the back of his head. "Well that was easier than I thought it would be."

"There is a god sexy... I'm off to bed then..."

Link pointed to the extra space on the bed. "You can sleep here."

"Fine... But if one of you try to rape me... I will kill you..."

Kai reached up and pulled Shigen onto the bed. "Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep."

Link snuggled into Kai. "Merry Christmas crazy family of mine."

Shigen shivered. "Oh god... Please disown me..."


	20. I have no words for this

**Chapter 20: I have no words for this**

"Oooo! What's this? It looks like some kind of underwear... But leather!"

"It's probably bondage gear shadow..."

"It says it's from Ganondorf!"

"Go out side and burn it Kai."

"But I wanna try it on! Hey look! It comes with a whip!"

Link grabbed the leather bondage gear out of Kai's hands. "I'll go burn it then."

Kai shrugged and went on to the next gift.

"Hmmm... From Shigen?" He turned to look at the human sitting on the couch smiling at him. "It better not be something weird, like condoms or something."

"... It's not shadow... Just open it..."

Kai ripped the wrapping paper off with more enthusiasm then necessary.

"What the ... fuck? You killed a midget and took all her clothes off an stuffed her in a box? Ew! She's naked! My eyes!"

"Shadow... It's a Barbie... A naked Barbie..."

Kai threw the box at his head. "Fucker."

"Now, now Kai." Link hugged him from behind and nuzzled his neck. "I'm sure that was just a joke. Shigen, give him his real present."

"No! I know what I want from him!"

"What...?" He picked up the nearest pillow in case he needed it for self defence.

"A hug!" And with that, he leaped a crossed the living room and tackle huggled Shigen.

"Get off shadow.."

Kai squeezed harder. "Not until you hug me back."

"You do know I could have you arrested for sexual assault right?"

"I don't care, I'm still not letting go."

Shigen let out a very long sigh, then slowly wrapped his arms around the shadow.

"Ok! Ok! Your killing me! Can't breath!" He collapsed onto the floor as Shigen released him.

"That's what you get for invading my personal space..." He glared at the pillow. "Some help you were..."

Kai soon recovered and raced back over to his presents.

"Up next is Zelda's present!"

He tore the wrapping paper off and stared at the shirt blankly. "Why did she give me a plain white T-shirt?"

Link took it and unfolded it. "It says... I'm an uncle..."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Maybe it-

Link's eyes went wide with horror. "Oh goddesses! No!"

"What is it hero?"

"I believe the hidden note is "I'm pregnant with Ganondorf's child."

Kai tilted his head cutely. "Forseriously? Wait... Zelda and Ganondorf... had..."

Link ran over to the wall and started hitting his head against it.

The phone rang, interrupting the moment of anguish.

Shigen pressed the speaker button, his smile widening.

"_Hey you guys! It's Zelda! Have you heard the good news?"_

"Zelda? Why the fuck am I the uncle? I don't want to have any relation to your devil spawn."

"_Aw! Kai... You're so funny. What's Link think?"_

"I don't know, I'll ask him when he stops trying to commit suicide."

"_I knew he'd be excited!"_

Link looked towards the phone, his forehead was red. "Yeah... I'm thrilled."

"_Great! Well I'll call you guys later! And don't forget Link!"_

"I wont..."

"_Bye!"_

Kai pulled him away from the wall and into a hug. "What's she talking about Link? Are you pregnant too?"

"Totally."

"Really? I'm gonna be a daddy?"

"Kai, I was being sarcastic."

"I know! But what did she want you to remember?"

Link blushed and wiggled out of his arms.

Shigen laughed. "Wow sexy... It's about time..."

"Shut up emo! What's going on?"

Link pulled something out of his pocket. "This is really stupid. Why couldn't I get you something simple like books? But no... Zelda wanted me to get this."

"What."

"I'm not going to bother getting down on one knee. This is embarrassing enough."

"Get down on one knee? Why? Oh... Why would you want to do 'that' in front of Shigen, we should go up into the bedroom."

Shigen and Link both rolled their eyes.

"Not that shadow... Just shut up and let sexy talk..."

"Fine."

"Thank you Shigen." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "Don't expect the wedding any time soon. We'll wait until all these weirdo's are dead and gone..."

He opened the box and showed Kai the ring. And now that I agreed to be with you, I don't think I'll be able to be rid of you since we're immortal... And more importantly... I love you, so, will you ... um... marry me?"

Kai's eyes widened and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. _Hell to the yes! _"Y-yes..."

"That had to be the worst proposal I've ever seen sexy... Try again..."

Link picked up an empty box off the floor and threw it at his head. "Shut up, I tried my best."

He took the ring and placed it on Kai's finger.

"Love you Kaiten."

Kai stared at the ring silently. _Oooo shiny..._

"Kai?"

"Dude... Did I just get engaged?"

"You sure did shadow..."

"Sweet!" Kai tackled Link into a hug and gave him a rather large kiss.

Shigen applauded slowly.

Link broke away from Kai with an evil smirk on his face and jumped on Shigen.

"What are you doing sexy...?"

"Kai got a hug." He gave him puppy dog eyes.

Shigen quickly wrapped his arms around the hero.

Link used the opportunity to tickle his sides.

"Woot! Go Link!"

The human was soon laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"Say unc- wait! Don't. That's a bad word around here now. Say I love you."

"Sexy... You're.. Sadistic..."

Link wiggled his eyebrows and poked the teens sensitive sides again. "Just say it."

"I love you! Now stop!"

"Okay." Link tried to get up but only managed to fall backward on his ass with a yelp.

Shigen gave him his usual blank stare. "Jeez sexy... Are you drunk...?"

"A little."

Kai petted Shigen on the head. "Did anyone ever tell you, you have a very sexy laugh?"

"Not many people hear me laugh..."

"What an emo kid."


	21. Balls galore!

**Chapter 21: Balls galore!**

Link's eye twitched as he looked over his schedule for the new semester.

_Math first block, gym second, chemistry 3 rd, and child studies last? Who the hell picked out my classes? Oh right... me..._

He grabbed Kai's schedule out of his hands and looked it over.

_Hmmm, the only class we don't have together is math... He has English instead..._

His vision was obscured as Shigen waved his report card in front of his face.

"Look sexy... I got all high 80's..."

Link shrugged. "So what? I got all high nineties. And didn't you say something about failing classes to piss your father off?"

"I changed my mind... Seeing as you two are basically my family now there's no point."

Link Smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Good job then Shigen!"

Kai looked at his report card and hid it behind his back, laughing nervously.

"Kaiten, what did you get?"

"No-nothing! I got good marks!"

Link held out his hand and glared at the shadow.

Kai whimpered and reluctantly handed over the report.

"Let's see. 79 in Kokiri studies, 80 in history, 98 in art, and ... 0 in math? Oh, math is the class you skipped right?"

"Yeah, the teacher wouldn't let me in the damn classroom!"

Shigen shook his head sadly. "You failed with a PH shadow... get it...? You phailed..."

Link was forced to hold Kai back, so he wouldn't kill the emo. "So Shigen? Are you in any of our classes?"

Shigen took both their schedule's and looked them over. "Well... I have gym with you guys... Since I failed it last year... and chemistry... sexy... why did you take chemistry 11...?"

"I just circled random classes on the list!"

The bell rang.

Link cringed. "Crap, I have math first. Come on Shigen! Your class is down this way too!" He dragged Shigen away, not even bothering to say goodbye to Kai.

Kai stood there confused for a few seconds before making his way to English class with the crazy old teacher, who was still alive.

When he walked in the classroom, Zelda waved him over.

"Kai! Kai! Over here! Me and Ganny saved you a spot!"

He sat down beside Ganon, trying not to cringe. "Um, thanks."

Ganon, who apparently had no regard for personal space, leaned right into Kai and whispered. "I'll enjoy 'working' with you."

Kai couldn't stop the shiver from racing down his spine. "Y-yeah... Same... _Master_..."

Ganon's laughed echoed off the walls, scaring a few people. "Oh yes! Master! I like that one! You're to call me that from now on, okay Kai?"

_Damn... _"Sounds good to me master!" _Where's a hero when you need one?_

* * *

After an hour and thirty five minutes of hell for Kai, and pure boredom for Shigen and Link, it was time for everyone's least favorite class... Gym...

"Ok my wonderful looking youths! Today we're going to play a simple game so I can judge what physical skills you have out there! Can anyone guess what game we're playing?" The teacher had a huge grin on his face, probably thinking that no one would be able to guess it.

Shigen raised his hand.

"Yes! You there!"

"Dodge ball..."

"Ah... Yes! That's right! So all you lovelies go into the changing room and get into your gym clothes and we'll start!"

Shigen's eyes widened in horror. "No... not the gym clothes..."

Kai jumped up and down happily. "Yayz! I get to see Link get all sweaty in shorts and a T-shirt!" He dragged them both off into the boys changing room.

Once they were in there, the hyper shadow pounced on Link's back.

"Surprise butt sex in the changing room!"

All the other boys looked at them weirdly.

Link couldn't help but face palm.

Kai jumped off his back and walked to the other end of the room. "Hey Link! Guess what? They have showers in here! I guess we'll be busy after class..."

Shigen picked up the nearest available object and threw it at him. "Come on shadow... Get ready..."

"I will, I will!"

Once everyone was ready, the teacher divided the class in two. Unfortunately, it was Link and Shigen against Kai. This was defiantly going to end badly.

"Alright my little pumpkins! On the count of 3 you can start! 1! 2! 3! Go!"

And of course, all hell did break loose.

As soon as Kai had his hands on a ball he immediately went for Shigen.

Shigen noted this, but still stood there staring at him blankly.

"This is for that shoe in the head earlier!" And he threw it.

It doinked off Shigen's head.

Shigen shrugged, walked over to the bleachers and sat down.

Then it was Kai vs. Link. O.o

"Hey hero. It's just like old days eh?"

Link rolled his eyes and quickly sent two balls (Lulz) flying towards his darker self.

Kai dodged and threw one of his balls. (Lulz again sorry)

This went on forever until they were the only people left in the game.

The teacher, and several of the boys and girls were sitting there drooling.

Finally, as Kai turned to pick up another ball, Link nailed him in the ass. (I'm killing myself here)

"Ouch! Damn it Link! That was my ass! You fucking perv!"

"Well it was right out in the open, you didn't expect me to pass up that kind of opportunity, did you?"

"Oh shut it! Just remember this, you ain't getting any tonight."

"So?" _Damn..._

Many people on the bleachers had nosebleeds. Some of the fangirls screamed loudly.

"Ok my little sugar cakes! That was excellent! Class is almost over, so go get showered and changed for lunch!"

Shigen walked over to them, supporting a large bruise on his forehead, he looked a little sick. "The crazy teacher has cameras hooked up in the showers... so you might want to wait until we get home before you get one..."

"Thanks emo." Kai put his hand on Shigen's forehead to feel the bump. "You okay? You don't look too good? Did I really hit you that hard?"

Shigen pushed his hand away and shook his head. "I'm fine."

Kai gave Link a confused look, and Link returned the look with a shrug. But the hero knew what was really going on, since he had read Shigen's thoughts a while ago. _I wonder when he'll come out and say it to us... Probably on his death bed knowing him._

He reached up and ruffled the teens hair. "Come on you two, time to eat."

* * *

At lunch they sat with Ganon and Zelda, who had taken over their table sometime before Christmas.

Zelda smiled happily at them. "Hey guys!"

Shigen waved back, bored. "Yo..."

Link nodded and sipped on his milk.

Kai stole half of Link's sandwich before saying. "Hey Zel, hey ... master..."

Link choked on his milk. "Wh-what did you call him Kaiten?"

"I called him master. Does that bother you hero?"

"No..." But the death glare he sent Ganon said differently.

Shigen looked back and forth from Link to Ganon. _Things are going to get pretty messy..._

Ganon didn't seem to notice the glare. "So Kai, I was thinking you could come over to my house after school and we could have a practice duel. I promise to be _gentle _with you."

Link wrapped an arm around Kai's waist and pulled him closer. "I don't think he can do that, he has.. things to do with me..."

Kai caught onto the mood. _Oooo they're fighting over me! I feel loved. _"Link, I'm still kind of mad after that hit to the ass you know."

Zelda's eyes widened with interest. "He hit your ass?"

"Yeah! With his balls!"

The table went silent.

Link blushed. "No! He meant dodge balls. We were in gym last class."

Zelda closed her mouth, which was previously hanging open. "Oh, okay, that makes more sense."

Ganon growled. "You're such an abusive person Link. Kaiten, don't you want to come hang out with me for a while? I promise I wont hurt you."

Link crushed his milk carton in his hands.

Shigen sighed. _Yep... here it comes..._

Kai took a quick bite of his sandwich before answering. "Well... let's see... I think I can come over after school today. It's not like I'm doing anything important."

Link all but glued himself to the shadow. "You are doing important stuff remember? You said you wanted to get a shower with me."

"That was before you killed my ass."

"Yes hero, I think it would be better if Kai came over my house today."

Link sent his uber death glare of doom towards the evil king. "I think not."

"I think differently."

Kai separated him self from Link and hid on the other side of Shigen. "Emo? Is it going to be bad?"

"Yes dear shadow... Very bad..."

Zelda moved out of the way too, walking around to the other side of the table to hide on the other side of Kai. "Is it just me? Or do Link and Ganny pooh have some kind of grudge thing going on?"

"It's not you Zel."

"Are you challenging me hero?"

"As always."

Ganon crossed his arms over his chest. "It seems you are one who can never let go of the past eh?"

"So you do remember everything! I never believed that you lost your memories."

"Too bad you didn't do anything about it. Now I get to destroy your life for a second time. I bet that shadow's great in bed.."

That set Link off. With one of his famous battle cries, he launched himself a crossed the table and tackled Ganondorf to the ground.

All the teachers on duty shrugged and continued their conversations.

Kai started shaking as he watched the two guys beat the shit out of each other. "Link has a really bad temper." He poked Shigen. "Do you think we should stop them?"

By now, half the school had gathered around to watch the fight.

"If we don't stop them... Pig man will probably die..."

Zelda teared up. "Kai! You have to stop them! I want Ganon to be there to raise his child!"

Shigen walked over to them and grabbed a hold of Link's fist before he had a chance to punch Ganon in the face. "Now sexy... calm down..."

Kai dragged Ganon out from under Link and sat on him. "Stay still Mr Piggy."

After a few minutes, everything finally settled down.

Link whipped the blood off his chin. "Serves you right bastard!"

The bell rang, meaning lunch was over.

Kai jumped off Ganon and help Link get to his feet. "Come on Link, two more classes and then we can go home and have sex."

That brought Link down to earth again. "Really?"

"Yeps! I gotta watch you fight more often. It's a huge turn on."

Link smiled and huggled the shadow, nuzzling his neck.

Shigen flinched. _I think this calls for ear plugs tonight..._

* * *

Shigen sighed very loudly and turned his Mp3 player up to full volume. _Man those guys are loud... I'll never be able to concentrate on my homework... _

The music didn't mute the next loud moan.

The emo picked up his chemistry text book and started hitting his head with it. _They have no shame... I wonder if they even realize that I can hear them...? Probably not..._

Another moan, followed by a loud bang sounded.

_The basement... That's it... I'm moving my stuff to the basement..._


	22. New friends! Yush!

**Chapter 23: New friends! Yush!**

Shigen fought the grimace that was trying to appear on his face as he eyed Kai, who was eyeing a glass tube.

All three of them were in chemistry class. Why the two grade ten students took a grade eleven science course would be a mystery to most schools, but this one obviously didn't care.

The teacher of the class, who was a crazy looking middle aged woman with hair to match that description, obviously didn't know that handing the overly curious shadow explosive chemicals would spell certain death.

Link quickly caught on to Shigen's nervous aura, and began making the needed nervous expressions.

"Kai, maybe you should let me handle the chemicals?" Link moved the blue colored one out of Kai's reach.

Kai looked at both of them before crossing his arms and huffing. "You don't think I'd actually blow the class room up on purpose do you?"

Shigen shook his head. "No... That's the problem... You might do it by accident..."

"Will not! I'm always careful around these things."

"Right... You know... for some odd reason... I don't believe you at all..."

Link pushed them apart before they started hurting each other and pointed to the instructions on the board. "We need to hurry up and finish this lab before class is over, now get to it!"

Kai saluted him and picked up one of the other chemicals on the table. "Ok, so it says to mix the green one with that blue one... But not to mix it with the red one..."

Shigen nodded and inched behind Link encase he needed a shield.

"That's all good! Ok! So... Mix the green one with the red one..."

Three things happened at once.

One... Shigen and Link both ducked and covered their heads in a feeble attempt to save themselves...

Two... No one would ever allow Kai to touch and sort of chemical after this day...

Three... Nothing happened... awkward...

The teacher had given them fake chemicals so she could sort out the people who like to explode things, from the people who like to keep their heads on for the majority of their lives...

That's right... There's a smart teacher in this school!

Kai picked up a text book and hit Shigen over the head. "You're supposed to be able to see into the future dumb ass!"

Shigen shrugged then grabbed the text book and returned the abuse. "I don't know why... but it seems to be getting harder to see the more I hang around you two..."

Kai grinned and flexed his muscles. "That's because I'm so damn sexy!"

Link chuckled. "Here here!" He grabbed his binders as the bell rang. "Come on Kai, we have to go to child studies next."

"Why the fuck do I need to learn how to take care of a child? I'm gay! Unless you have some girly parts in you Link... I don't see us ever having kids..."

Shigen couched nervously as the whole class went silent. "Um... well shadow... It's really just an easy class that everyone takes just so they can pass a course..." _Nice way to announce everything to the whole world..._

"Oh! Well then... off we go!" He literally dragged Link out of the class room and all the way to their next class.

When thy walked in, the teacher was already handing out the assignment for the day. The took a seat next to the only other boy in the classroom, who had been refusing to talk to them since the first class of the semester.

But Kai wasn't one to give up.

"Heya! How's life treating you?"

The guy's face scrunched up in frustration as he continued to ignore Kai.

Link decided to be the brave one and poked him with a pencil. "Being mute isn't really the best thing... trust me I know."

The guy took the pencil and snapped it in half, then handed it back to Link.

Kai laughed as Link's expression went into full pout mode. "It was a good pencil Link, he lived a long life. But all things must come to an end."

Link nodded an whipped away a few imaginary tears. "You're right Kai, I should remember him as he used to be, not what he is now."

The boys little performance caught the teacher's attention. "Koal! That wasn't nice! Give Link one of your spare pencils now."

'Koal' grumbled, then handed Link the pencil he was holding. "Here... have my favorite pencil. Anything to make it up to you."

Kai had to stop and think about something... Which was really hard for him, but still. "Hey wait... Doesn't his sarcasm remind you of someone?"

Link thought about that. "Hmm... Well, the only sarcastic friend we have is... Shigen?"

"Fuck, I don't even think he means to be sarcastic, he's just got a really nasty habit of stating the truth rudely."

"True..."

They looked at Koal again, who returned their look with a glare.

Link hugged Kai tightly. "Did we do something to him to make him pissed off at us?"

Kai shrugged. "I dunno, I'll ask him." He poked Koal with his pencil. "Yo... Did I hit on your boyfriend or something? Or maybe grab your ass in public some time ago? Or do you always look like you have something stuck up your ass?"

Koal took Kai's pencil and threw it at him, it hit Kai's head with doinking sound. "Do you really have to ask?" He gestured to the whole female population in the class. "You stole my fan girls! How did you two become so popular? What's your secret?"

Kai looked at Link.

Link looked at Kai.

Everyone looked at them, waiting for their response.

"I think it might have something to do with this." Kai turned and kissed Link roughly.

Link... Who had, and had not been expecting it, lost his balance, and they both fell out of the chair.

Every girl, including the teacher, immediately ran for the nearest bathroom to get something for their nose bleeds.

Koal tilted his head in confusion. "So... If I kiss another guy, I'll get my fan girls back?"

Kai helped Link back into his chair and then faced him. "Yeah, that's it! Want to try me out?"

"I don't think so." Link picked Kai up and sat him in his lap. "You're mine."

Koal rolled his eyes. "I don't think I'm desperate enough to kiss a guy... But I have a better idea." He held out his hand. "I'm Koalten, but call me Koal... Me and you guys are going to be hanging out a lot from now on."

Link shook his hand. "Umm hanging out?"

"Yeah... If being gay attracts the lovely laddies, I can pretend to be gay! That way, I'll get the girls, and... perhaps some new friends in the process..."

"Yep, he's just as evil as emo... speaking of that annoying bastard... do you think he's already seen this happening?"

"I dunno Kai, he did say his visions were getting blurry."

Koal waved a hand in front of them. "Um, who's this emo person?"

Link swatted his hand away. "Shigen Hikarn... He's kind of our best friend now..."

"Oh, that bastard?"

Kai slid off of Link's lap. "You know him?"

"Yeah... He's my cousin. Haven't talked to him in years though."

All the girls returned to the class room and sat in their seats again, trying not to glance back at the boys hopefully.

Koal reached over and gently caressed Link's cheek. "Now lovely, when we get home, I'll expect a certain 'treat' from you."

A bunch of the girls screamed.

Link's eyes widened. "Wh-what?"

He flicked his hair dramatically. (Like Tamaki from Ouran) "You know, it has something to do with you, and me, in a bubble bath that smells of roses."

Some of the girls fainted.

Kai sat there with his mouth open. Not too sure if he should get mad, or laugh his ass off.

Link smirked, finally catching on to what Koal was doing. "Only if I get top, and we have to include Kai."

"Yes, of course. I might even ask Shigen to join if you like."

Kai couldn't keep it in any longer. "Yayz! Bubble bath orgy!"

That snapped the teacher back into reality. "Okay class! Back to work!"

Koal smiled happily as the girl's began to gossip about him and the twins. "The next few months are going to be fun boys."

"Damn crooked."

* * *

Shigen slammed his books down on the cafeteria table. "What the hell is he doing here...?" He gestured to Koal who was sitting across from Link and Kai.

"Maybe they wanted to have more interesting friends than you, dear cousin of mine."

"Shut up..."

"Hey, I think we've finally found some one who pisses emo off more than me!"

"And who the fuck would that be Kaiten? The Teletubies, because they don't count." Ryuk took his seat beside Shigen and patted the emo affectionately.

"No you dumb ass! Koal does!"

Ryuk looked at Koal, noticing him for the first time. "Hey, it's like a short haired, un emo version of Shigen!"

Koal stood up and sauntered over to his cousin and sat on the other side of him. "Now Shigen, you have to be nice to me, or I'll get your crazy father after you..." He tapped Shigen on the nose.

Shigen gave him a glare worthy of a basilisk. "Koal, if you do not leave me alone... I will personally see to your destruction..."

Koal shrugged and stole half of Link's sandwich.

"Why does everybody steal my food?"

Kai took Link's milk carton and drank the rest of what was inside of it. "Because you're the only one who bothers to bring food to school."

The hero slouched in his chair. "Noted."

* * *

Link sighed as he sat down in his seat for math. _It is sooo not interesting in here... and math is way too easy..._

"Hello again."

He turned to look at the girl sitting beside him, she was a small and quiet girl. Her short hair was a strange black color that almost appeared blue, and her skin was very pale, making her black eyes stand out like a diamond would in a pile of rocks. _Kotomi Makuro, a transfer student from Japan... _

He tried not to sigh again when he saw what she was wearing, which was, of course, baggy clothes. Almost as if she was trying to shield herself from the world by hiding in the mass form of material. _I bet she'd catch a few eyes if she actually showed off her figure more... Wait why am I thinking about this?_

"Hi Kotomi." He gave her the most friendly smile he could manage.

She blushed and averted her gaze. "Um, how is Kai and Shigen today?"

Link shrugged and laid his head down on the desk. "Annoying as usual... You should really hang out with us some time. We are down a few group members ever since Zelda and Ganondork left."

She shook her head. "No, I like eating by myself... And you guys look like you can keep yourselves entertained."

_Oh gods... At least hang with us so we can keep poor Koal entertained.. I think he's going crazy with the lack of chicks in our group...Or straight guys..._

"Ok, here's the deal. You hang out with us, and I'll come over and play that video game you were talking about."

Her face lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah, you'll probably kick my ass though."

"You're damn right I will!" She punched the air, almost successfully hitting Link in the process. "Oops..."

Link stared at her blankly. _Talk about a mood swing... I think she'll get along with all of us just fine..._


	23. Koal might be an idiot

**Chapter 24: Koal might be an idiot**

It was safe to say that Link and Kai were enjoying their morning quiet a bit. It might have had something to do with both of them being in bed supposedly sleeping, when in actual fact, Link was sprawled out on top of Kai and giving him sloppy half awake kisses.

Shigen knew not to interrupt their morning routine unless he wanted to loose a few unmentionable body parts. So he quietly got ready for school, praying that the kisses wouldn't turn into full out yaoi.

It was six in the morning, so he wasn't really expecting anyone to pay a visit, but someone was knocking on the door.

He was grumbling as he opened the door.

"Hello my dear cousin~" Koal pulled the emo into an awkward hug. "It's good to see I'm not the only early riser on the face of this earth."

Shigen didn't say anything, instead he opted for glaring.

"Where is Kai and Link? Still sleeping? I can fix that!"

He didn't seem to hear the moaning that had started up.

Shigen shrugged and gestured up the stairs.

Koal somehow manage to skip up them.

_Heh heh... sucker..._

Koal took hold of the door handle, and as dramatically as possible, swung the door open.

"Hello my lovelies! Ho are yo-"

Link froze when he realized that the voice did not belong to the monotone Shigen.

Kai growled frustrated and yanked on his hair. "Uh... Hello! I said fuck me harder, not stop altogether!" It was then that he noticed that Koal was gaping at them. "Oh... Helloooo!"

Koal was terrified, and possible traumatized for life. _Wait... how.. Where do they put it? How...? I don't understand!_

Link threw a pillow at his head. "You just ruined the whole moment, now we're going to have to start all over again."

"Hey hero, I don't mind."

Koal pulled himself together and turned very quickly, and walked back out. No dramatics involved.

Shigen laughed when he saw how pale is cousin's face was. "What's wrong Koal? You look like you're just coming out of rigour mortise..."

Koal grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "You knew! You knew they were... attempting to somehow conceive a child, and you never told me!"

"Why would I tell you something when I could just enjoy watching your anguish...?"

Koal shook his head sadly. "You're a sick, sick man."

"Damn crooked..."

It was silent before they heard the muffled reply of. "Hey, that's my catch phrase!"

* * *

They were in gym again, for Shigen it was the most dreaded class of the day. If you don't count his immense fear of being blown up in chemistry.

"And today's game my young friends, will be volley ball!" He happily split them into four groups, making sure to separate the three friends.

Kai sighed as he watched Link serve. _Man, I could stare at that ass all day..._

"Hey, it's the weird kid that's dating his brother. How have you been?"

The shadow leered at the guy, trying to figure out who he was. _I think it was something like..._

"Candy!"

Cian stared at him blankly. "It's Cian..."

"Whatev, whatev... So, what are we waiting for?"

"Um.. you're supposed to serve the ball."

Kai laughed nervously. "Yeah, balls, serving, right..." _I hate human games... _

He threw the ball in the air and hit it as hard as he could.

It did not go where he was expecting it to go. The ball obviously had a mind of it's own, so instead of flying over the net, it attacked the person in front of Kai.

Cian reached out in a pathetic attempt to change the ball's direction. "Dia! Watch out!"

Dia, who, for some reason was playing volley ball even though she was very blind, turned just in time to get a face full of... ball...

Cain ran over to her, flailing his arms as she stood up.

"Maybe I should sit this class out..." She walked dejectedly back towards the stands.

Cian flinched as he handed Kai the ball. "Try not to kill your own teammates, ok?"

Kai rolled his eyes and served the ball again.

Cain had enough sense in him to duck this time.

The ball once again refused to go where it was supposed to, and instead hit the wall, then bounced back and hit Link on the ass.

"Holy shit, I'm good!" He laughed when he saw Link holding onto his ass and limping. "That's right Link! Take it like a bitch!"

Link stopped to stick his middle finger up at him.

Poor scared Cian pushed Kai out of the way and took his place on the servers square. "I think I'll serve this time."

The ball was defiantly possessed as it flew and ricochet off the wall again, and whacked poor Dia in the face for a second time.

Cian stared wide eyed at her limp form before turning to look at Kai who shrugged.

"Hey, it wasn't me this time."

Flailing his arms again, he ran over to Dia.

* * *

Shigen sat at the cafeteria table and looked around. "Hey... Where's sexy...?"

Kai who was rummaging threw Link's lunch box, replied. "He went to go get some new person he met in math."

Koal took at seat next to Shigen who glared at him. "Well I hope they're not gay. I'm going to be scarred for life soon." He smiled when he saw the girls attempting to get the closets table to them. _Hmmm, time for another act I think. _He looked around for Ryuk, making sure he wouldn't be there to see anything. When the cost was clear, he turned to Shigen a placed a hand on his thigh.

"Hey lovely, why don't we go find a dark hallway and have some fun?" His hand moved up suggestively.

The girls squealed and jumped up and down excitedly.

Koal was enjoying himself, so he pushed it further. He bit Shigen's ear and nibbled lightly. "I promise I'll be gentle."

Kai was trying hard not to choke on Link's lunch, and was failing hard.

Shigen took the hand off his leg, and pushed Koal's face away. "For one... You ever do that again... and I will find some painful way to kill you... Secondly... what makes you think you'd be seme...?"

"What's a seme?"

Thankfully, he wouldn't have to answer that question, because Link walked over to them with Kotomi on tow.

"Hey guys, this is the person I wanted you to meet."

Koal did a triple take. "It's a girl? An actual girl? With boobs!"

They all stared at him weirdly.

"Oh, man.. I must be in heaven..." He jumped up and practically glomped her. "Hello lovely! I'm Koal. How do you like me so far?"

Kotomi blushed and pried him off trying to keep a serious face. "Hmm, from my first impression.. you're a complete idiot."

Shigen snorted. "Yeah, you guess that all on your own...?"

Kotomi smiled evilly and picked up Link's chemistry text book. "So you must be Shigen?"

Shigen looked at her, then at the text book, not needing his vision to know what she was going to do. "Yeah..."

She raised the book.

Shigen ducked, shielding his face with his arms.

When nothing happened, he looked up.

Kotomi was sitting beside Link, having a pleasant conversation with him and trying to keep Koal from gluing himself to her.

_What... just happened..?_

Kotomi looked at him and smiled sweetly.

Shigen sent her his 'glare o doom' and went back to his food. _Me and her are not going to get along with each other... I can see it all ready..._

A crossed the cafeteria, Dia had gotten run over by the sub cart, while Cian flailed like a worried mother hen.


	24. Shigen's bad day

**Chapter 25: Shigen's bad day**

Shigen was enjoying himself.

It was a Friday for one, the last day of the week, the last day he would have to go to that intolerable jail like building they called a school.

It was also the most easy going day of the month, seeing as it was Valentine's day and the teachers never gave any school work in fear of the mingling couples chasing after them with the thorny part of the roses.

He would also be seeing his boyfriend Ryuk, who he had been dating for a while, which for some reason, was a surprise to most people.

And he was also happy because it was 6:30 in the morning, which meant he still had another 2 hours to sleep.

"Shigen! Wake up!"

Or not...

Shigen sent his most ominous glare towards the bundle of hyper that was known as Kai.

Kai, who had been in mid glomp at the time, froze in the air and fell onto the floor..

"N-never mind! Go back to sleep!" He slipped out the door shivering and muttering something about crazy cranky emo's.

Said emo closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep, his dreams filled with the torturing of a certain shadow, and the cuddling of a certain boyfriend.

"Shigen~"

Shigen slowly opened his eyes for the second time that morning.

"Oh dearest cousin, why must you sleep in on a day such as today! You should be up, and seducing young women... Men, I meant men! Goddess knows you got the looks. I guess it's because you're too smart stupid for your own good."

Shigen picked up his pillow and threw it at the unsuspecting Koal. "If you do not remove yourself from my room within the next few seconds... I will have to get up and personally remove you myself... And trust me... You don't want that to happen..."

Koal shrugged and pounced on the poor sleepy emo. "Just try it!"

"..."

"Ah... See. It's not so bad if I give you hugs~ I'm so glade I transfered schools! Now I can spend more time with you."

"..."

"Shi...gen?"

* * *

Link had been minding his own business, making his way towards the living room to hand Kai his valentine present when out of the forth dimension known as Shigen's room, Koal came flying out and landed in a heap in front of him.

"_Well that was a large disturbance in my day. Is he alright?"_

Koal stood up and whimpered. "Ouch... My ass!"

Kai sauntered into the conversation in the best way he knew how. "Did he rape you?"

Shigen stepped out of his room, still in his boxers which didn't help with the way Kai's thought process ran. "Why the hell are you all so determined to wake me up and ruin my perfect day...?"

Link inched away, a little more then scared. "Hey, I'm innocent. So please don't kill me."

Shigen went back into his room and slammed the door.

Kai pointed to the still slightly ruffled Koal. "He started it!"

* * *

School was, as usual, in an uproar. The only difference today was the fact that the druggies were locking lips with other druggies, and not their drugs.

Shigen was still in a grumpy mood as they got out of the car.

"And why do you have to come over every morning... wake us up... and then come to school with us Koal...?"

"Fan girls."

"But there's no fan girls around then... That would be kind of scary..."

Koal wrapped an arm around Shigen in a one armed hug. "Have you ever wondered if we're just characters made up to amuse some higher race of people? I'm doing it for those fan girls of mine. They love me!"

The emo shuddered violently. "Now that... Would be scary..."

Link and Kai both went into defensive mode, as if some invisible fan girl would come out of nowhere and tackle them.

Kotomi approached them quietly. "Hey guys." She held out a box of home made chocolates. "I made them myself. Want some?"

Link grabbed Kai and kissed him. "I have my own special brand of chocolate right here." He kissed him again.

Koal took the box and bowed to her. "I would be delighted to try some of your cooking my lady."

Link waved them away, opened up the car door and threw poor Kai in. "You guys go on ahead of us, we'll be there in a sec."

"Men..." Kotomi shook her head sadly and led the other two away.

The guys both made it to their chemistry class five minutes late. Most of the fan girls squealed when they noticed Kai's messy hair and clothes, and Link's satisfied smirk.

Kai slid into the seat next to Shigen and some random dude. "I bet your boyfriend doesn't give to presents like that emo."

Shigen glared. "Just wait until I shove Ryuk into a janitor's closet..."

"Ooo, can I watch?"

The guy sitting next to him poked him with a pencil.

"What do you-

Kai narrowed his eyes in concentration. _There's something very familiar about this guy._

Link put their chemistry supplies in front of them. "Today we're making some type of goo so prepare to get dirty." _Why is Kai being so quiet..?_

The shadow was to busy staring at the new guy to notice anything that Link was saying. _Where? I've seen him... Why do I think of spandex when I look t him? Wait... Red.. eyes...? Blond... hair...? Spandex?_

His scream came so suddenly, Shigen and Link both jumped a foot in the air, and Shigen threw the beakers that he was holding a crossed the room where they smashed into Dia's unsuspecting forehead.

Cian flailed and started preforming CPR.

Link held onto Kai as he jumped over to Shigen and into his arms. "What's wrong Kaiten?"

His eyes were the size of over blown up balloons. "It's Sheik!"

"Where?"

Sheik pushed Shigen off his stool and held out his hand. "I've finally found you hero."

Link would have shook his hand, but Kai kept holding them down while growling at the ex spandex wearer.

The announcements came on interrupting the almost awkward situation.

"_Will every student please drop what they're doing and listen to these next announcements! Due to the lack of interest in school work, we have all decided to host a giant orgy...I mean dance party down in the gym. Or anywhere, since we'll be putting the music on the school speakers."_

The class started packing up their things and moving towards the door cheering.

"_Stop! Don't move! I said stop!"_

Everyone froze.

"_Will all teachers please report to the staff room so we can continue our plans to take over the world. Thank you."_

Music blasted over the speakers, people started running in every direction shouting and throwing their clothes off.

Sheik looked horrified. "This place is crazy."

Shigen finally stood up and pushed Sheik off the stool for revenge. "You get use to it... Let's go dance shall we...? I need to find my Ryuk anyways..."

Link placed Kai on his feet. "Um... Did you want something from me Sheik?"

"Actually, I came to warn you about something." He brushed himself off. "I see you've decided to be with the shadow. Shame, I should have made a move when I had the chance. I've always liked you hero."

"The warning Sheik?"

"Oh right. Sorry, I tend to wander a bit when I talk." He coughed lightly. "I came to warn you about Ganondorf. I'm sure you've seen him around. I unfortunately had the displeasure of seeing him together with a very pregnant Zelda. I pray to the goddesses it's not his or I believe we're all domed."

Kai sighed and covered Sheik's mouth. "Dude, forseriously you talk more then Shigen."

* * *

At lunch time, the group took their usual seats in the cafeteria. They were he only ones there, the rest of the students were busy in random closets and empty class rooms.

Kotomi handed them all hand crafted Valentine's day cards.

"There, someone has to be the girl here and do it."

Koal looked around to make sure no fan girl's were present then draped an arm around her shoulders. "Well lovely, if you come over my house after school, I'll give you some of my homemade heart shaped cookies.

She shrugged. "Sounds cool I guess." She turned to giggle at Kai who was attempting to catch M&M's in his mouth.

Link threw a piece of his sandwich at Koal and whispered. "Video games..."

"And you can come over and play video games with me! I just got a really cool one yesterday! It's awesome."

She looked towards him so fast, it looked like her head would have snapped off, if not for the bone and muscle holding it in place.

"Really?"

"Yes lovely~"

Shigen rested his head on Ryuk's shoulder. "Oh great... It's started... Now all we need is little Koal's running around shouting lovely and playing too many video games... I'm so glade I can't see that far into the future."

Ryuk choked on his pop laughing so hard. "Wouldn't that be something."

Sheik didn't waste any time making himself at home in the mansion. Link gave him a tour and showed him which room he would be sleeping in.

"So, where is the master sword?"

Kai pointed to the basement door. "Down there. Stay away from it, or Link will kill us all."

Sheik laughed and opened the door, and out ran... yes... our long missed hyper puppy. Who was more the size of a small horse now.

"Seun!" Kai was tackled by the dog.

"Where have you been you damn mutt? Did Shigen lock you down there?"

The dog whimpered.

Shigen grumbled something at him and pulled poor Ryuk into his room.

"So what do you guys do for fun around here?" Sheik poked him bored.

Link skipped out of the kitchen and started pushing him towards his room.

"You're gonna go in your room and entertain yourself, while me and Kai go do... Things..."

Sheik didn't have a chance to reply before the door was slammed in his face and was locked from the outside.

Kai flinched when the hero turned to look at him with hungry eyes.

"Should I be scared?"

Link shook his head and held up a random brown colored bottle. "Does chocolate syrup sound scary?"


	25. Vacation Part 1

**Chapter 27: Vacation Part 1**

Kai picked up the Wii and turned to look at Link with pleading eyes. "Please Linky-pooh! I can't live without my games! I will ... melt.. die... dissolve?"

Link removed the Wii gently from Kai's hands and put it back on the coffee table. "No Kai, and besides, we'll be so busy, we wont have time to play video games."

"Stingy..."

"You love me though, right?"

Kai pushed the hero against a wall and kissed him roughly, slipping a hand under his shirt to tease him. "That answer your question?"

"Ahhh! My eyes! Again!" Koal dropped both his suitcases on the floor and used his hands to shield his eyes. "Why do I always walk in at the wrong time?"

Kotomi pushed him out of the way, and placed her bags down beside Link and Kai's. "Oh stop complaining, you'll get used to it... Besides, it's pretty hot."

"Yuck, yaoi fan girls."

Shigen pushed Koal harder than Kotomi had, and sent him flying onto the nearest couch. "If you don't stop complaining... you'll be staying here..."

Kai poked Shigen's arm. "Is someone in a bad mood because they have to leave their boyfriend for a whole week?"

"Obviously shadow... this is why I hate March break..."

Link went up behind him and pulled his lips into a smile. "Come on, smile emo kid."

Shigen waved him away.

Koal whimpered and got off the couch. "Is it almost time to go? I wanna go on the privet jet!"

Kotomi jumped up and down. "Yay! Let's go! I'll help carry the things out to the car." She picked up a couple bags and paused before going out the door. "You driving Link?"

Link nodded.

Kai and Shigen both gulped.

"Slow down! You're going to kill someone! Or us!" Koal was gripping the back of the drivers seat like his life depended on it... which it probably did...

Shigen was glued to the side door, his knuckles white from holding on.

Kotomi sat in between them, smiling like nothing was wrong, and laughing every time they almost hit something. "It's just like playing Mario cart!"

Koal clung to her as he lost his grip. "That's not funny lovely!"

Kai was in the passengers seat unconscious, thanks to a bump on the head he received when Link slammed on the breaks too hard before. He was currently being thrown around like a rag doll.

Link had a huge evil grin on his face, he had obviously been playing to many video games with Kotomi. He laughed evilly as they flew by a cop car, scaring the cops so bad that they threw their donuts and coffee into the air.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they pulled into the airport parking lot.

Link turned the car off and got out, opening the door for the others.

Koal was the first out, or half out seeing as he still had his seatbelt on and it was holding him back. "I'm stuck! It's going to eat me!"

Kotomi undid the buckle and he went flying.

Shigen opened his door and stood on shaky legs, muttering death threats under his breath, knowing Link would be able to hear them clearly.

Kai opened his eyes and flailed as soon as he realized he was in the death trap of a car. He all but flew out the door once he manged to get it open. "Holy sweet fuck, never again do we let Link drive."

Link glared and bopped him on the head, forgetting about Kai's sore head. "Oh like you're any better?"

Kotomi got out of the car calmly. "Well I think Link is an excellent driver."

Kai snorted. "Well you're obviously on crack woman."

Link turned on the speakers. "Ok everyone, I'm going to start the plain now, so sit your asses down, put your seat belts on, and don't get off your asses until I tell you to."

Koal sat next to Kotomi and hugged her, shaking. "We are going to die aren't we?"

Shigen, who actually looked terrified nodded. "If his airplane driving skills are just as good as his car driving skills... then yes... say your prayers..."

"I heard that." Link said angrily over the speakers. Kai was laughing in the background.

The plain took off and their journey began. Soon they realized that Link was better at driving plains then he was at driving cars and relaxed, falling asleep. But of course, Link just put the plain on autopilot.

* * *

"Ok everyone! We're here! Wake the hell up!"

Kai hit them with a random book as he passed each of them. "We are now in Edmonton!"

Grumbling, they all stood up and stretched.

Kotomi looked out one of the windows and laughed happily. "Wow, it's cool!"

"It's... an airport..."

"Yes, I know that Shigen."

"Now, now cousin, leave the lovely here alone."

Shigen grabbed his bags and walked off muttering more death threats.

Koal poked Kai. "So where are we staying? A hotel?"

"Hells no! We have our own house here."

"Jeez, how rich are you guys?"

Kai shrugged. "I can't remember..."

Link ushered them all into a taxi. "A shame we have to use a taxi."

The others laughed nervously.

* * *

"So what are we going to do while were here...?" Shigen leaned over Link and peered at the computer screen.

Link pointed to a section on a random map. "Well.. They're having a con here."

"Are you suggesting we dress up as random characters and run around like a bunch of idiots who ate too much sugar?"

"Well, yeah."

"Sounds good to me..."

Koal picked Kotomi up bridle style and spun her around in circles. "I'm going to be Aidou from vampire knight!"

Kotomi giggled as she was set on her feet. "I think I'll be Hinata from Naruto, I can pull her off pretty well. What about you Link?"

"I think I'll be Axel, just because he's bad ass. Got it memorized?"

She turned to Kai. "and you have to be L from Deathnote."

"Is he hot?"

"Of course! That's why I suggested him for you."

"Damn crooked."

Shigen inched out of the room before Kotomi could assign him a character.

"Well let get ready shall we?" Link asked them, dragging Kai off to their room.

"What do you think lovely? Do I look good?" Koal pointed to his face and winked at poor Kotomi.

"Y-yeah.. You l-look good.."

"Why are you stuttering?"

"Because this is how Hinanta talks! Well... Not like that... But..."

"I get it."

Link and Kai came down the stairs. "And stay slouched, got it memorized?"

"Yes! For the last time! I have it fucking memorized! Now stop saying that!"

"I will not stop saying it. Got it memorized?"

"Urgz!"

Shigen stepped out of his room, making sure to send a glare at Kai for no reason.

Kai crossed his arms and starred at the emo. "What the fuck are you supposed to be? A stalker?"

"No dumb ass... I'm Vincent Valentine in his Turk... Form..."

"You and your Final Fantasy shit."

"Damn crooked..."

"That. Is. My. Line."

Link pulled Kai outside before the fight could turn physical.

Koal sauntered over to Shigen and patted his head. "You're looking very sexy today Shigen."

"Are you hitting on me...? I knew the twincest wonders would rub off on you eventually..."

He inched back over to Kotomi. "I like girls."

"Whatever you say..."

The area was packed with cosplayers. Link and Kai were going threw somewhat of a culture shock.

"Dude, there's girls dressed as guys kissing each other!"

Link nudged him in the ribs. "Kai, you're supposed to be acting like L. Got it memorized?"

"And how does L act?"

Kotomi handed him a tea cup full of sugar. "T-there you g-go L..."

"Yay, sugar."

"I'm going to go hang out with the Final Fantasy people..." Shigen walked off, trying hard not to get mobbed by fangirls.

Koal ran after all the girls, dragging Kotomi with him. "Hey lovely~ What's your blood type?"

They screamed and tackled him giving Kotomi a chance to run away.

"So hero, did you think I would let you escape my clutches?"

Both Kai and Link turned around.

Kai screamed... again.

"Stupid spandex asshole!"

"Nice to see you too shadow." Sheik draped and arm over Kai's shoulder. He was dressed in his old outfit, spandex and all.

Link stared at him dumbfounded. "How did you get here?"

"Come on Link, I sleep in the same house as you, I've known your plans to go away since you made them, and not to mention, I have ninja skills."

"Ohhh... I got it memorized..."

"Good, now let's go." He grabbed Link's sleeve and lead him away, leaving Kai to stare after them both.

Kai sniffled. "Why does everyone abandon me?"


	26. Vacation Part 2 Really short

**Chapter 28: Vacation Part 2 Really short**

Kai struggled to make his way through the crowd. He was stopped several times in a row by a few Sephiroth cos players and once by a Light who wanted to 'pin him to a wall and do naughty things to him.'

_This fills my quota of weird today. _He passed by a stand that was selling giant Itachi plushies. _Where the hell is my man? _

He stopped to look into the window of a small general store, pressing his face against the glass. "Oooo..."

Cackling evilly, he flung open the doors and ran inside.

* * *

Everyone had decided to meet up at the house around lunch, so when Kai was five minutes late, Link began pacing the floor grumbling something incoherent.

Sheik and Shigen were having a staring contest with each other, and Koal was attempting to snuggle Kotomi, and failing...

Without moving his eyes, Sheik whispered. "Maybe I shouldn't have dragged Link away from the shadow like that? They seem very... Attached..."

Shigen snorted in disbelief. "You just noticed this now...?"

They both blinked as Kai burst through the door screaming like a maniac.

"You guys! I brought presents! And before you ask, no I didn't pay for them... So here! Free gifts!"

Link was the first to react, grabbing the shadow and pulling him into a passionate kiss, if this was an anime, there would be sparkles and roses drifting in the background.

Kai was silent for a moment... Then he picked up the stuff he had previously dropped and set it out on the table. "Save all that good stuff for later hero."

Said hero did not attempt to hide his puppy pout. "I got it memorized..."

Kotomi looked at the pile with a horrific expression on her face. "Kai...? What is all this...?"

"And just how much sugar did you ingest...?" Shigen asked, picking up a random box.

"I don't know! Like... 15 bags?"

They all face palmed.

"Anyways! Look! For Sheik I brought extra bandages!" He handed spandex boy a first aid kit.

Sheik stared at it impassively. "Um... Thanks?"

"No problem! And for Linky pooh, I have some Viagra! So we can keep going and going... Just like the little pink bunny!"

Link took the box, and held it away from himself. "Kai, you sure that's what this shit is for?"

"Cant remember! And for Kotomi and Koal... Condoms! Because we know you'll need them sooner or later. And if it's really later, you can just blow them up and have sword fights with them!"

Kotomi took the box and threw it at Kai, but missed and ended up hitting poor Koal in the face.

"And last, but certainly not least! Shigen! My bridesmaid!"

Link choked on whatever beverage he was about to consume. _Since when are we getting married?_

Kai held out the small jar towards the emo and placed it in his hands.

Shigen looked at it blankly. "Um.. Shadow...? This is a bottle of cheese whiz..."

"Yeah! I know! But I thought it would help you because Cheese whiz adds... Personality! And you need some personality..."

Shigen threw the bottle at Kai's head, but missed, and hit Koal's face.

"Oops... I guess I don't have very good aim..."

After that small incident, Kai was put down for a nap, and the others were left to recoup. Then after a wonderful supper, courtesy of the hero of time, Link, they all got dressed up again and ventured out into the world of the cos players.

Kai poked a dude who was dressed in long white robes. "Who are you supposed to be?"

The guy looked at him and answered rather bored. "I'm Jesus."

The shadow's eyes widened to an incredible size. "Jesus? I just poked... Jesus...?"

Link had to drag him away from the guy before another incident broke out.

Kotomi dragged Koal away to look at all the stands with random plushies.

"Hey, Koal? You watch Naruto right?"

Koal laughed nervously. "Er, yeah, all the time lovely!"

She hit the back of his head, adding another large bump there. "Sure you do... But I'll make you a deal, if you buy a plushie of my favorite character, I'll give you one kiss."

"You're kind of evil, you know that lovely?"

She ignored the comment and pushed him towards the plushies. "You can do it Koala."

_Awww! She gave me a pet name! _

He set off towards the plushies, a look of pure determination on his face.

Only what seemed like hours later he returned carrying a huge Sasuke plushie.

He was slightly ruffled, probably thanks to the Aidou fangirls. "Is this your favorite one?"

She squealed and pounced on both of them. "Yay! Sasuke! Duck butt head!" She moved the plushie aside for a fraction of a second and gave him a peck on the lips. "Thank you Koala."

_No... thank you lovely._

With Link and Kai gone off to terrorize the the world, and Koal and Kotomi defiantly getting too cozy for comfort. Shigen and Sheik walked around bored and occasionally getting mobbed.

"I can't wait to go home..."

Sheik sighed and poked him. "Why must I hang around with you? You're boring, Kai was right, you really do need that cheese whiz to add some personality."

"Oh go kill a fan girl..."


	27. I believe in the easter bunny

**Chapter 29: I believe in the easter bunny**

Kai shook Link's unconscious body roughly. The hero had promised to get up with him early, since today was one of his favorite days of the the year...

"Link! Wake up! The Easter bunny came!"

The reply was a groan/mumble.

Kai picked him up by the shoulders and shook him. "You said you would get up early and help me look for eggs! Now up!"

Link didn't even crack open an eye. "Go wake Shigen up."

Like a kid on a sugar high, Kai flew down the stairs and almost slammed into Shigen's door. _That was a close one... _He opened the door and pounced on the still sleeping emo, tickling his sides.

"Shigen! Up! Come on lazy ass!"

Shigen grabbed the nearest pillow and attempted to kill himself with it. "Go wake Sheik up..."

Kai pouted, but obliged.

It was a short trip down the hall and into Sheiks room, he opened the door.

"Good mor-

A barrage of senbon needles flew towards him and he had just enough time to dodge them... but they almost got him.

"Holy fuck dude! Calm yourself!"

Sheik fell back on the bed...asleep...

Kai glared, then stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

He stomped all the way into the living room, then sat on the couch staring longingly at a pink tin covered Easter egg lying on the coffee table.

"Oh... How I would love to eat you right now..."

Link slowly came down the stairs a few minutes later, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Kai...? You do know it's only 8:00 in the morning right.?"

Kai shrugged. "So? I get you up earlier than this on most days... with my tongue." He chuckled as his boyfriends face immediately went from normal to red.

Shigen was the next to saunter out of his room, clutching his favorite blanket in his hands, he took a seat beside the shadow. "Don't tell me... You still believe in the Easter bunny...?"

Kai shook his head excitedly. "Of course! If I didn't, he probably wouldn't have stopped by and left all these tasty chocolates!"

Shigen snorted and covered his face with the blanket, mumbling.

Last to get out of bed was Sheik, followed by a very bouncy Seun.

The relationship between those two was defiantly questionable in Kai's eyes, but no one else seemed to care.

"You really should have killed that guy in the water temple hero." Sheik seated himself in the rocking chair and directed his glares towards said guy.

Link, who's face had just returned to normal, blushed again. "Well... you see... I..." He was quiet for a few seconds. "Let's go find some chocolate!"

He snatched up a basket and raced off, followed by Kai not long after.

Sheik stared blankly at the spot the hero had been previously standing. "Well, that's one way to avoid the question..." He looked over to Shigen who was still hiding under the blanket. "Say Shigen, I hear you have some kind of strange power? Can you see what happened in the water temple?"

"I'll see..."

The room went silent, random whoops and yelps being the only sound heard in the background as the two boys fought over the hidden chocolate.

"I see..." Shigen's voice sounded amused.

"What? Wait... do I even want to know?"

Shigen appeared from under his hiding spot. "Well... let's just say... Link was less dominate back then... and he hates being reminded of that fact..."

"Okay! I get it!" Sheik raised his hands up, a tad scared. "I'm sorry I asked."

Shigen gave one of his rare smiles and went back under the blanket as the two guys raced in, their baskets overflowing with candy.

"I think I have more than you Kai." Link smiled smugly at him.

Kai picked up Link's basket, and dumped all it's contents into his basket. "Now you don't."

Link's eye twitched. "Cheater..."

"Did anyone ever tell you guys that you need some chill pills?" Sheik was staring at them a bit warily.

The phone rang.

Shigen picked it up, seeing as he was the one next to it.

"Hello...?"

"_Cousin! Good morning lovely! Are you enjoying Easter?"_

Shigen cringed. "Not you... Damn... I should have seen this one coming..."

"_What's so bad about me? Oh, Kotomi's here! She says hi!"_

Kai skidded over by the phone. "Did you guys use the condoms I gave you?"

The phone was silent.

"Oh thank god... I think you killed him..." Shigen was about to hang up when Koal's voice came back on the phone.

"_Yes we used it! Jeez... Talk about invading someone's privacy. Kotomi says mind your own business."_

Shigen face palmed. "I hope we don't have to deal with him passing on the family line..."

"_I heard that Shigen!"_

"It was an insult... you were supposed to hear it..."

"_Anyways, we'll be over soon! Shigen... Do you want me to pick up Ryuk on the way?"_

"We broke up... so no..."

Kai flailed and hugged the emo. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to..." _It's almost time... Ryuk doesn't need to see me like that..._

"_Well that's too bad cousin, I guess that means I can play match maker!"_

Shigen hung up on him. "No thank you..."

Link looked at Shigen, a worried expression on his face. "Why did you break up...?"

"I didn't want to hurt him..." He stood and walked out of the living room.

Kai tackled his Easter basket. "Maybe I can do something to cheer him up later, but for now..." He stared at Link hungrily. "How about we reenact that scene in the water temple hero?"


	28. The road comes to an end

**Chapter 30: The road comes to an end**

"I can't believe it!"

Link looked up from his report card to give Kai a questioning look. "What?"

They were sitting in the cafeteria with a bunch of other students, all of them looking over their grades, some contemplating murder, others crying with relief.

Kai leaned over the table and gestured to the piece of paper he was holding. "I passed all my classes! Holy... shit.."

Kotomi quickly rolled up her paper and hit him over the head with it playfully. "Well I guess you're not as stupid as you look then."

"Damn crooked. ... Hey!"

She and Koal high-fived and then broke into a fit of laughter and giggles.

"Hey guys, haven't seen you in a while." Ganondorf sat in the seat beside Link and smirked at him coldly. "Have you lost anyone precious to you yet?"

Link drew in a breath, trying to control his rising anger levels and turned to glare at him. "No, now go away, I thought I told you to stay away from us."

Ganondorf shrugged then stood, he leaned down down and whispered in his ear. "Only you have the power to save your friend." Then he sauntered is way out of the room.

Koal and Kotomi exchanged glances and then looked at the now seething hero.

Kai made sure to inch away as far as possible.

"So lovely, are you going in to see my cousin today? You should drop his marks off!" Koal waved said marks in front of Link, trying to catch his attention.

Link nodded then took the papers. "Yeah, we're going to go see him, he needs the company, you know how much he doesn't like that place. But Sheik's there with him now, so it's not so bad."

"I wonder why he doesn't want me and Koal to come see him." Kotomi sniffled a bit, then buried her face onto Koal's chest and hugged him.

Kai who was still looking happily at his report card chuckled. "You know that emo, he doesn't want anyone to see him when he's down." He grabbed a hold of his binder and threw it into the air. "School's out! What are we still doing here? Let's go back to the house!"

He literally dragged the three of them out of the cafeteria.

Kai's binder dropped down from the air and whacked Dia on the head.

Cain flailed.

* * *

Back at the house, Kai was dancing in the living room with Kotomi singing 'man, I feel like a women' and Link and Koal were downstairs in the 'forbidden room.'

"So, why is nobody allowed down here again?" Koal shrieked when a spider came a little too close for comfort.

Link flicked the light switch and sighed. "Well, let's just say there are a lot of dangerous things down here." He gestured to the master sword that was lying out on a table. "Take my sword for instance, if you touch it you'll... die? Turn to stone? I'm actually not sure, but I know it's bad." He picked the sword up and petted the blade lovingly.

Koal looked around the room nervously. "That's.. not good."

Link placed the sword in a sheath and began picking up random weapons and trinkets and put them in a small brown bag.

"How are they all fitting in there?" Koal asked, poking the bag.

"It's magic obviously..." He handed him a small oval shaped piece of glass. "Keep this with you at all times, we'll be able to communicate with each other."

Koal took it and stared at it strangely. "Are you going somewhere? How are you able to use magic? Wait... who are you?"

Link's eye twitched. "I think I left a complete _true _history of Hyrule somewhere in this house, but I'm Link, the hero of time, don't bother asking how old I am because that will just make things really weird."

"O-ok..."

"I'm leaving this house to you and Kotomi, and all of my money... You don't mind do you?"

Koal stared back at him in a daze. "Su-re..."

Done packing the bag, Link picked up the last item on the table. It was a small rod, about the length of an arm, pale pink in color. At the top was a small crystal orb that looked as though it had bubbles floating around inside it, and on the bottom was a long deadly looking scythe.

"What's that?" Koal backed away when the pointy end got too close to him.

"This is called a soul catcher, it traps souls inside the orb and can transport them to another body. A necromancers dream."

"Hey Link! I feel like a woman!" Kai skidded into the room and pounced on the hero. "Can you buy me a dress?"

"..."

"Oh fine, we'll stick to the bondage gear."

Kotomi came down the stairs next, followed by Seun who was wagging it's tail happily. "Why are you all down here?"

Link slowly detached Kai from his person and laughed nervously. "Er... we were just coming up." He ushered them all up the stairs and into the living room. "Ok, me and Kai are going to go now, you guys have fun alright?"

Kai, who finally was catching on, knelt down and hugged Seun. "I'm gonna miss you Seun!" The dog licked his cheek happily. Kai went to Kotomi next and gave her a big hug. "It's too bad I can't stay around longer to torture you and Koal some more."

She gave him a weird look and returned the hug. "What's going on you guys? Are you going on vacation?"

Kai ignored her and went over to Koal. "And now for you!" He tackled him and kissed him long and hard on the mouth.

Kotomi glared.

Link face palmed.

And Koal was speechless, he stared after Kai as he walked out the door.

The hero looked at them both and smiled. "Good luck you two, and don't worry, we'll stay in touch." He followed Kai out the door, leaving one very confused Kotomi, and one very red faced Koal to stare after them.

* * *

Kai knocked on the door. "Hey emo? Can we come in?"

It was quiet for a few seconds before an answer came. "Do you have to...?"

Kai rolled his eyes and barged into the room, scaring Sheik who was dozing lightly on a visitors chair and Ryuk who was also sleeping.

Link hit the shadow over the head. "Kai, this is a hospital, you have to be quiet."

Ryuk stood. "I guess I should leave, my mom will be worried." He bent down and kissed Shigen's forehead. "See you..."

Link moved aside as Ryuk went out the door.

Shigen stared longingly at the door for a few seconds before going back to staring holes into the ceiling.

"Shigen, how's the hospital food?" Kai seated himself on the bed at Shigen's feet. "And how's the company? Spandex boy is pretty boring..."

Sheik glared. "You're one to talk shadowling."

A weak chuckle stopped the fight. Shigen was very pale and he looked like he hadn't slept in a few weeks, the constant head aches he had been having since high school had finally bedridden him in his last month of school. With lot's of protesting, Link and Kai managed to get him into the hospital, and he doctors had confirmed what they had all been dreading. Shigen had a progressing brain tumor, and he only had a few weeks to live.

He was dying in a similar way his sister died, and despite his calm appearance, he was quite scared.

"Thanks for... coming in you guys... you know you don't have to..."

Link waved away the words and handed him his report card. "You passed everything, I think it was teacher sympathy though, so don't get too excited."

"Jeez sexy... That sounds like something shadow would say..."

"Hey, I'm not that mean!"

Link laughed and put the bag on the table next to the bed. "Well, shall we get this show on the road?"

Sheik's eyes widened. "So you're going to do it?"

Shigen looked back and forth between the two men. "What are you guys talking about?"

Link pulled the soul catcher from out of his bag and held it up. "The plan is to catch your soul in this, and then go back in time to a place where one of your ancestors live and put the soul in that body. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he gave up his body to you."

"Really...? But why the past...?" Shigen was used to Link's strange abilities and weapons, he took it all in stride.

"Because there's no such thing as cancer or tumors back in my time, and if there is, it's very rare, it's a guaranteed way to know you'll never die of something like that." He held the soul catcher up. "Ready?"

"You know... if my head didn't hurt so much... I would have been able to see this coming..."

Sheik ruffled his hair and moved out of the way to stand by Kai.

Link used the scythe end to cut a crossed Shigen's body.

They all watched as a blue light appeared in the crystal ball and bounced against the insides, seemingly unhappy that it had been captured.

Shigen's body took one more breath, and then went still.

Kai poked it.

"He's dead!"

Sheik hit him over the head. "We have to hurry, the nurses will be rushing in here soon."

Link nodded and picked up his bag, rummaging through it until he found a small blue instrument. He placed it to his lips ad began playing a melancholy song, it's notes echoing through the quiet building.

Kai stretched, cracking a couple of bones in his back. "Wow... It feels good to be back!"

They all took in the large grassy fields and clear, pollution free skies.

Link mumbled something in agreement and held out the soul catcher, it was glowing and pulling Link in a random direction.

Sheik surveyed the area, looking for distinguishing landmarks. "What time do you think we came back in?"

"Hm..." Link tilted his head in thought. "Well judging by the peaceful nature of the lands, I think it's sometime after I defeated Ganondorf."

Kai grabbed the rod out of his hands. "If that's so, Shigen really wants to go to Kakariko village."

And so they went on their way, following the rod to their destination.

It took them a full day and a half to reach the village, and by the time they got there, even Link was panting with exhaustion. Living in future times was really bad for your health.

The rod lead them all the way to the most dreaded place in the village... the graveyard.

Kai shivered. "Count on Shigen's ancestor to live in one of the creepiest places in the world." He almost glared at the thin t-shirt he was wearing. "And please tell me we're going to get some tunics after we find him."

"We can't go around in jeans and t-shirts, people will start chasing after us with their pitchforks." Link said, also picking at his clothes.

Sheik chuckled picturing that thought.

The rod was pointing to small shack in the corner of the graveyard.

Kai opened the door (with some difficulty) and peered inside. "So where is this guy supposed to be?"

He almost jumped a foot off the ground when a familiar voice answered him.

"You mean me...?"

They looked up, and sure enough, sitting on the roof was a very Hyrulian looking Shigen smiling at them.

Kai's eyes almost popped out of his head. "Wait! You're one of those creepy Haniam (1) things!"

The guy sighed, he seemed bored. "Yes... I am.. Now... why have you called me here...?"

Link held up the soul catcher. "This soul is the soul of one of your descendants. We were hoping you would... share your body with him?"

He leaped down from off the roof and stood in front of Link. "Sounds interesting... Well... that's what would have said if I hadn't already seen this coming..." He motioned to Link, and with one swift strike, Link cut him with the scythe.

The new Shigen fell to the ground limply.

Kai poked him.

Sheik whacked him.

And then, Shigen sat up gasping.

After he caught his breath Link helped him to his feet.

"Sexy... we never do that again..."

Link smiled at him. "Agreed."

Kai grabbed Sheik by the hands and spun him around singing.

Shigen looked around, noting the amount of monsters wandering about. "This means I'm going to have to learn how to fight with swords... and sleep on the ground... and ride a horse now doesn't it...?"

Kai couldn't resist, it was the perfect set up.

"Damn crooked."

* * *

(1) Haniam- A race I created, basically a less scarier version of a redead. And more human like. You can find a full description of them on my profile.


	29. Surprise! hehe!

**Chapter 31: Surprise! hehe!**

Shigen cracked open an eye when the chicken alarm sounded off. It didn't matter how far you traveled away from all the damn farms in Hyrule, you would still hear the stupid chicken every morning.

And Shigen had found out the hard way what happens when you try to silence one of the chickens. A huge flock comes after you and rapes you.

A situation which Link and Kai had found extremely amusing and had not taken it upon themselves to warn him that it would happen.

Other than the embarrassing situations he constantly found himself in due to his lack of knowledge of ancient Hyrule, life was pretty good.

"Come on emo! Time to wakey! We need to start training before it gets too hot." Kai opened all the blinds, followed by the windows, allowing the fresh air and sunlight to seep in.

Shigen made a noise that sounded like half a growl, but was still counted as a mumble, and covered his head with a pillow.

"Come on Mr. Haniam. Just because you don't like the day time, doesn't mean you you can't train in the daytime. It's not like you're a vampire who turns into dust or anything..." He began poking Shigen's side relentlessly.

Shigen quickly tackled Kai and pinned him to the bed, baring his fangs at him. _Sometimes being a Haniam is pretty cool..._

Kai gulped then laughed nervously. "Hey Shi... you don't have to eat me you know... I don't taste that good!"

"I'm pretty sure Link would disagree with you..." He smirked at the shadow before getting off of him and getting dressed, throwing on his black tunic.

Kai let out a sigh of relief. "Man, I hate when it's my turn to wake you up in the morning. You always try to kill me."

"I always try to kill you no matter what the time of day it is..." He strapped on his sword with a grumble, then stomped out the door.

"Well at least he's showing lot's more emotion now." Kai shivered. _You know the Apocalypse is coming when Shigen starts showing emotion._

"No! Keep the sword up, and make sure your left foot is behind you for balance... good. No Shigen, keep your shield arm down, or you'll be open." Link corrected Shigen's position again with a sigh. _You'd think after a year of training, he'd be getting better._

The glare Shigen was giving him had the intensity of about a thousand burning suns.

_I personally think he's just being lazy, I've seen him fight when he puts the effort in it... _He feigned a blow at Shigen's head and twitched when Shigen raised his sword to block it. _He should know my fighting style off by heart now... why didn't he see that coming? Maybe we should move his practice session to the nighttime._

Link parried a blow and flicked his sword, sending Shigen's flying. "That's enough for today Shigen, we'll start again tonight."

"In bed!"

"Kai shut up."

Shigen fell to his knees panting. _At least we don't live in the desert... _

Instead they lived in a small house on the outskirts of the Kokiri forest. It offered plenty of protection from the sun, and from people.

Link sheathed the master sword and went into the house, Kai following after him.

_I haven't eaten in a week now... If Link finds out... _He shivered. _I don't even want to think of it..._

A squirrel chattered at him from on top of a tree branch.

He glaredat it. "Oh... if only I was able to eat animals... you my friend... would be the first on my list..."

It ignored him and continued chattering.

_Why is it that I can only eat people...? I don't want to be a carnivore... _But the thought of ripping his fangs into the flesh of his prey kept flashing in front of his eyes, and soon he was growling and digging his claws into the ground. _I have to... control..._

"Shigen?"

Shigen's blood lust disappeared as fast as it came, leaving him in a cold sweat. "Yeah sexy...?"

Link stared at him questionably. "Aren't you coming inside? It's pretty sunny out today, your eyes must hurt."

Shigen stood and retrieved his almost forgotten sword off the ground and shuffled his way inside. "I'm going back to bed..."

Kai flinched as the bedroom door slammed shut. "Oh man... why did he have to be a nocturnal creature again?"

Link shrugged and sat at the table beside him. "Kai...?"

"Yeah sexy hero 'o' mine?"

Link smiled and pushed him playfully. "You don't think, that Shigen is having any issues with the eating people thing, do you?"

"Dude, he has to 'eat people' who wouldn't have an issue with it?"

Link reached over and wrapped his arms around Kai. "Maybe we should go hunt with him tonight after training." He nibbled on an exposed ear gently.

"Hmm... I guess. If our baby is having problems, we should help him out!" Kai quickly started unbuckling his belt, already knowing where the conversation was going to end up.

"You know..." Link said, nipping and kissing slowly down Kai's neck. "If he ever heard you call him that, he would kill you right?"

"Dully noted."

Shigen pulled several pillows over his head. _I swear... if they don't hurry up and invent earplugs soon..._

Kai watched both boys spar with little interest. He was more interested in going over the love session in his head that happened earlier. _Yep, life is good._

Link flicked the sword out of Shigen's hand for the second time that night. "That's more like it Shigen. You fight way better at night."

"Maybe it's because I don't have the sun burning my eyes out of my head..." _I should have paid more attention to that stupid 'how it's made' show... then I could create sun glasses..._

Link laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. "So now that we've had a good practice session, why don't we all go hunting together?"

"You guys are elves... you don't eat flesh... how would you hunt with me...?" _Link and Kai eat people too...? Man they're weird..._

Kai hit him over the head. "No you moron. Me and Link go and find some kind of evil person, like some who kills people, a bad guy... and then we catch him and bring him to you to eat! No more bad guy, and as a bonus, you get fed." _Ew..._

"Sorry... but I already ate the other night..."_ I wish they would stop acting like my parents... it's really creepy..._

Link grabbed both of their wrists and dragged them in the direction of what he hopped was Castle Town. "Then you can just come with us for the fun of it."

Shigen dug his boots in the ground, stopping Link's dramatic march. "Sexy... shouldn't we bring the horses...?" _Dumbass... It's a three day walk from here to there..._

Link's face lit up with embarrassment. "Oh.. right... I was actually about to go get in the car." _There's one thing I really miss about the future, and that's my pretty car._

Kai looked at Link's depressed face and sighed. "I'll get the horses."

Shigen patted Link's shoulder. "There... there... sexy..." _At least his horse riding skills are better then his driving skills..._

A few minutes later, Kai came back with the three horses, handing Epona to Link, Plash to Shigen, and keeping Cree for himself.

Shigen eyed Plash warily, trying to see if the horse was going to try anything funny. _Well I would actually use my power... but it tends to give me a headache now... Maybe after I've eaten... Not that I want to eat... _

He put his boot in the stirrup and pushed himself up.

Unfortunately, Plash was in one of his moods and he moved quickly to the side. Shigen, with all the momentum he built up from the push, flipped right off the saddle and onto his back with an 'oof'.

Link and Kai looked at each other, then rolled their eyes. It was a normal sight to see Shigen getting beat up by his own horse.

Shigen stood and glared. "Bastard..."

Plash tilted his head and snorted.

_Oh... just you wait my friend... I hear they're in high demand of horses for dog food right now... _

This time when Shigen mounted, he went slowly. "Beat you again... stupid..."

The horse took off without any warning, and Shigen held on for dear life.

"Those two are like an old married couple." Link said nudging Epona into a trot.

"Damn crooked."

It was still a few hours before dawn when they arrived in Castle Town. The boys left their horses tied up behind a couple of bushes by the bridge and went in. Since this was a time after Ganondorf had been defeated, the bridge was always down, even during the night, so they didn't have to worry about climbing over it illegally.

Link placed a hand on the hilt of his dagger. "Hm... We just get here, and already I'm sensing evil." He pointed towards the west side of town, further down in the ally ways.

Shigen took the lead, unable to control his hunger. He was anxious to kill. _Maybe I shouldn't have waited so long..._ _I could have attacked Link or Kai in this state..._

"There's two of them on the top floor, probably discussing some 'important' business." Link gestured towards one of the buildings.

"One of then has killed recently too.. I can smell the blood..." Shigen crouched low then jumped all the way to the top balcony.

Kai let out an impressed whistle. "Damn, I wish I could do that." He gave Link a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll go with him to make sure nothing goes wrong, you wait here." He turned into his shadow form and vanished.

Link pouted and took his position in front of the building. "Damn, wish I could do that."

A few minutes later (Which felt more like hours to Link) Kai staggered out onto the balcony clutching his stomach and fanning himself.

"Kai? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Link unsheathed his sword and was about to rush into the building...

"No hero, I'm fine."

Link stopped and looked up at him. "Huh?"

"Remind me to never eat before I watch Shigen eat." He fanned himself quicker while whimpering.

* * *

"Good morning lovelies~ Why do you all look so worn out? I thought I told you not to drag my dear cousin into those late night adventures of yours."

Shigen resisted the urge to shatter the piece of glass with Koal's face on it. _Think happy thoughts..._

"Are you pregnant cousin? You sure are mood swinging... But that would be cool because our babies would be born around the same time!"

Kai who was building a castle out of playing cards, completely demolished it when he fell off his chair. Link who was doing the dishes, dropped his favorite cup on the floor, smashing it. And Shigen twitched.

"Forget the insult directed at me... What do you mean... our baby...? As in... we both have one... as in... you reproduced and now your spawn will take over the world by slowly driving humanity to insanity...?"

"Well since you guys left us all that money... Me and my lovely Kotomi decided that if we wanted to, we could start a family this young, and be able to support ourselves even with out a job... So Kai~ your gift kind of... got lost..."

Shigen face palmed. "You do realize you're only like... 17...?"

"18 now actually lovely~"

Link said a quick prayer before dumping the remains of his cup in the garbage. "Where is Kotomi anyway?"

"Oh! She's sleeping~ I wore her out last night."

"I think the future is doomed." Kai pointed to his destroyed castle for emphasis.

"Kai lovely~ Don't you get pregnant either!"

Shigen shook the glass. "When will you understand that guys can not ... in any way... get pregnant..."

"Oh right... I forgot Kai was a guy..."

Kai snatched the glass away from Shigen. "I shall prove to you, that I am a guy!" He started unbuckling his belt.

Koal screamed. "No! I don't wanna see!"

Link quickly caught on, and he pounced on his lover. "No Kai, save that for later..."

Kai pulled the glass out from under himself with much difficulty. "Sorry about that Koal, but this big piece of sexyness refuses to let me show you the proof."

"Um... That's all right lovely~ I have to go now anyway! Lot's of shopping to do! Bai!"

The glass went blank.

"Bastard." Kai muttered and then flipped himself on top of Link. "Now hero, where were we?"

Shigen sighed very loudly, then stood up and walked out of the house.

Link and Kai stared after him.

"Maybe we should only get laid outside..."

Link nodded I agreement. "Right."

* * *

Shigen stared up at the clouds, not caring if the bright sun was burning his eyes out. He was perched on Plash's back who was grazing in the small pasture.

"You know horse...? Some times I think it would be better if I just left..."

Plash turned and gave him a look that said 'are you emo-ing again?'

"What do you say boy...? How about it...? You can walk where ever you want... and I'll just come along for the ride..."

The horse walked over to the gate and opened the latch with his teeth.

Shigen repositioned himself so that he was sitting up. "What are you doing...? I didn't mean now..."

Plash shook his head and jumped into a gallop.

Shigen was once again, forced to hang on for dear life. _I swear... once the stupid horse stops... I'm killing it... _Then he remembered that he left his sword at the house. _Fuck me then..._

Plash didn't stop until the sun was setting, casting all of Hyrule in a dusky glow.

Shigen opened an eye and observed his surroundings. _Oh hell no..._

They were in the middle of the same grave yard Shigen had first woken up in. It still looked gloomy as ever.

"But why does it feel like home...?"

He dismounted and led Plash over to the little hut. "Stay here boy... there's something I want to check out..."

He slowly made his way to the back of the graveyard, avoiding the many ghosts that appeared randomly along the way. He jumped over the fence on top of the ledge and peered into the cave. _Ooo... looks nice and dark down there..._

He all but skipped into the darkness. "Hello...?" _Why would I be calling out to anyone? No one lives down-_

"It's about fucking time you came back."

Shigen jumped about a half a foot in the air. "Who...?"

His eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, he squinted until he could make out the shape of a guy. "And you are...?"

"You must have been out in the sun too long, benhail, your brain is all fried. Not that it wasn't before."

Shigen was able to make out details now. Mahogany hair, teal colored eyes...

"Ryuk?"

Ryuk crossed his arms. "No shit."

"Why are you acting like that?"

"What do you mean?" He poked Shigen's forehead. "Your brain really is fried, benhail."

"What the hell is a benhail...?"

Ryuk was very confused at this point. "You mean you're from Hyrule, and you don't know what benhail means? It means 'lord' you dumbass. You're our leader..."

Shigen's face looked like he just saw a pig fly over a rainbow. "Leader of what...?"

Ryuk finally lost his temper, and began shaking Shigen none too gently. "Of the Haniam you fucking moron!"

Shigen barely registered the abuse. _Wait.. the 'other me' was the leader...? Shit..._

* * *

Link looked up from his book when Kai smashed yet another thing when he knocked it over.

"Kai, if you don't stop pacing, were not going to have anything breakable left in the house."

Kai stopped and glared at him. "How can you be so calm when our baby is out there? In the wilderness! Without a fucking sword!"

Link shrugged. "Shigen's old enough to take care of himself. Besides, if he wants to come back, he will."

Kai seated himself beside Link, his eyes tearing up.

Link almost laughed at his pitiful expression. "Don't worry Kaiten." He dropped the books and wrapped his arms around the near-crying shadow. "We'll see Shigen again some day."

Kai sniffed a little and nuzzled into Link's neck. "I hope so hero."


End file.
